


Revelation (Cruel Intentions 2nd arc)

by FayeC



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-02
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 14:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1822072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FayeC/pseuds/FayeC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second installment of Cruel Intentions trilogy - a Mikhail x Fei Long love story of epic proportions that will break your heart and make you swoon. This arc follows the events in NT and is heavy on angst. The entire trilogy has taken 7 years to write and has been translated into 7 languages. IMPORTANT: Cruel Intentions must be read first for this to make sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The wind blew softly through the opened windows of the elegantly decorated study, filling the room with the sweet fragrance of gardenia and jasmine from the small garden outside. A tall, slender figure swayed slightly as the scent reached his nose. He closed his eyes as his mind unlocked the memories equally sweet, memories of breakfasts in the garden, the smell of Italian coffee freshly brewed to perfection, the way he sipped it with his eyes closed, and the satisfying look on his face as he looked up and smiled from across the table. Those were memories he had once tried to forget. But then, all he wanted to do was to relive those moments, unforgettable moments, that may never come again.

Fei Long opened his eyes to the Monet masterpiece that had been hung once more above his desk. Everything in the room, every gift that was given had been restored back in their places. Yet nothing was the same as before, at least not for him.

A few knocks on the door announced the arrival of his most trusted bodyguard, the man who once shared his time in jail, the one man who knew more about his past than any other in Baishe.

Yoh entered the room in silence as usual, knowing how his master did not like his peace disturbed.

"You called for me, Fei Long sama?"

"Yes," The master replied with his eyes still set on the painting. "How is my travel arrangement?"

Unable to hide his concern, Yoh cleared his throat quietly as he thought of what to say. "It's a little complicated for you to leave Hong Kong so suddenly. There are important meetings you need to attend this week."

"Rearrange them." His command was short and firm, signifying the expectation for it to be followed.

"A couple of them involved the head of the other families. I would suggest you reconsider."

The slender figure turned toward him slowly. Fierce, amethyst eyes narrowed in irritation at the answer he did not wish to hear. Everyone at Baishe knew his words were to be followed and obeyed. Liu Fei Long of Baishe does not request, he commands. And even though Yoh enjoyed the privilege of being the one subordinate in Baishe who could pose objections to his will and live through it, he found himself holding his breath at his master's deadly glare that seemed to see right through him.

"Yoh," the usually smooth, silky voice turned cold and commanding.

"Yes, Fei Long sama?"

"Why are we having this conversation?"

He couldn't understand the reasons behind Yoh's reluctance to arrange his trip to Tokyo. Meetings, however important, had always been rearranged if and when he said so and Yoh who had been by his side for over seven years should know better. No, there was something else on Yoh's mind. Something he had yet to find out.

At that point Yoh knew it was pointless to try to convince Fei Long to delay his trip to Japan, especially when he couldn't give the real reasons behind his objections. With a slight sigh, he gave up. "How long do you plan to stay in Tokyo?"

"As long as I need."

Another short, definite answer made his hair stand on end. Fei Long had always seemed cold and commanding before but there was always a touch of tenderness in his presence. For some reasons, the news of Mikhail Arbatov's engagement had turned him more self-assured and intimidating than ever. Fei Long was no longer a man who could be pushed around, which made Yoh even more worried about his trip to Japan. Whatever he planned to do in Tokyo was unchangeable. Fei Long was deadly determined, and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.

"Give me one week to rearrange your schedule?" Yoh asked worriedly. In truth it wasn't the schedule that worried him. He just needed time to make up his mind.

"You have three days." Fei Long demanded. "You may leave."

Yoh nodded and left the room with a heavy heart. It was a bad idea, Fei Long going to Tokyo all of a sudden. Last time it was business and yet it didn't end that way. This time he knew it was personal. Fei Long was going to settle some debts and who knew how much of a mess things would turn out to be.

He only wished he had more time, more time to decide where he stands in all this. It was a decision he wished to God he didn't have to make, at least not this soon. Seven years and still there wasn't enough time. If anything, it only made the situation more complicated.

****

The next afternoon Fei Long attended an important meeting that had been rescheduled per his request. If there was one man who could make the top triad leaders in Hong Kong rearrange their schedules to meet his needs, it was Liu Fei Long of Baishe. That was how powerful he was in his territory. Yet the young leader yielded his power with respect and consideration and it had earned him his subordinate's loyalty unlike any other. He was their pride, not just their master. That was where the strength of Baishe lied, not in its wealth or manpower, but in its highly esteemed leader. And so it was natural that the other leaders, being young or old, comply to his wishes when they can.

As he was greeted upon his entry to the meeting room, Fei Long suddenly paused at the sight of a man across the table. Familiar blue eyes caught his with the usual tenderness, but then there was a mixture of affection and longing. Mikhail should have been in Russia, but there he was, in his usual place as it used to be, only for them nothing was the same as before. Mikhail had become a married man, unavailable, unattainable, and unreachable.

And so as awkward as it seemed, they sat on opposite sides without speaking one word to each other, not even a simple hello. Their eyes alone told stories only they understood. Reduced to nothing more than friends, if not strangers, what remained between them was the unbearable yearning for each other and the unquenchable desire that threatened the very core of their conscience.

Mikhail held his breath as his heart accelerated by the sight of that beautiful face he had been longing for. Fei Long was stunning as usual in his tailored suit and his hair tied back loosely. But there was something different about him, a certain aura that wasn't there before. Dark, amethyst eyes sparkled with self-assurance and determination. He took one look at that face and he knew, this was no longer a man troubled and confused by this past. Fei Long had taken a firm step forward with absolute certainty. This new Fei Long made is heart beat so violently he could hardly sit still. Yet all he could do was to contain it and pretend that everything was normal.

 _Normal? Would he ever feel normal again in this lifetime?_ Mikhail wondered.

"Mr. Arbatov, " the young leader across the table interrupted his thoughts.

Philip Toh, successor of the Toh family, was a man in his thirties. After Toh's death, Philip, being Toh's only legitimate son, took over the family and all its businesses, making him one of the youngest triad leader in Hong Kong next to Fei Long. Anyone would have been contented with this position, only for him it wasn't enough. The man wanted it all, and Baishe, or Fei Long in particular, was in his way. It wouldn't have been a problem for Mikhail had he not shown hostility towards Fei and Baishe in the past for many years. As far as he was concerned, an enemy of Fei was his enemy.

"Perhaps now we can discuss the problem in Macau?"

"Problem?" Mikhail asked unenthusiastically, raising his brow slightly in pretense that he was at all interested.

"I believe we can use more protection from your family. We have discussed it with your brother and still nothing has been done."

"All that costs money, my friend." Mikhail sneered. "We don't usually sweat unless it's worth the effort."

"Well, your cut in it is more than adequate in our opinion." Philip insisted with a rather harsh tone. His wolf-like eyes didn't care to hide their hostility.

"Apparently not enough in mine."

The man paused for a brief moment before a sarcastic smile appeared on his face as if he had just remembered something. "Perhaps it requires more than money to please the Arbatovs." Philip said amusingly. "In which case I'm sure Baishe has something to offer."

Fei Long lifted his eyes to meet the man who was supposed to be his half brother. Only he would rather die than count himself as a Toh. Very few people knew the disgusting truth about him being Toh's illegitimate son but Philip must have known. For as much as he despised his own blood, Philip hated him enough to attempt his murder several times. After all, the old man once picked him to be his successor instead of his legitimate son.

"Be careful what you say." Fei Long warned with the tone that silenced the whole room.

"What I say?" Toh grinned deviously, "Everyone knows you two have been fucking."

Faster than Mikhail could reach for his gun and shoot the man in the head for such remark, Fei Long had nailed the bastard's hand to the table with the switchblade he always carried.

"Mr. Arbatov is a married man and a good friend. I will not stand to see him disgraced by an arrogant prick less than half the man he is." Twisting the blade a little with his firm grip, Fei Long gave him a reason to start crying for his mother. "And who I fuck is my business. Am I understood?"

At that point the bodyguards who were waiting outside stormed into the room. He wasn't sure how many guns were pointing at him for attacking Philip Toh, but he kept his hand around his blade, and kept the blade in Toh's hand as Yoh and the rest of his own bodyguards were ready to shoot if the enemies dared open fire.

"Drop 'em." Mikhail demanded with a gun to Toh's head, causing him to signal his bodyguards to lower their guns.

Fei Long pulled out the blade and wiped the blood off it with Toh's collar with his usual expressionless face. The leader of Baishe may look like a woman, but underestimate him and he'd prove to be your worst nightmare before you know it.

"Gentlemen, I am no longer in the mood to continue. Please excuse me."

With Yoh and his bodyguards escorting him, Fei Long left the room with his usual pace as if nothing had happened. In truth he was rather satisfied. He had been aching to do that for a while and Toh's scream back there was really music to his ears.

"Fei Long." A deep, low voice called him from behind.

He didn't need to turn around to identify the owner of that voice. Fei Long paused for a moment before asking his bodyguards to leave. He needed space, and he didn't want his subordinates to see his vulnerability. For in front of this man, he was, no doubt, vulnerable.

"Thank you." Mikhail said softly. He wasn't sure what to say. For once in his life, Fei Long accepted and defended him in public. Under normal circumstances he would have pulled Fei into his arms and kissed him until he was satisfied. But what right did he have? Fei Long was right in front of him, and all he could do was look.

"Actually, that felt good." Fei Long finally turned around after a brief moment of silence. He needed time to gather his strength or there would be nothing to keep him from running back into those arms.

"You know you made me hot as hell, acting all seme like that." Mikhail chuckled.

"Why don't you give me a chance, I'll show you just how seme I am." Fei Long smiled to himself, satisfied that Mikhail hadn't changed one bit. His playfulness was still there, and his baby blue eyes still looked at him the same way. But this time he could only enjoy it from a distance.

"You realize I might just take that offer?" Mikhail replied with a cunning smile.

"Right," Fei Long looked into those longing blue eyes as he tried to control his own desires. "Who are we kidding?"

Mikhail smiled gently as usual to hear his response, but there were obvious pain in those eyes. It must have been as hard for Mikhail as it was for him.

The bigger man took one step closer, and Fei Long felt like running away. _What if his heart betrayed him? What if he lost control?_

"I can make everything go back to where it was before." He said softly with uncertainty in his voice, knowing what would most likely be Fei's response to what he was proposing.

For a few seconds Fei Long considered the proposal in silence. He would be lying if he said he didn't want that to happen. But the look on Mikhail's face prompted him to ask a crucial question.

"At what cost?"

If there was a way to turn back everything, then there must be a good reason why Mikhail hadn't done it.

"Baishe."

A short answer but it couldn't be any clearer. He paused for a while before asking the question that had been bothering him for weeks. "Is that why?"

Mikhail's silence was enough to confirm it. Finally he understood the reason behind it all. It must have been hard for him to make the decision. The worst thing about it was, that in the end, Mikhail had chosen what he thought was best for him regardless of how much it must have hurt.

"Then you already know my answer." Fei Long said with a heavy heart. Mikhail knew exactly what kind of man he was. Not only had he accepted it, he was also willing to make the sacrifice. How could he ever blame Mikhail for what he did? He would never let go of Baishe for anyone, and for that he must take the consequences.

Mikhail just smiled. He did know the answer. He knew he wasn't Fei's priority. But as much as he wanted to leave it all behind, he found it equally hard to let go. Beatings after beatings from Fei and still all he wanted to do was to stay right here.

Fei Long stepped closer to the man in front of him, the one man who never hesitated to be there for him, someone he had come to trust after seven years of living with lies and deceit.

"I want you to know," He reached out his hand and wrapped the soft, golden curls around his fingers, "today I walk away from the one thing I hold dearest to my heart."

It wasn't a lie. If he could still love and trust someone, Mikhail would be the closest thing to that man. But that didn't change the fact that he was selfish enough to ruin whatever chance they had of being together. He did this, and it was time to let go of what he didn't deserve.

"Goodbye, Misha." Fei Long said with a gentle smile before turning around to walk away.

Mikhail's eyes saddened a little when he heard those words. He knew it was inevitable the moment he decided to get married, but still nothing prepared him for it.

"You're not even going to give me one last kiss?" Mikhail asked playfully.

"I can," he answered with sincerity in his voice, "but will you stop there?"

"No." Mikhail looked straight into his eyes and replied with certainty. For how could he? Fei Long was the only thing he ever wanted in his life.

A sad smile appeared on the beautiful face as he spoke in almost a whisper,

"What makes you think I will?"

 

***

 

Fei Long stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows of the penthouse, looking out into the night sky of Hong Kong that he had seen for countless of times. Only back then the place wasn't so quiet and empty. Ever since Mikhail took over the family Russia, Alexei had moved out of the place and claimed the Arbatov villa as his own, leaving the penthouse vacant. Knowing how he liked to come back to the place every once in a while, Alexei had never changed the security code.

That night in particular he had to come back to that place. It was the night before he left for Tokyo and he needed it, he needed the strength, the courage, and the energy that lingered in that room. He was ready to take a step forward. But for one last night, he just had to come back.

The sound of the private elevator opening from behind interrupted his thoughts. He turned around and tried to make out the intruder in the dark.

Intruder? Fei Long thought. He must be out of his mind. There were only two more people who knew the security code to that room and they had every right to be there. It was really him who was the intruder.

Fei Long could feel his heart accelerated as the man approached. He knew those footsteps. He remembered that shadow. And the face that appeared out of the darkness was the one he was far from ready to confront. _Not here._ He thought. _Not now._

Mikhail seemed just as surprised to see him there. But all he did was standing still, looking straight at him as if that was something he had been wanting to do all his life. Those blue eyes stared at him with desire so intense he could feel it under every inch of his skin.

"Sorry for intruding." Fei Long said as he hurried past the man before him. "I was just about to leave."

Mikhail grabbed his arm with the usual tenderness. Strong fingers stroke the fabric of his sleeve as if he could feel the skin underneath. It was a subtle touch, but any more than that and his conscience would shatter.

"Stay for a drink at least."

*****


	2. Chapter 2

"One drink." Fei Long wanted to bite his tongue for saying it. One drink was probably what it was going to take to make him lose his control and yet he had agreed to stay. But at that particular moment, despite his highly disciplined nature, the word 'no' was simply too painful to utter.

Mikhail held on to his arm a little longer before letting go. A heavy sigh escaped from his lips as he turned around and walked toward the bar as if he had been holding his breath after all this time. The truth was, he was holding back far more than that, and they both understood it too well. 

Fei Long followed him with a heavy heart. It wasn't like Mikhail to be so quiet and reserved. Being in the same room as him never felt so awkward. But what did he expect? They were exactly where they shouldn't be, alone, with each other, in a place that brought back so many memories, too many memories. 

He stood quietly behind the bar, watching the movements of Mikhail's hands skillfully fixing his their drinks. It was a sight he had seen more than a dozen times and still found himself unable to take his eyes off it. There was something irresistibly warming about Mikhail behind a bar or a kitchen table, with his sleeves rolled up casually to his elbows and his blue eyes focusing on the job at hand. It was the only time one may get a glimpse of his tenderness despite his coarser appearance and his ruthless mafia attitude. 

"You're not even going to ask me what I want?" Fei Long teased playfully in an attempt to break away from his own thoughts and improve the suffocating silence in that room. 

"I don't need to." Mikhail replied and turned around with a drink in his hand. "Bourbon," he grinned, looking rather proud of himself, "The way you like it."

_The way he liked it._ Only Mikhail would know him that well. "I ought to hire you as my personal bartender." 

"Of course, love, but can you afford me?" Mikhail said playfully, mocking the voice of Philip Toh, "It takes more than money to please the Arbatovs."

Fei Long laughed quietly at the remark, relieved to see the old Mikhail starting to come back. The Russian's playfulness and his remarkable confidence were his best assets. It would be a shame to see them disappear.

"You never change, do you?" Fei Long asked playfully with a hint of affection in his voice.

"No." Mikhail replied as he stepped closer and stopped just inches from man before him. "Never." He whispered, raising his hand to touch the beautiful face with the tips of his fingers. 

It was a simple touch and yet he almost jumped out of his skin for such contact. In truth, he wasn't even sure he didn't, for later he felt Mikhail's hand around his arm, trying to hold him steady.

"Is it really that hard seeing me again?" Mikhail asked with a concerned look on his face. He knew they would never be the same, but at least he wished Fei Long wouldn't be so distant.

If there was one person who could read him like a book, it was Mikhail Arbatov. He had never been able to hide anything from those blue eyes that seemed to watch his every move since the first time they met. Perhaps it was a good thing. But at that time, it surely wasn't. He knew Mikhail was holding back, waiting for a sign, a gesture, something that told him he had permission to approach. The moment he gave in, no matter how slight the gesture, Mikhail would try to claim it. And at that particular moment, he just couldn't count upon himself to resist.

As he looked down in an attempt to hide his expression, he noticed Mikhail's shirt was dripping wet and realized he had just spilled his drink all over it.

"Sorry." Fei Long apologized and quickly worked his way through changing the subject. That might very well be the break he needed. "You can send me a bill for that."

Mikhail just laughed and tossed him a nearby towel. "Why don't you save me the trouble of sending you a bill?"

He snatched the towel off the Russian's hand but not before giving him a deadly glare. He usually would never do such a thing for anyone. but under the circumstances, it was better than being confronted with the question he didn't wish to answer.

"Bastard." Fei Long complained as he blotted the drink off with the towel. He didn't want to look up. The man must be grinning like an idiot right about now. 

But what he initially thought was a good break proved to be a bad idea. Mikhail's shirt was soaking wet right down to his skin, and he soon found himself unable to take his eyes off that body. The sight of his wet white shirt clinging to that well-chiseled body reminded him of what it was like to run his hands down that skin. And it didn't help that Mikhail was breathing heavily down his neck, daring him to do what he considered an unforgivable sin. 

Why was it that everything he ever wanted was always out of his reach? He never understood his father's love for him until it was too late. Asami had left him just when he was starting to care. And now that he had come to realize how much Mikhail meant to him, despite where his heart truly lied, the man had come to belong to someone else. Was it the cruelty of living that everyone must go through, or was it just his fate?

Mikhail stepped closer and ran the tip of his fingers slowly down Fei's back, imagining the soft, flawless skin underneath. Every part of that body was once his to claim. Every inch of that skin he had kissed and tasted. Fei Long was his love and obsession. He had never desired anything more nor addicted to anything so madly. He knew he wasn't supposed to make his move and risked offending Fei Long. But to be that close and not at least taste those lips was too much torture.

"Don't." Fei Long protested with a slightly shaky voice just before their lips met. He was already at the limit of his self-control. One kiss was all it would take to make him lose it completely. 

"Fei." Mikhail whispered, nuzzling his nose on the delicate cheek as he inhaled the sweet scent that mercilessly squeezed his heart. "I will always belong to you and you know it."

Fei Long looked at those blue eyes and realized what a big mistake he'd just made by accepting that one drink in the first place. How could he have forgotten the extent of Mikhail's affection for him? How many times had this man stripped down his defense with it? 

"I can't do this." He stepped back and rushed to the elevator, praying that Mikhail did not follow or tried to stop him. It was hard enough telling himself to leave.

_Leave._ He repeatedly told himself. _Leave and don't look back._

As the door closed he turned around to see Mikhail standing on the other side, looking at him with eyes that could stop his heart. The elevator descended and all the while he found himself breathing hard as if there wasn't enough air to breathe. It was the right thing to do. But why did he feel the constant need to convince himself of that fact? Why did everything feel so wrong?

Mikhail sighed heavily as he rested his hand on the wall by the elevator for support. All his life he had always followed his heart. He never realized until that day how hard it was to deny his own feelings. Fei Long had just slipped through his fingers, and there was nothing he could do about it.

The chime of the elevator startled him from his thoughts. The doors slowly opened and in it stood the one man he didn't expect to see. Fei Long stepped out and confronted him with a furious look on his face. Without a single word he landed a heavy punch on Mikhail's left cheek that threw him off balance.

Mikhail steadied himself and wiped the blood off the corner of his mouth as he tried to grasp the situation. "What the..."

"That's for making me do this." Fei Long snapped angrily as he snatched a handful of Mikhail's hair and pulled him down to a deep kiss. 

It wasn't something he would normally do, letting his feelings overpower his judgment like this. But every restrains he was trying to pull off had proven to be a failure and for once in his life he did just what his heart told him to do. Still, he was frustrated beyond control, frustrated at Mikhail for being there, for tempting him, but most of all he was frustrated at himself for giving in to such temptation. At that point he just didn't care about anything anymore. He wanted this, and he was going to get it. Right here. Right now. 

Faced with Fei Long's unquenchable desire and his own unbearable yearning, Mikhail let go of any trace of self-control he had left and immersed himself completely in that kiss. Fei Long had come back to him and nothing else mattered. No reasons were good enough to make him hesitate. No morals held enough value to stop him. 

Locked together in each other's maddening desire, they held on to one another as if their lives depended on it. Every kiss was impatient and desperate, as if not doing so would mean the end of their very existence. 

Fei Long cried out as Mikhail slammed his body against the wall, pinning him in place with his weight. He pressed his lips against the long, elegant neck, sinking his teeth into the softness of Fei Long's skin. He could draw blood from it and still it wouldn't be enough. He wanted it all. He needed the taste of Fei Long in his mouth, needed it to stay forever in his memory. 

Fei Long accepted him without hesitation, pulling him closer and harder into his embrace. Long, delicate fingers grabbed the fabric of the bigger man's shirt and impatiently ripped it off the masculine shoulder. He desperately needed to feel the heat from Mikhail's body against his bare skin. He longed to feel that heart beating against his chest. Longed to be embraced, caressed, and loved by this man.

"Tonight I want nothing between us." Fei Long demanded.

A gentle smile appeared on Mikhail's face. If Fei Long only knew how he felt to hear those words from his lips. With Fei here in his arms, accepting him, wanting him, he could die that night and still his life would have been worth living.

Once more, Mikhail captured those lips with his, filling his mouth with the sweet taste of the man who possessed his heart. He removed the fabrics that separated them one by one, until there was nothing left but the bareness of their skin. 

In the heat of the night among the breathtaking sight of Hong Kong's night sky, they clung to each other with all their strengths, stealing every chance to possess one another to satisfy their ravenous craving. It wasn't just about sex. It wasn't just lust. It was about feeling each other's presence, the warmth of each other's skin, the tenderness in each kiss, and the essence of love in every embrace. 

Their hearts consumed with fire. Their bodies burned with passion. Engaged in an act that condemned them to hell, they tasted their glimpse of heaven. They embraced each other as if it was the first time they ever made love, at the same time realizing that it may very well be their last.

"Hold on to me," Mikhail whispered as he placed Fei Long's arms around his neck. "Don't let go."

_Don't ever let go._

 

****

There were still a few hours before dawn. Mikhail sat by the bed in his robe, watching his lover sleeping quietly by his side. His lover? To him he was. To Fei Long he may never be that man.

A tender smile appeared on the ruggedly handsome face as he rested his eyes on the cylindrical pendent on Fei Long's neck. But the smile rapidly disappeared as his eyes traveled down to the scar on an otherwise flawless chest. There was so much he didn't know about Fei Long, so much he needed to know. 

But now that everything had turned out this way, would he ever get close enough to find out the truth? Will Fei Long ever trust him enough? He had convinced himself to let it go. But seeing Fei Long again like this had just made him realize he was far from ready to let go. 

****


	3. Chapter 3

The room was still dark when he opened his eyes. He took a glance at his watch - 6 am. It was still early, but the bed was empty. Where was Mikhail?

The strong aroma of freshly brewed coffee reached his nose and he found himself exhaling with relief. It seemed like an eternity since the last time he woke up to the smell of Mikhail's coffee. Back then it was simply something he was indifference to. He didn't know when it became a part of his life - something he actually missed when it wasn't there.

Fei Long put on his robe and noticed something on the bedside table - a ring. Just one look at it made his heart grew heavy. Mikhail must have taken it off that night. But was it because he didn't want him to see it on his finger, or was he ashamed?

And what about him? What had he done? He'd just slept with a married man. It was unforgivable. And yet somehow he didn't regret it. What kind of a man would commit such adultery and not regret? What was he turning into?

He stepped into the living room and looked around. Mikhail was nowhere to be found. Strange, he thought. Usually, he'd be on the sofa, sipping his coffee with a newspaper in his hands. And then his blue eyes would light up when he entered. ëGood morning, princess.' He'd say. No one would dare call him a princess. But the way Mikhail said it was somehow sweet - sweet, because it was spoken with sincerity and in his voice was, without mistake, affection.

He stepped out onto the large balcony and a sigh of relief escaped his lips. Mikhail was sitting by the pool, still in his robe, with one hand holding his coffee, the other a cigarette.

His relief was short-lived when he realized there was something wrong with that picture. Mikhail doesn't smoke. Sometimes, for pleasure, he would be seen with an expensive Cuban cigar, but Mikhail smoking a cigarette meant something was seriously wrong.

Fei Long walked over and sat down next to him. Upon sensing his presence, Mikhail turned around and smiled tenderly, just not wholeheartedly.

"Hi." His greeting was short and unusual. Not ëGood morning', and without an embrace, or a kiss, nothing. Something was definitely off. But what?

"It's a little early for smoking, isn't it?" Fei Long asked casually, his hand reached for the burning cigarette between Mikhail's fingers and brought it to his lips. Considering the situation, he needed one as much.

"You're starting to sound like my wife." A sarcastic smile appeared at the corner of his mouth as he spoke. It was just a joke. His life was one big joke. Back then the only thing that stood between him and his happiness was getting Fei Long's attention. How ironic it was that when he finally got what he wanted, everything and everyone else seemed to get in the way. He was sitting next to the man he loved, in his own place, and with his lover's consent - a perfect picture no matter how one looks at it - but in place of happiness, in his heart was only frustration. Fei Long may have come back to him last night, but in the morning he'd beat himself over it, and then he'd leave. He thought he could handle it, but his patience was running out.

With a long, frustrating sigh, he reached across his lover's lips and took back his cigarette.

"I take it you've finally found your missing conscience?" Fei Long asked casually. What else could be on his mind but guilt? Or, perhaps, regret?

"What conscience?" Mikhail said quietly, exhaling the smoke from his lungs as he spoke. "She already knows. And she lets me."

Fei Long lifted his brow in surprise when he heard those words, his hand reached over, stealing the cigarette from Mikhail's hand one more time and filled his lungs with the pungent smoke. The knowledge that Feodora approved of their love affairs even before it happened didn't help. If anything, it made him feel worse. It wasn't just them that were suffering. Others were dragged into it as well. How pathetic.

"And you don't regret any of it?" He felt the need to ask, and he was expecting a straight answer.

Mikhail looked at him with a slightly irritated expression, as if it was the most ridiculous thing to question.

"What kind of man do you take me for? Only an idiot would ever regret being with you." The word regret wasn't in his dictionary and it certainly wasn't in his mind.

"What then?" Fei Long asked. If not guilt or regret, then what exactly was troubling him?

Mikhail didn't answer. He quietly reclaimed his cigarette and put out the smoke in the nearby ashtray as he rose from his chair.

"Let's go inside. I'll make you some coffee."

Fei Long seated himself at the bar, waiting quietly for his coffee, for Mikhail to initiate the conversation, and for the reply to his previous question. It was almost scary seeing him that way - so quiet, so reserved.

Mikhail placed a cup of coffee on the bar table before him and stood quietly, holding his breath for a few seconds as if deliberating on what to say, or rather, how and if he should say it. A few minutes passed and his eyes became focused, signifying that he had come to a decision.

"Tell me about your brother."

For a moment there Fei Long found himself speechless. He was expecting something else and Mikhail hit him with a question that almost knocked him off balance.

"My brother is dead." Fei Long answered in a firm, confidence tone, as if to convince himself of the very fact as well as the other man.

"He's not dead and you know it." Fei Long had brushed the question aside far too many times. Usually he would just drop the conversation. But this time it was different. This time it was crucial that he knew the truth before he made his move.

"He is to me." Fei Long repeated with a scornful tone. He didn't quite understand why Mikhail suddenly needed to press him on the subject. What good would it do to dig up the past he'd already left behind?

Mikhail's blue eyes turned a frightening ice blue as they narrowed in an attempt to see through what he was trying to hide. It made him uneasy. There were several times he saw that hostility on Mikhail's face, but they were never directed toward him. Perhaps he didn't know Mikhail as well as he thought he did. Perhaps this man was more terrifying than he had anticipated.

"And yet he haunts you until this day. What did he do?" Mikhail asked. He was convinced something must have happened, something that had to do with all the mess in Fei's past. No one seemed to know exactly what went wrong seven years ago no matter how hard he tried to find out.

"It has nothing to do with you." Fei Long warned him with a glare, suggesting that the subject be dropped at that very moment. And usually it would be. One irritated look on his face and Mikhail would try his best to change the subject and make him feel better. But that day he sensed it wasn't going to be that easy. And he was right. Without warning, Mikhail's fist slammed hard on the table, knocking over the coffee that was sitting in between them.

"It has EVERYTHING to do with me." Mikhail raised his voice to almost a shout. His eyes burned a blue flame filled with anger, his body trembled with fury. What did Fei Long thought he was? A good fuck? Someone too insignificant to reveal his life to? After all this time, after all that he'd done, Fei Long still kept him in the dark. It was as if he had two separate lives, one with him in it, the other with that man and his past - one he wasn't allowed to touch.

Fei Long drew back a little at what was happening in front of him. He had never seen Mikhail so furious. For the first time in his life he actually felt intimidated by this man. He wasn't scared - Mikhail would never hurt him - but he knew he was being pushed to reveal something against his will, and that made him uneasy.

"Because of it you're running back to Tokyo - to that man. How the hell do you think I feel? How long will you keep me in the dark? When will you trust me? WHEN?" Those questions had been haunting him far too long, and he'd had enough holding them back. At least not then, not when he couldn't seem to get even one thing that he wanted.

"Don't push me, Mikhail." Fei Long responded firmly. It wasn't about trust. Some things are better left unknown. "I've never once asked you about your scars. Stay away from mine."

The fire in those blue eyes suddenly receded, showing the only thing left in them that was worse than agony. They showed despair.

"I was beginning to think you've never noticed." Mikhail said quietly, his voice trembled a little as he continued, "or perhaps you never cared enough to ask."

It wasn't about his scars, but the fact that Fei Long had never taken an interest that pained him the most.

"I don't see the point of trespassing on old wounds."

"Trespassing?" Mikhail repeated, tracing the word as if every resonant was a knife driven through his heart. "I never knew until this day that you still consider me a stranger."

"You know that is not true." The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Mikhail any more than he already had. But the more he stayed around, the more often he ended up doing just that.

"Prove it." Mikhail demanded. "If I mean anything to you, then tell me what happened seven years ago." He was going to get his answers that day no matter what it cost. For without it, they had no future.

With his back right against the wall by his own words and his heart put to the test, Fei Long felt a surge of anger rose within him. To hell with it, he thought, to hell with this relationship. Whatever Mikhail thought of him after this didn't really matter. It wasn't as if they had a future anyway.

"My brother tried to rape me." He began with a calm, collected voice that grew cold and bitter with each passing word.

"I ran to Asami whom I think I could trust. I was wrong. My father was killed because of my foolishness. The man I trusted let my real father shoot me and left without a single word or explanation. As for Yan, I don't ever want to see him again. And I don't care if he lives or dies."

There it was, his disgusting past, his foolishness, and his sins revealed in a few short sentences before the one man who had him on a pedestal. He watched as Mikhail took it in complete silence. He didn't move. He just stood there, absolutely still, as if that was the only thing he could do at the time.

"I'm not exactly your princess anymore, am I?" Fei Long smiled a sarcastic smile. Now Mikhail knows the whole truth about him. Now is where it ends, the way it should have ended a long time ago.

"Go back to your wife, Mikhail." He said with a faint smile. "I have nothing to give you."

Mikhail watched in silence as Fei Long left the penthouse without another word. It was then that he finally understood Fei's reasons for keeping it from him, for building a wall around his heart, and why he hadn't been able to erase Asami Ryuichi from his life. Fei Long was an abandoned child whose life depended on finding his own worth. In his reach for acceptance he had found nothing but deceit and betrayal. Even then he was still reaching. He was reaching for Asami Ryuichi - for something that was never real, hoping that everything was a mistake, that he wasn't abandoned, that Asami cared.

What would you do, Fei? Mikhail thought to himself, what would you do when you find out that your worst fear turns out to be true?

Mikhail closed his eyes and sighed with a heavy heart. This wasn't the time for him to go back to Russia and let things be. He had to do something before it's too late.

With that thought in mind he reached for the phone in the pocket of his robe and speed dialed a number.

"Mikhail?" a man answered casually but with respect in his tone.

"I need information on LiuYan Tsui." Mikhail demanded with a frightening gleam in his blue eyes. "I want to know where he is, what he's doing, and I want it by tomorrow."

***

Macau

A few knocks on the door announced the arrival of a guest he had been waiting for. Mikhail promptly gave him the permission to enter.

Dmitri was a man slightly older than he was with dark hair and hazel eyes. One could say he was ruggedly handsome if not for the deep scar that ran from his left ear to the corner of his mouth. It had been a while since he called upon Dmitri for a job. The man was always flawless in his work but also little hard to control and unnecessarily expensive. But this time he was perfect for the job.

"Tell me you've got something." Mikhail asked impatiently. He didn't have any time to waste.

"Would I be here otherwise?" The man replied with a cunning smile. In truth he was a little surprised to receive a call from Mikhail Arbatov, considering the fact that the man had more than enough underlings to use and dispose of at his will. Usually he'd be called upon when his subordinates couldn't do the job. Either that, or it was the secrecy issue. This time, since it involved Liu Fei Long, and everyone knew about their relationship, he was sure it was the latter.

"Sit down." Mikhail ordered, seating himself behind his desk and offered Dmitri a cigar after lighting one for himself.

"Where is he?"

"I have no idea." Dmitri replied with an irritating smile as he leaned back on his chair and enjoyed the delicate fragrance of the fine cigar in his hand. He couldn't help but feeling a little amused at the situation. This Liu Fei Long was going to start a war within the Arbatov family for sure.

"I don't have time for your bullshit, Dmitri." Mikhail warned him with a glare. It was too easy a job for a man like Dmitri. The man would have been one fine subordinate if only his loyalty could be bought. Unfortunately, he would only work independently, although in a situation like this, his independence proved to be useful.

"I know how to find him." He replied with a grin, obviously proud of his work. The task Mikhail gave him wasn't easy. No information was easy to get when it had something to do with Baishe. Fei Long's men worshipped the man to the extent of going far beyond duty. But that was also Baishe's weakness. While loyalty is useful, obsession can be lethal.

"I'm listening." Mikhail leaned back as his eyes focused on the man in front of him.

"Why do you think he'd never returned to Hong Kong?" Dmitri began with a question. He wondered how much Mikhail already knew.

"I was under the impression that he was charged with the murder of his father." Fei Long never told him this, but it was easy enough to dig up.

"True. But there was no witness, no evidence, nothing. For a man of Yan Tsui's power, getting himself out of that mess should be relatively easy, especially when Liu Fei Long was in jail, charged with Toh's murder, yes?"

The part about the witness and evidence he didn't know. But it that was true, Dmitri had a point. If Yan Tsui was ambitious enough to kill his own father, why didn't he try to come back and resume command of Baishe?

"The truth is, he did try to come back and almost succeeded before Fei Long started making his moves, got himself out of jail, and took over Baishe." Dmitri continued with a look that showed he wasn't satisfied with that story.

Mikhail listened quietly, knowing that there was more to the story that Dmitri was about to reveal. But considering how much Fei Long loved and Baishe, it didn't seem odd to him that he'd do whatever it took to keep Baishe from the man who killed his father, even though it was his son.

"But the strange thing is, Fei Long voluntarily went to prison. He'd accepted the charge when there was no evidence or witness whatsoever that he had killed Toh. The man stayed in prison for one whole year, completely cut off from Baishe by his own will, and all of a sudden he wanted out, people start dying, evidence started showing up and he was released from prison to take over Baishe with every single man who was loyal to his brother miraculously wiped out just in time for his release. And from then Yan Tsui never made a single attempt to come back. Now tell me if you don't find that odd."

Mikhail's blue eyes narrowed as the truth revealed itself before him.  
"The man I trusted let my real father shoot me."

He didn't kill Toh. Someone else did, someone who was there when he was shot.

The man I trusted...

Mikhail clenched his fists as Fei Long's words echoed in his mind. He must have lost the will to live and blamed himself for everything that happened to willingly go to jail without a fight. Why wouldn't he? The man had lost his whole family in one night, his real father didn't just abandon him - he wanted him dead. And to add to the injury, the only one left in the world he felt he could turn to deserted him with no explanation. A wound like that would have taken a long time to heal, if ever. What Dmitri said did raise some questions in his mind. Something must have happened in jail to put him back on his feet.

"Someone was helping him." Mikhail said his thoughts aloud.

"Someone with enough power to scare the hell out of Yan Tsui." Dmitri added, keenly watching the expression on Mikhail Arbatov's face changing from curiosity to that of a murderer. While he had no clue as to who the man was, Mikhail seemed to know it instantly.

Mikhail grounded his teeth when he finally understood the whole story. There was only one man powerful enough to execute the mass murder of Yan Tsui's men, only one man would involve himself in that mess, perhaps to pay back what he had taken from Fei Long, or perhaps there was still profit to be made out of all this. Whatever his motive was, the man left Fei Long in jail to take the blame for Toh's murder. To him, that fact alone was unforgivable.

Suddenly a thought flashed in his mind.

"Who was sent to jail with him?"

Dmitri smiled cunningly and handed him a sheet of paper. On it was a list of names. "See anyone you know?"

Mikhail's eyes traveled down the list and paused at a more than familiar name. His expression turned into one Dmitri would never forget - one that gave him second thoughts about giving him that piece of information. He had expected Mikhail to swear, or at least showed some kind of anger physically. But all he did was stare at that piece of paper without making a sound. His breathing was slow and quiet. Those blue eyes almost turned white, like those of a bloodthirsty vampire imagining the taste of his victim's blood on his lips and the screams of his kill in his ears. This was the real Mikhail Arbatov with nothing but pure mafia blood running in his veins. It made him sick to his stomach to be in the same room as the man in that kind of mood.

Seven long years and Fei never had a clue. One last betrayal that would tear down whatever self-esteem he may have retained from a lifetime of humiliation. It was a bomb carefully planted seven years ago, waiting to be detonated - an unforgivable scheme against Fei, a strike at his own heart. For him to sit on it and do nothing was not an option. Some people will have to die. The question was who, and how many.

Dmitri watched quietly as Mikhail rose from his chair walked to the window. With his back turned to him it was difficult to see his expression, not that he wanted to see it for that matter. The silence in that room was suffocating enough without seeing the man's face as he mercilessly put together a list of names to execute.

"If anyone knew the location of Liu Yan Tsui, it's this guy." Dmitri quickly concluded. At that point, he just wanted to leave the room. "Why don't we ask him?"

Mikhail breathed in the delicately rich smoke of his cigar and replied with a spiteful smile. "Why ask an underling when you can ask the master?" It was about time he confronted the man properly before it was too late.

"Your check is on my desk. You may leave." Mikhail ended the conversation. He had gotten all he needed to know.

"Dmitri." The man was called once more before he left the room. "You do know the reason I called you."

"If it comes from me, you can have my life." Mikhail obviously didn't want people in his organization to know what he was planning to do. It would be a suicidal attempt for him to let it leak from his mouth.

"It will not be your life I'm taking, but that of your wife and daughter." Mikhail warned, turning his head slightly to make sure the man understood. "You will live to go to their funeral."

Dmitri nodded quietly before he left the room. With that look on his face it wasn't a threat, but a fact. And even if he never talked, Mikhail will have to do some cleaning in his organization to keep things under control. Most likely he'd be called upon again, and then it wouldn't just be information he wanted. It was an opportunity for him to make money, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to get involved in a mess this deep.

Mikhail Arbatov was pissed. Things were going to get ugly from now on.


	4. Chapter 4

  
It was Monday night. Club Sion was a little quiet. Asami walked passed the familiar crowd without paying attention to anyone in particular. While all members knew who he was, they also knew he wasn't the kind of man who felt greeting guests was an obligation, not that obligation ever existed in his dictionary.

He headed straight to his office. It had been a long day and he was a little tired. Perhaps he should find out where Takaba was. The boy was his personal energy drink. And lately he had found himself craving for it more often than he had anticipated - which wasn't a good idea. He had no room for relationships, emotional attachment, or even a simple craving that might affect his judgments and decisions. It was crucial for him to remain in control at all times. For in his world, the failure to do so was fatal.

He pushed the door open as he reached for another cigarette in his jacket and paused in front of the door when he looked up. There was a man behind his desk, sitting in his chair. And not just any man, it was Mikhail Arbatov.

Asami continued lighting his cigarette and approached the desk calmly without reaching for his gun. It was his territory. The Russian would have to be mad to try anything stupid. But then again, considering Arbatov's unpredictable reputation, he could very well be dealing with a mad man. That fact alone made him a dangerous opponent - one he should always be cautious of.

"How did you get in here?" The bastard had some nerve coming into his office alone.

"That is for you to ask your men, isn't it?" The Russian replied with a smirk. "Or kill them for it." He admitted it wasn't easy, but not quite impossible.

"Get off my seat." Asami commanded, his eyes flashed an intimidating gold - a look that usually sent people running for the door. But this was Mikhail Arbatov, the kind of man who probably found it amusing even if he was sent to hell, and consequently, and naturally, feared no one.

Mikhail snickered in his throat and brought his feet up on the desk. What did the man expect? He hadn't listened to anybody since he was three years old.

"I suppose you're going to tell me what made you suicidal?" Asami asked, seating himself on the opposite side of the desk. How this kid managed to survive this long with that kind of attitude was beyond him. Or perhaps there was more to it behind that rebellious teenage behavior that both Arbatov's sons seemed to suffer from. In which case, he was rather curious to see it.

"I need information." Mikhail replied, drumming his fingers leisurely on the table.

Asami raised his brow in curiosity. The last time they met the Russian was determined to kill him. Now he just wanted information? Unpredictable was an understatement.

"And what makes you think I would fulfill your needs?" Asami leaned back and crossed his legs as he waited for the proposition. It seemed the kid wanted to do business, in which case it might not be a complete waste of time to listen.

"You tell me." Mikhail reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a photograph and slid it across the table. "How much does he worth? I mean he's kind of cute, isn't he?"

For a moment, there was obvious hostility in those golden eyes. It lingered only for a split second before it disappeared into the cold, expressionless mask he wore. He would have missed it had he not paid such a close attention. This man was either brilliant at bluffing, or the boy really did mean nothing to him.

"You should think twice before trying to steal my possessions, Arbatov."

"Oh, I think I can do a little more than stealing." The Russian grinned devilishly. "Besides, what would I do with him? I don't have a thing for ordinary boys. You do."

He was surprised when he saw the photograph. Compared to Fei Long, the boy was more than ordinary - he was common enough to be found on every corner of the earth. To be honest he wasn't even sure he had something good enough to negotiate with a man like Asami Ryuichi. But it was worth a try. And it seemed his sources might be right after all.

"Perhaps I do." The Japanese man raised his chin slightly as he exhaled the smoke from his lungs. "And perhaps he's just a toy."

"But, of course," Mikhail winked. "You're also the kind of man who doesn't like losing his toys."

"That depends on your proposition. If it's too much of an effort I can easily afford new ones."

Mikhail paused for a few seconds to read the older man's expression. This egotistic prick certainly wasn't easy to chew. With his issues aside, he had to admit, Asami Ryuichi was somewhat extraordinary. The man wasn't just good looking, he had a presence that commanded attention similar to that of Fei Long's, but a colder and a more intimidating one. Not that he had expected anything less from a man who managed to capture Fei Long's attention to this extent.

"I want the location of Liu Yan Tsui." Mikhail said plainly. The man seemed like a straightforward kind of guy. He might was well get to the point.

Asami thought for a second and laughed quietly in his throat when he realized what Mikhail's plan must be. Fei Long really had a way with men to be able to drive Arbatov's crown jewel desperate enough to come to him over this. But while it was rather amusing to see the man foolishly jumping into trouble over personal issues, it was no laughing matter. With his power, Arbatov could turn everything into a big mess.

"I hope you know what you're getting into." Asami warned. It was a stupid move to interfere with Fei Long's past. A man in Mikhail's position should know it.

"That's my problem. The question is, what's yours?" Mikhail replied, his blue eyes narrowed as he anticipated the response to his question. He didn't just come here for Yan Tsui. He also came for the answer Fei Long never had. He had come to understand his enemy.

Asami's eyes flashed a vicious gold when he heard the question. He was being studied. Those blue eyes scrutinized his every expression like a wolf studying its prey before an attack. The Russian was no fool. He knew exactly what he needed to do before making a move.

"It's not your war, Arbatov." Asami replied with an expressionless face. If the kid thought he was easy, he had better think again.

"Then whose is it?" Mikhail stared right into those eyes, convinced they would eventually reveal the truth. "Yours?"

"I'm no longer interested." Asami replied without a pause. In truth, whether or not he considered Fei Long's past as his problems, it must not be revealed, especially not to someone who considered him an enemy.

"Then it should be relatively painless to give me his location, isn't it?"

"I don't enjoy losing my pawn." The older man replied casually.

"It's your pawn or your toy." Mikhail cocked his head in a playful manner, reaching into his pocket for a business card and placed it in front of the older man. "Here's my number. Why don't you let me know? You have until midnight or you will have to start looking for a new toy."

Asami took a quick glance at the card and brushed it aside disinterestedly. "I can also kill you right here and rid myself of the nuisance."

"And risk a war with the Russian mafia? That's something I'd do. Not you." Mikhail laughed amusingly at the remark. Asami Ryuichi was the kind of man who does not make unprofitable moves or act on impulse. Wise. But that also made him predictable.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Asami said with his usual smirk. Although he had to admit, the Russian bastard did his homework flawlessly.

"If you feel you haven't done enough damage seven years ago, then by all means, shoot me." Mikhail replied. With that spy planted so close to his subject, surely the man knew of his relationship with Fei Long. It was what he wanted to know - whether or not the man could and would strike.

At that point Asami smiled to himself. He had just lost the battle. It was inevitable. He couldn't possibly win against someone who had just put his life on the line for love, considering the fact that he had never been foolish enough to love anyone or even come close to it.

"And your solution to undo that damage is to kill his brother?"

Mikhail smiled as the change of subject confirmed his thoughts and rose to his feet. Pausing a little before he proceeded to the door, he turned back to the older man.

"Why don't you worry about your own life? As soon as he gives me permission, you're the first one I'm coming after." The Russian declared with a slight smile on his face, but the hostility in those eyes told a different story.

"You always follow his order?" The older man asked mockingly. He just couldn't let the bastard leave without insulting him a little.

Mikhail turned around and grinned widely without a trace of anger or shame in his expression. "I always follow my heart." The man replied proudly. "I'll be waiting for your call."

Asami made no move as the Russian left the room without another word. That declaration had just made him one of his most dangerous opponents. For as absurd as it may seem, there was nothing in the world more destructive and unpredictable than a man driven by his heart. Worse, when he never considered himself having one, and therefore could never predict the man's action with certainty.

"That wasn't like you." A voice sounded from the dark corner of the room as its owner stepped out into the light with a gun in his hand.

"What is like me, Kirishima?"

"Find his weakness. Strike back?" Kirishima asked suggestively. No one had ever succeeded in threatening his boss and he wanted to see to it that no one does.

Asami smiled sarcastically to himself. Perhaps under normal circumstances he would have. But this time it was different.

"Mikhail Arbatov has one weakness, and it happens to be one I can't strike." He couldn't do it seven years ago. He still couldn't do it then. That bastard knew this and came all the way to Tokyo just to prove it.

"Would you like me to check on the boy?"

"There's no need." Asami replied, lighting himself another cigarette. Whether or not Takaba had been captured made no difference. If Arbatov wanted him dead he would likely be. Even with his protection Takaba's life was still at risk.

"Do we know where Yan Tsui is?"

"The last time we checked he was in Shanghai."

"Bring him in and make sure he doesn't get himself killed." Yan Tsui still had his uses. And like he said, he didn't like losing his pawn.

"What of Mikhail Arbatov?"

"Give him a name." Asami commanded. "Yan Tsui's new identity should be enough to save Takaba's life if the Russian played by the rules. It should take them some time to figure out where he is. Just make sure we get to him before they do."

 

***

One of the greatest things about the Tokyo Suite at Park Hyatt was its location. Being on the 50th floor and equipped with floor-to-ceiling windows offered a breathtaking view of Tokyo unparalleled to any other suites. Mikhail Arbatov stood next to the suite's baby grand piano, quietly watching the night sky of Tokyo with a glass of red wine in his hand. If only Fei Long were here that view would have been much more breathtaking. The wine in his glass would have tasted more exquisite. And he wouldn't have to wait for the goddamn phone call so agonizingly. It was 11pm and he was getting anxious. Either the boy really had no meaning to him or that arrogant prick just wanted to irritate him until the last minute. The problem was that he was so sure it was the latter, which infuriated him three times over.

Suddenly he heard a commotion from outside. Mikhail quickly drew his gun as he heard the door slammed open. _Great timing,_ he thought. At least he'd get to shoot at something for a quick relief. But what were his bodyguards doing? Why was there no shots fired?

"Mikhail!" A familiar voice sounded from the corridor.

Mikhail blinked a few times when he saw the unexpected guest. No wonder his bodyguards fired no shots. If they had he would have killed their whole family.

"Fei?" That had to be the first time Fei Long had visited him without notice. He would have been glad if only the person who walked in was his beautiful lover and not the furious Baishe leader who seemed like he was on a mission to whack somebody, and from the sound of it, most likely him.

"Yes, it's me, you bastard!" Fei Long cursed angrily. "You want to tell me what the fuck you're doing in Tokyo?"

When the usually polite and elegant Fei Long started swearing, that meant something went seriously wrong.

"I'm here for business?" Mikhail replied with a curious look on his face. He was still trying to figure out why Fei Long had come to him with that kind of temper. "What's going on?"

"Since when did you do business with Asami Ryuichi?"

The Russian had better give him a good explanation or the man was going to lose more than his teeth that night. He knew Mikhail didn't like the idea of him coming to Tokyo. But to go so far as to interfere and talk to Asami behind his back was beyond unacceptable.

Mikhail paused for a second to put the pieces together in his head. Fei Long must have found out about his meeting with Asami, which explained why he was mad enough to kill.

"Who told you?" At first he really wondered, but then it suddenly came to him, "Yoh?" Who else could have known so fast?

"Yes, Yoh. Do you have a problem with that?" It didn't matter who told him. But at that moment he also found it appropriate to get on Mikhail's nerve with that name.

"But of course, your very own loyal bodyguard." Mikhail said sarcastically with an increasingly irritated look on his face. He wondered if it was the work of the master or the underling to give Fei Long this information, knowing he'd come right over and gave him hell.

"What did you tell him?" Fei Long asked. His eyes grew fierce and intense, demanding that only the truth be told.

Realizing what Fei Long wanted to say, or rather, what he was trying to accuse him of, Mikhail found himself trembling uncontrollably with rage. Fei Long might as well stab him in the heart and get it over with for even thinking about it.

"You think I've ratted you out?" Mikhail said with a tone that sounded more like a confirmation rather than a question. His eyes grew sharp and intimidating like those of a wolf whose territory had just been invaded. To think that this was a part of Asami's revenge on him and that Fei Long had allowed himself to believe it made his blood boiled in his veins.

Taken aback by the unusual anger in those usually affectionate blue eyes, Fei Long found himself a little lost. He had come to Mikhail's suite the moment he had received the information. The first thing that came to his mind was that Mikhail had betrayed him, just like everyone else.

_But what if he didn't?_

"Why would you go to him?" Fei Long asked, his tone softened a little as guilt started to fill his heart.

Under normal circumstances he would have already backed down after seeing a trace of regret on that beautiful face. No matter how many times this man had hurt and wronged him, he'd never had the heart to strike back. For someone who had been through such a tragic past and betrayal, trust must have been something fragile and foolish. And while others may have chosen to run, to him, Fei Long was worth every wound.

But it had come to the point where he needed to move on or he would lose everything including Baishe. And if he had to force him to realize this then so be it. He was willing to take the consequences.

"Why don't you start by telling me what you're doing here?" Mikhail said firmly. It was about time Fei Long start trusting him a little, if not wholeheartedly.

"I don't have to tell you anything." He was the leader of Baishe, since when did he need to tell anybody about what he was going to do?

"Neither do I." Mikhail responded coldly. He had anticipated that kind of answer from the beginning. But it was worth a try.

For a moment there he felt a lump in his throat. Mikhail had never confronted him so bluntly nor had he ever been so cold. No matter how many walls he had put up around him, the man had always tried to break in. That day he just stood there as the distance between them grew, and watching it with a blank expression on his face.

"So that's how it's going to be?" Fei Long asked quietly. Perhaps finally, Mikhail had given up on them. "We go our separate ways?"

"I'm not the one who's running, Fei. You are." Mikhail replied. There was a future for them waiting just a step away. He had done all he could to make sure it would be there. But that step was for Fei Long to take, not his.

A sarcastic smile appeared on the beautiful face as he nodded slightly, acknowledging the situation that was being presented before him. He had pushed Mikhail away for many times, but when he'd finally succeeded, it actually hurt more than he thought. Much more. Even then when he knew he was about to lose the one thing that was good in his life, he still couldn't find the strength or courage to reach for it.

"I guess that's fair." Fei Long said quietly as he turned around and headed for the door. "Sorry for the intrusion."

He did mean it. After all, it was fair. But even so, with every step that was taking him further away from that room, he wished Mikhail would stop him.

"I don't know what you're trying to do with Asami." Fei Long said quietly as he opened the door to leave. That silky smooth voice sounded just like when they first met ñ when they were nothing but strangers, when Fei Long didn't care to even look at him from the corners of his eyes.

"It's my life, Mikhail. Don't interfere."

Mikhail stood in silence by the baby grand piano, watching the door closed after the elegant figure disappeared from his sight. His eyes lingered on the empty space before him where an image of his lover still remained, etched ever so clearly in his mind. For it might very well be the last time they spent together as lovers, if they ever were.

_"It's my life, Mikhail. Don't interfere."_

He closed his eyes and smiled a pitiful smile.

_Why can't you see it?_

_You are my life._

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

The apartment wasn't just small. It was tiny compared to his penthouse, or even his office. Everything about that space made him seem out of place. But strangely he felt at ease in that room. At ease, just sitting in a small chair next to the bed where the boy slept.

Asami lit himself a cigarette and ran his hand through his hair that was still somewhat of a mess from the previous night with the young photographer. How funny life was that with all the money and power he possessed, he ended up finding his peace in such a simple and ordinary thing. How ridiculous it was, that such a simple and ordinary thing had managed to become a substantial problem in the life he had always meticulously led.

Takaba Akihito was an ordinary boy. He was prettier than average, but still ordinary. He wasn't someone special enough for him to risk his business or life over, and still he found himself constantly putting them at risk, even more so lately. It was a bad idea to spend so much time with the boy, enough to make his enemies notice it as a weakness. It was unacceptable, that even after knowing so, he still didn't get rid of the problem. Instead he came here, to the boy's apartment, making sure that the boy was unharmed, seeking the peace of mind that was bound to tear down the empire he had so carefully built.

Whatever it was that made him act so foolishly had to be stopped before it was too late.

_Love is blind._

He couldn't afford to be blind. Not him. Not without putting his life or the boy's at risk.

His cell phone vibrated and stirred him from his thoughts. He took a glance at the name and stepped away into the kitchen, taking care not to wake up the photographer.

"Kirishima." He answered.

"We've found Liu Yan Tsui."

"Found?" Asami repeated. His order was to bring him in, not find. Something was wrong. Kirishima was the kind of man who gets right to the point, and that was why he became one of his two best subordinates, while the other, Suoh, doesn't talk, he executes.

"We found him at a house in Shanghai. A house registered under White Crane Corporation." Kirishima explained.

"Phillip Toh's?"

"Yes sir. And he's being heavily guarded. We can get to him but not without getting in conflict with the Toh."

"That, we shouldn't" Asami commented firmly. Someone must have tipped Phillip Toh about Yan Tsui for him to suddenly be taken in under their protection so suddenly - someone who might profit from their union. Considering the fact that Toh was an enemy of Fei Long, and Yan Tsui's goal was to take control of Baishe, that person, whoever it was, wanted Fei Long out of the picture. There was only one man he could think of who would fit the description all too perfectly.

"Do you think it was Mikhail Arbatov's doing?"

A scornful smile appeared on the elegantly chiseled face as golden eyes glowed knowingly. "No, not Mikhail." One thing he was sure of, that man would never harm Fei Long.

"But it's an Arbatov all right. That old snake still has his venom or so it seems." He couldn't help admiring the old man. It must have taken just one mole and a phone call to carry out his grand design. The man didn't even have to lift a finger. And chances were, that Mikhail might not even know what or who had hit him.

 

***

Macau

The door slammed open. Mikhail stepped quickly into the room and approached the snooker table where Alexei and Boris stood, looking at him with surprise on their faces. Mikhail had just left for Japan three days ago. No one had expected him to be back in Macau this quickly. And definitely not with that murderous look on his face.

One swift move of his palm slammed the face of his subordinate onto the snooker table, crushing it with the force that sent the man yelping in pain. Alexei instinctively stepped aside and watched quietly. Although he too had no clue what was going on, no one in their right mind would dare ask questions. At least not when Mikhail was that pissed.

"What did you tell him?" Mikhail asked, pushing the gun in his hand hard against the back of his subordinate's skull, ready to pull the trigger. He had gotten on a plane back to Macau as soon as he'd received a message from Dmitri, informing him, after an attempt to search for Liu Yan Tsui under his new identity given to him from Asami Ryuichi, that the man had been taken in by Phillip Toh.

"WÖWhat?" Boris stuttered, choking on the blood from the broken nose that was traveling down his throat. He was so sure he left no trail.

One click and the bullet went through Boris' left shoulder.

 _Wrong answer._ Alexei thought as he watched the man struggled to keep from crying out loud from the pain. Having been his right hand man for quite some time, Boris above all should have known better. Mikhail Arbatov shoots with no warning, especially not when he was in that kind of mood. Since nobody had busted his Lamborghinis lately, this time he figured it must be about Liu Fei Long.

"What did you tell him?" Mikhail repeated, now pointing his gun at the right shoulder. The fact that he wasn't yelling made Boris prayed for his life. When Mikhail seems that cold and reserved, it usually meant that he had snapped. And whenever he does, the Russian crime lord kills with no conscience.

"I told him you were going after Liu Yan Tsui." Boris answered quickly through gritted teeth, trying his best to focus and think quickly how much and what Mikhail already knew.

Another click and a bullet went through the other shoulder. Boris did answer. But hearing it just made him feel like shooting the man if only to relief his anger. That information could only leaked from a small circle of his trusted subordinates fiercely loyal to the family. Boris must have been listening to his conversations with Dmitri and told his father everything. He had made an unforgivable mistake of not taking care of Boris first, even after knowing what he had done in the past. And that pissed him off the most.

"What else?" Mikhail asked. "Remember, I can shoot the same place twice when you run out of limbs."

"...He knows about the deed." Boris confessed. At that point, keeping something from Mikhail was an act of suicide. He had been a trusted subordinate of Vladimir Arbatov for decades. But while the father wouldn't kill him over the matter, the son most likely wouldn't think twice if he had held back information.

"What deed?" Mikhail raised his brow in surprise. He didn't know there was any deed involved.

"The deed to the casino in Macau."

Suddenly, Mikhail jerked the wounded man up from the snooker table to face him. There was something ugly going on. Things seemed to be much more complicated than he had originally thought and he needed to hear it clearly.

"Explain." Mikhail demanded. That deed was something extremely important to Fei Long. He himself had proposed a more than profitable offer for it several times before and Fei had turned him down every single time without a second thought. If this deed was involved, he needed to know exactly what his father had in mind.

"According to Liu senior's will, it belongs to his heir, namely Liu Yan Tsui." Boris explained, pausing every now and then whenever the ripples of pain in his shoulders became overwhelming. "They are trying to get it back from Fei Long."

"They?"

"Yan Tsui and Toh."

At that point Boris didn't have to explain it any further for him to completely understand what it meant. Liu Yan Tsui may not be able to exercise his rights to that deed without reappearing in Hong Kong, in which case he would be prosecuted for the murder of Liu senior before he could ever made use of the deed. But being the rightful owner of that deed meant that he could transfer the deed to someone else at his consent. And while everyone wanted a piece of it, Phillip Toh's hatred for Fei Long gave him more cause than anyone else to buy that deed from Yan Tsui with enough money to free him from all his charges, and with Toh's backing, perhaps enough to take back the reigns of Baishe.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as Mikhail closed his eyes and leaned back against the nearby table, with one hand still gripping on his gun, and the other wrapping around his forehead in aggravation. As appalled as he was, he had to admit the ingenuity of his father's grand design. Without lifting a finger or spending a dime from his own pockets he might just be able to destroy Fei Long completely.

And it was him who was responsible for putting Fei Long in such position. Had he given up on them and not pursue further their relationship, all this would have never happened. As much as he wanted Fei Long back by his side, putting him at risk was not an option.

"You wouldn't have anything to do with this, would you?" Mikhail took a quick glance at his brother who had been watching quietly up until then.

"Do I fucking look like I have time for this shit?" Alexei replied without stopping to think of an answer. Ever since he had taken over Macau, the carefree life he'd always cherished had vanished into thin air. And even if he did have some time, Mikhail must be crazy to think he had spent it plotting something with his old man, especially against Fei Long. He wanted that man on his bed, not taken off his throne. And even though it seemed like he didn't care, his feelings for the beautiful dragon ran deeper than he would like.

The older brother considered it for a moment and made up his mind. That look on his face wasn't a lie. He knew Alexei better than anyone despite their occasional crashes and differences. While Alexei was more than capable of doing some unimaginable things, the man feared no one and therefore doesn't lie, at least not in a situation like this.

"Then get rid of him." Mikhail said bluntly as he tossed Alexei the gun in his hand. He needed an ally. And it was time for Alexei to pick a side.

Perfectly aware of what was asked of him, Alexei took a quick look at the gun in his hand and then looked back at Mikhail in question. "Are you ready to go to war with dad?" He asked as he reached into his pocket and lit himself a cigarette with his free hand. Picking a side wasn't a problem. He didn't want to see the beautiful Liu Fei Long fall from his throne any more than Mikhail did. But to kill his father's trusted subordinate like Boris was, in itself, a declaration of war.

"The war, Alexei," Mikhail replied, "has already begun." As far as he was concerned, he should have dealt with it a long time ago before things turned out this way.

"Well, if you're sure." The younger brother nodded in response and, without blinking, sent a bullet through Boris' head before the man could ever beg for his life. It certainly wasn't easy when he had known the man for over a decade, but Boris had it coming ever since he had tried to get rid of Fei Long from his brother's life. And what must be done had to be done.

"Now what?" Alexei asked, exhaling the smoke from his lungs with a heavy sigh. _Great. Now he has to replace his favorite snooker table._

"Find the rest. Get rid of them." Mikhail commanded. His baby blue eyes almost turned a terrifying white as he spoke. He had no room for anymore mistakes. Anyone who could be used by his father had to be eliminated before he made another move. It was a big expense, but one he had to execute.

"You, of course, plan to have a new right hand man to replace Boris?" Alexei asked. Boris wasn't someone easy to replace. The man understood what had to be done before he had to utter the words. The problem was, he understood and had done a little too much.

Mikhail looked at the dead body lying on the snooker table in front of him and took a deep breath. It was such a waste of a good subordinate. But he had no room for traitors. It had to be done even if the consequence gave him no choice but to do the one thing he would rather not do. "Call Yuri."

Alexei blinked twice. "Yuri?" That was a name he didn't expect to hear from Mikhail's mouth. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Dad would never use him." Mikhail said with an expression that was hard to read even for a brother he grew up with. His feelings were insignificant under the circumstances. The most important thing was to undo this mess without making it worse.

Alexei paused to observe his brother quietly. Yuri had been cut off from the family completely ever since the incident fifteen years ago involving the scars on Mikhail's back. The only reason he was still alive was because he was their mother's youngest brother. And while Mikhail seemed to have gotten over the issue a long time ago, just the thought of bringing Yuri back in made his stomach turn. No matter what their differences were, Mikhail was his only brother, and he couldn't help but despise Yuri for what he did. The question was, if he felt bad about dealing with Yuri again, how much more painful it must be for Mikhail?

"Are you sure about this?" He just had to ask. Yuri may be the only one they could trust under the circumstances, but how strong exactly was the man who was standing in front of him then?

"I don't have a choice." Mikhail replied without a change in expression. "It's been fifteen years, Alexei. I don't give a fuck anymore." It wasn't a completely a lie. It may not be something he could forget easily, but he had gotten through it a long time ago. Under no circumstances would he allow the past to dictate his life and decision. Especially not when Fei Long was in danger.

"Of course." Alexei nodded. If there was something he was still keeping in, Mikhail had managed to hide it completely. But he just had to wonder, "Does Fei Long even know what you're going through?"

For a moment there those blue eyes seemed a little dim as he walked out the door. It was just a whisper, one that might have been impossible to hear had the room not been in such deadly silence. But he did hear something just before Mikhail went through the door.

_He doesn't need to know._

***

Tokyo

It was late in the afternoon. Akihito was sitting leisurely in a coffee shop close to the location of his photo shoot, talking on the phone with his friends when a shadow casted over him.

"May I sit?" That smooth, silky voice almost made him spilled his coffee. "

It's been a long time, hasn't it? Do you remember me?" The man asked with a slight smile on his face as he sat down on the opposite side of the table.

He looked up and saw the one face he did not want to see. That perfectly oval face, delicate and feminine, adorned with what seemed to him the most striking amethyst eyes as sharp as a hawk's and as deep as the deepest layer of hell was something he could never forget even if he tried to.

The man appeared elegant and commanding the last time they met in Chinese clothing. But that day he was in a black suit, flawlessly tailored and pressed with his long black hair tied casually behind his back that made his strikingly elegant presence even more frighteningly cold. It was the kind of beauty that sent him shivering down his spine every time he laid his eyes on it. He had been in the presence of dangerous men too many times in his career and even Asami didn't scare him, but before this man he stuttered.

"F... Fei Long" Akihito replied, feeling his whole body trembled as he remembered what this man was capable of.

"Yes, Fei Long." He replied, his eyes glowed a terrifying violet as he spoke. "Are your two friends doing well?"

Akihito felt his blood froze in his veins as he realized the meaning behind those words. _It can't be,_ he thought, _Kou was still on the phone._

"Kou? Where are you right now?"

The answer from Kou confirmed his fear.

Long, delicate fingers reached out to touch his gently, and yet it felt like a sharp blade running down his skin. A simple touch brought back memories he didn't want to keep, but that wasn't the time for him to be scared. His friends were in danger.

"It's better if you don't say anything." The Chinese said casually. "You don't want to get them involved, do you?"

"You stay away from my friends." He warned. He didn't know what the other man wanted from him, but using his friends to get to him was something that filled his chest with anger.

Fei Long lifted his brow in surprise. Just seconds ago the boy was trembling at his presence but then those eyes suddenly grew fierce and aggressive over the mere mention of his friends. And instead of begging him for their lives, he responded with hostility, something he rarely sees when dealing with someone as innocent. He had to admit, the boy showed remarkable courage for his age considering that he wasn't brought up in the kind of world he lived in. Even when those eyes showed fear, they still held his without any intention of backing down. _A spirited boy,_ he thought, _but still just an ordinary boy._

What Asami saw in this boy he may never understand. But Asami did see something, and that something was enough for him to go through the trouble of getting the boy back from him. He wondered, with Takaba Akihito within his grip, if he could push the man far enough to come out and confront him once and for all. After seven years of doubts and questions that had been haunting him every single day, it was about time he got his answers.

He continued to threaten the boy for the data disc that had been stolen from him a few months ago. That data was important to him, but he admitted he was also using it as an excuse to make Asami come out into the open. Pressing Akihito to ask for that disc from Asami wasn't hard. The boy seemed to be willing to go the distance for his friends. But what he wanted to know was how much Takaba Akihito meant to him. Was he just a toy? Or was he much more?

"If you do this well," He offered the boy a promise, "you and I ... and Asami can settle our business with each other." It wasn't a lie. He didn't come here to start a war. He came to settle unfinished business. He came for a chance to move on.

"That's impossible for me." Akihito protested. Even if he had agreed to go to Asami, he still had no power to negotiate for that data. Fei Long must have been misinformed to think he held any value in Asami's eyes beyond someone he occasionally had sex with. There was no relationship, no bond beyond it. That fact Asami had always made it clear. And it was precisely the reason why he would never beg that man for anything if it were his life that was in danger.

"If you can't get the data that I want," The Chinese man rose from his seat and leaned forward to whisper in his ear the words that Akihito knew too well he was more than able to fulfill.

"I will kill your friends."

***

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

It was getting dark outside. Akihito wondered how long he had been sitting there fiddling with his cell phone, undecided whether he should or should not make the call. The Chinese man had left hours ago and still he couldn't make up his mind. It was his friends’ lives or his pride. The choice was obvious. But the execution was unbearable.

What would he say? How would he say it? Could he still live with himself after crawling back to Asami like this? It wouldn’t have been so difficult if they were lovers. But were they? Every once in a while they would meet, most of the time by chance. They would have sex, and then went on separate ways. He didn’t know the man outside the bedroom and Asami had taken no interest in knowing him beyond it. Their relationship, if existed, was kept simple. Not that it bothered him. He didn’t need a lover and he would prefer not to get involved in the world Asami lived in. Perhaps the man understood and kept his distance, or perhaps he just didn’t care enough to commit himself beyond it. It was the question that had been bothering him more and more lately. And this was his chance of finding his answers no matter what that answer may be. He wasn’t the kind of man who ran away from problems and he was at least man enough to take the truth, no matter how painful.

He took a deep breath and dialed the first name on his phone’s memory, smiling sarcastically to himself at how ironic it was, that the devil’s name happens to begin with an A, which automatically put him on top of everyone else on his list. And to him, Asami did seem to be on top of everything every time.

“A..Asami…” Akihito paused and swallowed hard the bile in his throat right along with his pride. He was about to beg a man who had been treating him like a convenient sex toy for something in exchange for his friends lives. It was hard, harder than having to live with the fact that he had countless of times allowed himself to be played with. But under the circumstances, what must be done must be done.

“Please, will you meet with me?”

***

Midnight.

Asami stood by the bed watching the boy he had just drugged with sleeping pills lying unconscious in front of him. Takaba had come to him begging for the data disk to save his friend’s lives from Fei Long and he had deliberately declined knowing that is was an empty threat and, naturally, his friends’ lives meant nothing to him. But as much as he wanted to overlook the matter, things were becoming a mess. He had never expected Fei Long to come back into his life quite this way, with Takaba caught in the middle. The boy was young, innocent, and naïve and was no match for someone in Fei Long’s position, not even back then. Had he allowed him to wander off Fei Long could easily use the boy against him.

 _Use the boy against him?_ Since when had he allowed himself to give this boy enough significance to be used against him? This ordinary boy had no place in his life nor could he have survived in it. And yet he had troubled himself to the point of drugging him in order to keep him safe. He was certain his interest in this boy didn’t go beyond sex that he had to admit was satisfying enough to keep him coming back for more. But why did he do all these things he would have never done before? Why was his life starting to revolve around this ordinary boy? And even then, all that was in his head was the thought of what had to be done to keep him from harm. Could it be love? Could he have become as stupid as Arbatov to be blinded by it?

 _No._ Asami quickly erased that thought from his mind. Takaba was nothing more than one of his possessions. And it was only natural that his ego would not allow him to watch his possession being snatched away. It was simply this, and nothing more.

He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. He had an appointment to keep and important business to attend to. But for a moment, Asami paused and took a glance back at the photographer. It was a newly acquired habit that had been irritating him lately and he had found no explanation to it. A man like him doesn’t look back or struggle with a decision he has already made. Yet a simple action of walking out of a room with Takaba in it was somehow and somewhat difficult.

A part of him simply wanted to stay.

***  
2 am. Park Hyatt Tokyo

“Put them in the guest room.” Fei Long commanded as he walked in the door of his presidential suite. He had given the boy a 4am deadline to meet him at the bar with the data disk from Asami. Since that phone call the boy had yet to show himself or pick up the phone. Yet his men had just informed him of Asami leaving the hotel and being on the move, to which he had ordered them to follow the yakuza. Things were going a bit different than he had planned and as a result they had brought his two friends back to the hotel, waiting for him to make further decisions. He should have just killed them both, but it wouldn’t serve him in anyway in terms of luring Asami out in the open. Besides, Takaba Akihito, being an ordinary boy, should not realize the fact that this had been a rather empty threat, and even if he did he shouldn’t be able to just sit around and do nothing. He had decided to wait a little longer.

Restless and tired, Fei Long walked past his bodyguards to the living room as they locked away the two hostages and poured himself a drink from the bar. With his condition he should get some sleep. But sleeping was something he hadn’t been able to do ever since he came to Tokyo. After seven long years of carrying this almost unbearable weight in his chest, he was about to confront the man who had put it there in the first place and get his answers. The decision to finish his business with Asami he had made with absolute certainty, but it would be a lie to say that he was ready for it.

He stood still by the floor to ceiling window that overlooked the night sky of Tokyo. Somewhere out there Asami was enjoying himself with the company of the young photographer. The sound of that boy crying from intense pleasure as he was taken by his lover had been ringing relentlessly in his ears ever since that phone call he made a few hours earlier. Asami must have known it was him calling the boy. Of course, he did. He could just see it right in front of his eyes. Everything from the smirk on Asami’s face as he made sure they were being heard, their naked bodies rubbing one another, that skin covering the masculine body he once felt with his own hands, fierce, golden eyes that once roamed over his body, and the taste of cigarette that somehow still lingered in his mouth, everything.

Until then he had never realized why there was so much anger in his heart when it comes to Asami. That night he finally understood. It wasn’t the deception. It had nothing to do with his father’s death. It was the fact that Asami didn’t really care, that he had been played with and that everything he had been made to believe was a lie that he could not swallow. He had been clinging to his own denial, to the false hope, that he hadn’t been rejected, once again, by someone he had given his heart to. And the unbearable turmoil in his heart that night was nothing but jealousy. After all this time, a part of him still belonged to Asami Ryuichi. It was the brutal truth that he had been trying to deny, for the acknowledgement was too painful for him to bear.

Fei Long poured himself another drink and walked over to the grand piano in the middle of the room. Long, delicate fingers landed randomly on the ivory keys as the sweet melody reminded him of another man in his life. He paused and looked at his reflection on the flawlessly polished instrument as his eyes caught the sparkling silver jewelry on his neck.

 _And what of Mikhail?_ Was he just Asami’s substitute? There was a bond between him and Mikhail that could not be broken. The rare comfort in Mikhail’s presence was undeniable, and the tranquility in his embrace no one else could provide. The Russian had no doubt become a significant part of his life that he didn’t want to lose. But was it love? Or was it just his selfishness that made him tried to keep the only man who had ever come close to loving him?

Fei Long laughed at himself sarcastically as he realized how pathetic he was to think of Mikhail at a time like this. He was in a pursuit of another man, and as a result Mikhail had slipped through his fingers. He doubted they would ever be the same from now. And he was sure of it that Mikhail’s attitude would change after hearing about his past. And it did. Mikhail did just stand there and watched him leave. It was only fair. He had been given a choice, and he had chosen to pursue Asami Ryuichi. But whatever happened or how much it hurt, it was time he faced Asami. More importantly, it was time he faced himself, his feelings, and his heart.

Fei Long finished his drink and glanced at his watch. It was almost 4 am. His men were still trying to figure out where Asami had gone since they had lost sight of his car. If only they were in Hong Kong Asami would have been delivered to him with a snap of his fingers. But he had no power in Japan, and Asami was its master.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds and opened them once he had reached a decision. He grabbed the gun he had left on the table before proceeding to the room where his captives were held. Deep, amethyst eyes looked down to the boys whose names he didn't bother remembering as his subordinates stood waiting for his orders. Fei Long pointed the gun to one of the boys’ head. They were useless now and he had other ways to get to Asami.

One look at their master’s eyes and the bodyguards knew they were going to have to clean up a big mess before dawn. Liu Fei Long executes with extreme precision and he does so without wasting his words. One of them was quick and wise enough to hand him a silencer. It would give them extra time to clean up before the cops were alerted due to the sound of gun shots.

Before he had pulled the trigger his cell phone rang. Fei Long decided to pick up the call before finishing his hostages off.

“Yes?” It was from his other group of subordinates. They had better have something for him.

“Fei Long sama, we have found the hotel where the boy is.”

Finally, some progress. The two boys were amazingly lucky…or not, depending on how the young photographer reacts from now on.

“Go to him and put him on the phone. I want to know where Asami is.” Now that he was certain about their intimacy, as long as he had the boy, Asami was in his hands.

***

The elevator opened on the 10th floor of the building. Asami stood motionless for a second as his eyes met the corpse of a man he had taken under protection just minutes ago before Fei Long’s men had turned up to hunt both of them down. He grounded his teeth without showing any other emotions other than the fire in his eyes that burned an intimidating gold flame. Chou was a valuable business partner, most of all this man had asked for his help in protection from Fei Long who was trying to get rid of him. While it was normal for Fei Long to try and hunt down this man, when under his protection and on his own territory, no one would dare order an attack unless they were looking for war. It had put not just a dent in his reputation, but Fei Long dared to intrude in his territory and spat on his face. It was unmistakably the man’s style. Even back then, the adopted son of the Baishe leader had always gone beyond straight business and let his emotions interfere. It was a wrong move, a serious mistake, and he would be there when he learns it.

“Find out where Fei Long is. And bring as many men as we have in the area. I want him captured and brought to me in two hours.” Asami commanded with a terrifying coldness in his tone. Fei Long didn’t just want the data, he wanted a war, and war there will be.

In less than an hour his men had found Baishe’s hideout in Tokyo and successfully raided the building, only to find that Fei Long had already left and all they had captured were a few of his men he had left behind. Surely that boy had grown into one sneaky snake. Fei Long must have known he would do this and evacuated just in time, but not before leaving some men to give them a false location of his whereabouts. He had underestimated the young leader of Baishe. Fei Long certainly has become one tough meat to chew.

Just when he was about to leave, Suoh stepped into the room where Fei Long’s men were being captured with the one boy he didn’t want to see at that place. Upon looking at Takaba’s guilt, ridden expression, he suddenly realized who it was that had given Fei Long the location of his meeting place with Chou. It was his own carelessness to not take the boy more seriously, thinking that he could not have done any damage.

“I was in Fei Long’s sight.” Akihito began his confession. He may have done a wrong or a stupid thing, but he was ready to take the consequence and make things right. “It was I who sold you out.”

Asami paused to look at the boy in front of him with eyes that clearly showed intense anger, eyes that could almost turned everyone in the room into stones faster than medusa could ever accomplish. If this was one of his men he would have been shot in the head without hesitation. But strangely all the anger in his chest at the moment had nothing to do with how to punish Takaba, instead it was due to the extreme irritation at how he himself had allowed things to go so wrong because of one ordinary boy. And it had gotten to the point that he must force himself to make a decision whether to abandon this boy altogether, or to start letting him into his life for him to be able to control the situation and consequently drag the boy into hell where he himself dwelled. A wise man would pick the first option without thinking twice.

Akihito held his breath as Asami grabbed his collar and pulled him up violently, forcing him to look directly into his eyes.

“This time you owe me a huge amount." Deep, dignifying voice growled at his seemingly tiny existence in comparison, "I no longer want to allow you your freedom anymore.”

He was at a loss for words when Asami pulled him up to a kiss, one that felt like he was about to be devoured whole by the devil himself.

It came to him as a surprise that he didn’t quite understand the words Asami said before their lips met.

_“Descend with me to the deepest layer of hell.”_

***

Toh residence, Shanghai

It was still early in the morning. The sky was clear enough to allow the rising sun to cast its ray on the trees and flowers that made up one of the most elaborate traditional Chinese garden in Shanghai, complete with a pond and bridges that connected the main building with the over water pavilion. In it stood a Chinese man in silvery grey cheongsam, gazing down to the crystal clear water of the pond underneath where a crowd of large, colorful carps gathered.

"They're hungry." A smooth yet commanding voice called from behind. Liu Yan Tzui turned his head slightly to see the master of the house standing at an arm's length behind him. Philip Toh appeared in a glamorous white cheongsam with a modern cut, his shoulder-length hair tied back neatly into a low ponytail showing a well refined face that was prettier than average. The man stepped forward and reached for the fish food pallets in a bowl made entirely of jade before sprinkling them over what seemed to be a rare collection of priceless, award-winning carps.

"Dzou San." Yan Tzui greeted with a slight and quick bow, just enough to acknowledge Toh as the master of the house but nothing more. Regardless of his present situation, he was, after all, a man of equal position.

"Good morning." Toh replied, wiping his fingers with a hot towel delivered promptly to him by the servants without so much as a gesture from the master. The staffs at Toh's residence were spotless in their manners and service, befitting the image of a perfectionist that everyone knew of their master.

Yan Tzui couldn't help but kept his eyes on the young man's gracious movements that reminded him of another, though Toh's was far less elegant and graceful than the man in his memory. While it was true that they both had some resemblance – the same flawless, porcelain-like skin, the luxurious straight hair as fine as silk, the fine features of his built, a face that was more 'pretty' than 'handsome' – yet Toh was in no way a match for the memory of the young boy in his mind. In such surroundings and after all the efforts Toh had made to appear Godly, the one person who would have fit flawlessly into the beautiful landscape wearing the most luxurious cheongsam as if they were created beautiful just to compliment his existence was none other but his brother.

"It is rude to stare." Toh turned towards him slightly as he spoke. His hawk-like eyes studied his guest's expression like a man with superior authority.

"You remind me a little of my brother." Yan Tzui replied, showing no fear or concern over Toh's effort to intimidate him.

"You mean 'my' brother." Toh argued with a calm and collected tone, looking at his guest from the corner of his eyes to catch any change of expression. Before this man can be used as a pawn, he must know the depth of their brotherly bond.

"If you regard him as such." Yan Tzui replied, locking his eyes with those of the man who would have been his enemy had he still ruled over Baishe.

Upon hearing it, a sarcastic smile appeared at the corner of Toh's mouth, one that almost turned him into an ugly man.

"Unfortunately my regard has nothing to do with it." Toh began with a cold and irritated tone filled with hatred and disgust. "For no matter what I do, that son of a whore whose existence had driven my mother into madness and taken my father's life managed to emerge and remain a pebble in my shoe."

It was nothing but the truth. Fei Long had been a curse to his family from birth. The day his father's secret mistress died during delivery, the baby had been brought to his father's feet to claim its place in his household. The truth of his father's adultery had driven his mother into madness that resulted in several suicidal attempts until the baby was taken away to be adopted by the Liu family. But his mother never recovered, and still after twenty-one years this baby who had grown into a young man had killed his father while he tried to take him back into the family. Fei Long was a curse, a damnation that should have never been born.

"So all this has been about revenge?" Yan Tzui asked without a change in expression. He would not give away his stand until the other revealed his true intentions.

"There are no rules that say you can't do business while getting revenge." Toh replied with a smile as cold and as vile as the devil himself, one that almost gave Yan Tzui second thoughts about dealing with the man.

"Define 'business'." The true heir to Liu's family's fortune demanded. Before they enter any form of alliance, he must be sure of his benefits.

Toh smiled cunningly before giving the servants a gesture signifying the need for privacy. Once they were alone he proceeded to the tea table and poured a round of kung fu cha that had been laid out for them in a spotless manner. And once more Yan Tzui couldn't help but recalled the memory of long, elegant fingers of his brother gracefully handling the tea pot and cups as if they were precious objects made for the emperor of China. Seeing Fei Long prepare ceremonial tea was a privilege only he and his father possessed. The simple but maddeningly beautiful movements had made his heart raced relentlessly for countless of times. Fei Long had always been his most valuable possession, one he still had no intention to let go.

"Once you've signed the casino deed over to me, I will provide the manpower and the money you need to take back Baishe." Toh began as he sipped his fine oolong tea. "Once Baishe is under your control we will form an alliance. All your trade routes must be shared."

Toh paused and took another tiny cup from the tray, eyeing the older man for any change in expression as he sipped his tea. "And you will deliver that bastard son of a whore to me on his knees."

The older man listened quietly as he reached for a teacup and brought it to his lips, sniffing the aroma of the fine tea before sipping the content quietly. Toh certainly knew how to do business. And he didn't mind the less than fair offer as long as he could resume control over Baishe. But there was just one problem.

"And if I don't?" Yan Tzui asked calmly.

"That depends." Toh replied thoughtfully. "Would you rather have me kill you or let you die?"

This time Yan Tzui laughed out loud. Toh must be out of his mind to think that kind of threat would work on him. If he didn't want Baishe back in his hands this bad this conversation would have never taken place even if he was being hunted down by all the world's mafia. It was never about saving his own life. It was the power and Fei Long that he craved.

"I will sign over the casino deed and you may share the routes." Yan Tzui declared with an unwavering tone. "But Fei Long remains mine or you may kill me and find other ways to get your revenge."

The answer had taken Toh by surprise. His brow was raised slightly as he tried to translate the meaning behind it. And then once he had realized the truth that failed to hide itself in Yan Tzui's eyes he couldn't help but laughed out loud to himself.

"He cast a spell on you too, didn't he?" The young leader asked amusingly even though he was so sure of the fact. Things were turning out better than he had originally thought and he could hardly believe his luck. How could he have overlooked such an important fact? Liu Fei Long wasn't just a brother to Yan Tzui.

How incredible. There they were, two men who both shared the position of Fei Long's brother and yet they both wished they were something else.

"Then by all means, keep him. And when you're done with him I shall have my turn." Toh agreed with a devious smile. There was nothing like a child witnessing its mother's repeated suicide attempt. For years he'd had to live with the horror of it all and the trauma that consumed his mind. The horrifying memory was still vivid in his mind. It would be too easy to kill Liu Fei Long. No. He would rather see him disgraced and lived as Yan Tzui's little bitch until hell seemed like a better place for him.

"Laoban." A servant approached his master from behind reluctantly and tore him away from his thoughts. "There is a man at the main gate asking for you, sir."

Toh waved his hand once in dismissal. "I'm not expecting any guest. Tell him to leave."

"But sir," The servant seemed most reluctant. "He said his name was Mikhail Arbatov."

Surprisingly, that name almost made the young boss jumped out of his seat.

"Are you sure?" Toh immediately stood up and confirmed the matter with his servant.

"That is what he said, sir." The servant replied. "He has blond curly hair and blue eyes and he does look Russian."  
ed  
Toh kept quiet and considered it for a second. It sure sounded like the man himself. Mikhail Arbatov was known to be ruthless in business, and he usually faced his opponent head on as opposed to running around doing it 'the hard way'. But even so, he had never expected to be approached this way or this quickly, and in his own house for that matter.

"Ask him to wait in the lotus room. I will be there in a few minutes."

 


	7. Chapter 7

Hong Kong

Fei Long lay quietly in his bed, listening to the sound of emptiness that filled the room, the sound he should have gotten used to by now that somehow still managed to have an effect on him. It almost seemed strange, being back here at Baishe where everything in his life appeared to remain exactly the same, even after all the mess that had happened in Tokyo.

Just when he had thought all efforts to get Asami to come out into the open had failed, an opportunity had presented itself when the boy who had gotten away from his grip had been stupid enough to return to him, forcing Asami to come to the rescue. Until then, he still hadnít had a clear picture of what happened and what went wrong. He hadn't gone to Japan to kill Asami, and yet when he had seen him and the boy together, he had pulled the trigger without hesitation. He had gone to Japan to settle unfinished business with the man, but all he had gotten out of it was yet another bullet wound from Asami.

That, and of course losing Mikhail. But perhaps it was something meant to be, something destined to fail that both of them had foolishly dragged out this far, even when they both knew it eventually would come to an end. All because neither of them wanted to let go. But it was time to do just that, no matter how painful.

It was time to let go.

Long, elegant fingers glided over the old scar on his chest as he immersed himself in his thoughts. How ironic it was that after all he had tried to accomplish, he had ended up right back where he was at the beginning, without discovering his own feelings or Asami's, or even the truth about his past. How pathetic it was that he had always understood the risks all too well and yet he had dove right into it that way.

And then it occurred to him that he hadn't exactly come back empty-handed. He had brought back with him a boy who belonged to Asami. A boy who, if proven to be more than a favorite toy to that man, would give him exactly what he needed-the upper hand. He wondered what Asami saw in that boy. How far would Asami be willing to risk himself to get him back? How would Asami react if his favorite toy was found tainted by another man?

Reaching over with his uninjured arm, Fei Long pressed the button on the intercom near the bed.

"Yoh, bring me that Japanese boy."

Asami had cost him nearly everything, including Mikhail. He wasn't going to stop at this. Not until he got Asami where he wanted.

***

The door to Akihito's confinement was made entirely out of steel. It was one of those rooms Baishe used to lock up captured spies and hostages, among other things that went on there that only a small group of trusted men was allowed to see. While Yoh had carried out many of Fei Long's direct orders in these rooms, this time, the task placed in his responsibility was one he wished to God he didn't have to take. Whether Fei Long had chosen him specifically because he was suspected of something, or simply because he was the most trusted bodyguard, was beyond him. But in either case, he still found himself between a rock and a hard place.

Yoh stood in silence in front of the door. Behind it was the boy who would decide his fate, the one boy who could destroy all that he had built for seven years and could endanger the two men who mattered more to him than his own life-one being the man who had his complete loyalty and admiration, the other who possessed all his heart. By helping Fei Long keep this boy, he would be betraying his boss, but most of all, he would be betraying his own principles, he would be betraying himself. So what if he were to help the boy escape? He would most likely lose his life if Fei Long found out, and that would be the end of his misery, but not Fei Long's. Even if he knew his feelings would never be answered in this lifetime, how could he betray the one man he would gladly die to protect?

It wasn't as if he didn't know there would eventually come a time when his involvement with Fei Long would come to an end. But he had hoped it would be a good ending, knowing that Asami hadn't sent him out of hostility, but rather out of responsibility and concern. Now that the situation had turned, what would he do?

He took a deep breath before reaching out to unlock the door. His blank expression never changed; he had been trained far too well as a spy. Only then his hand shook a little. Had Fei Long been present, those keen eyes would have seen through Yoh in a second. Sensitivity was both Fei Long's strong and weak point, but that was why everyone who had ever been close to him found it difficult to leave his side. To Yoh, it was more than difficult. Leaving Fei Long was an impossibility, so was having his feelings returned.

"Get up," he said to the boy. "The boss wants to see you."

***

It was anger that filled Akihito's head when he first reached Fei Long's bedroom, anger that was quickly replaced with fear when those fierce amethyst eyes looked at him as if he was the most pathetic prey that Fei Long had ever come upon. It took just a few easily executable threats from Fei Long to make him realize whom he was dealing with and what kind of world Asami and the Chinese man lived in. He had no place in their world. Every survival skill he had ever learned seemed useless in this man's grip. For the first time in his life, his freedom had truly been taken away. Here in Hong Kong, he had become nothing more than an insignificant pawn being played by a powerful man to get back at his enemy. At least that was what he believed Asami and Fei Long were at the time - enemies. Little did he know that things were much more complicated than they seemed. Far more.

"Try to please me and put me in a good mood," Fei Long said, reaching his hand over to touch Akihito's lips suggestively. "You know what to do, don't you?"

_You know what to do, don't you?_

Sure he did. It was obvious what the man thought he was-some guy Asami used to please him in bed. In their presence, he couldn't have seemed like anything more. But no matter how much he wanted to deny it, he wasn't sure he could say that with confidence. The truth of the matter was that Asami never demanded anything from him but sex, nor was he allowed even a glimpse of the world Asami lived in. How could he blame anyone for seeing him that way, when he himself didn't seem to mind being treated as such?

But Asami had come to save him.

Or had he? Perhaps Asami had just come back to settle things with Fei Long. Perhaps it was just because of Asami's ego. Perhaps Asami might realize it was too much of a risk to confront Fei Long over a sex toy and decided to leave him here, forever locked up in a cage like some animal, being allowed to live as long as Fei Long still found a use for him.

Akihito lowered his head as demanded and took Fei Long's cock in his mouth obediently. There was no use going against this man who could have given him a fate far worse than death with just a snap of his fingers. At least Fei Long was decent, as opposed to some filthy Chinese pervert looking for a sex toy to abuse like an animal. It didn't take an expert to see that everything being done to him wasn't really sexual abuse; it was all a way to get back at Asami. Fei Long didn't even want sex, nor did he show the slightest trace of pleasure. There was never lust in those eyes. All Akihito saw there was pain, anger, and more pain. The Japanese boy may have been the one being abused, but it seemed Fei Long abused himself just as much in doing it, if not more.

 _What had he gotten himself into?_ Akihito wondered.

But one thing was clear in Akihito's mind. No matter what happened and how pride-swallowing his situation was, he would never allow himself to break. That was the last remnant of pride that he intended to hold on to. Asami could never break him, nor could Fei Long.

***

Toh Residence, Shanghai

'The Lotus Room was the Toh residence's most elaborate space, where only the most distinguished guests were allowed to enter. Every piece of priceless furniture and decoration in this room had been passed down in the family for generations, with some of the items easily qualifying as national treasures. Philip Toh was especially proud of this room, especially after he had renovated it by adding accents of gold and precious gems to the tiniest details.

The double ancient Chinese-style doors were opened for him by his guards. Toh walked in with his arms behind his back and his chin lifted proudly. A tall, masculine figure stood waiting in front of the window, looking out to the garden below. It took just one glimpse from behind for him to realize it really was Mikhail Arbatov himself. Quite like Fei Long, the Russian mafia leader had a presence about him that was hard to forget.

"You caught me by surprise." Toh nodded slightly as his guest turned to face him.

Mikhail Arbatov had turned up in a pair of jeans and a leather jacket over a plain v-neck t-shirt. It wasn't an ordinary sight for Toh, who had only seen the man during business dealings, but what seemed even more out of the ordinary was the obvious exhaustion displayed in Mikhail's expression. His playful and energetic looks were replaced by fatigue and what seemed to Toh to be intense irritation. Something serious must have happened to be able to drive a man like Arbatov into such a state.

"I want Liu Yan Tsui. Name your price," Mikhail said in a tone that matched his look all too perfectly. He had no time to waste, especially to be chatting about nonsense with the likes of Philip Toh.

"Straight to business, as usual?" commented the man of the house. Somebody must have tipped Mikhail off about Liu Yan Tsui. Toh should have known. No one else could have messed up a man like Arbatov quite like Fei Long. Like mother, like son, indeed.

"Your price," Mikhail repeated impatiently. All he wanted was to get things done and leave. Considering their positions, Phillip Toh's home was the last place he wanted to be. But dealing with Toh directly would get things done quicker, even though it might cost an arm and a leg.

"What makes you think I have him?" Toh replied casually, his hawk-like eyes never leaving the other man's.

"I don't have time for bullshit, Toh."

"I'm sure you do." A cunning smile appeared at the corner of the triad leader's mouth as he pushed back the long sleeve of his cheongsam and poured a round of tea. "This 'bullshit' happens to concern your precious Fei Long, and therefore it's a delicate matter. Take a seat, have some tea."

Mikhail stood still for a moment and told himself to remain reasonable. It was nauseating to see how much the man resembled Fei Long in so many features and see him ruin it completely by overdoing everything. The same gestures that would have looked breathtakingly elegant and dignified had they been performed by Fei Long, appeared fake and almost disgusting being done by Toh. Even that white, priceless cheongsam looked plain and common, when it would have stopped traffic being worn by his half-brother.

"I don't drink tea," Mikhail said as he sat down on the chair near the tea table that was too richly decorated, in his opinion, so it ruined the atmosphere of what could have been a wonderfully subtle and elegant room (like Fei's personal study). Despite Toh's hatred of his half-brother, at times, it almost appeared as if everything he did was out of envy.

"Except for tea made by _him_?" Toh snapped in an expressionless tone, yet his eyes showed hostility loud and clear.

"This has nothing to do with my personal life. But yes, I only drink Fei Long's tea," Mikhail replied in an increasingly disturbed tone. He just couldn't see why the man had to bring up the issue. He didn't really like tea, but joining Fei Long over a round of impeccably brewed tea was always a memorable experience that he would never miss.  
Toh smiled quietly and took a sip of his tea.

A man of Mikhail Arbatov's confidence was certainly rare. Not every man would declare his love so openly in front of another, for fear of losing face, and yet this man was more than capable of saying such things and making it appear honorable rather than embarrassing. But how much exactly would he sacrifice for it?

_How far would you go for love, Mikhail Arbatov?_

"I assure you, it is a very personal issue. Starting from a very personal phone call from your father, asking me personally to get him out of your life. And coincidently, I happen to have a personal issue with Fei Long-serious enough to want him dethroned and preferably dead. You see? The business part of it is miniscule," Toh explained with a devious look in his eyes. One didn't need to know the whole story to tell that his dedication for revenge was more than strong. It was unshakable.

"Every man has his price. I'm sure there must be something I can buy you off with," Mikhail continued. Maybe it wasn't true in every case, but it didn't hurt to try.

Leaning back in his chair, Toh looked straight back at his guest quietly for a moment as he deliberated on the issue. It was certainly an offer he should consider-being in the position to demand pretty much anything he wanted, especially when the man in front of him had more than enough to afford it. And perhaps his revenge could be carried out a bit differently.

"Your share of the casino deed in Macau, in place of Fei Long's," The Chinese man demanded as he rose from his chair and approached his guest. "And then there's something else you must do."

"Which is?"

Tracing his fingers over the line of the other man's shoulder, Toh leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You will leave Fei Long and come to me."

A look of both shock and disbelief appeared on Mikhail's face as he stood up and turned to move away from the unnecessary contact that was beginning to make his stomach turn. That second request indeed caught him by surprise, to the point that he didn't quite know how to respond.

"Fei Long WILL lose something-Baishe to his sick brother, or the man he loves to his enemy." In truth, Toh wouldn't mind the latter. The Russian had caught his interest the first time they had met, and it infuriated him even more to know that Fei Long had already snatched him, even before Toh could make his move. Just like his mother, that son of a whore did know how to bewitch a man.

To his surprise, Mikhail simply laughed out loud.

"The casino deed isn't a problem, and I might even consider fucking you if that helps, but you're talking to the wrong man if revenge is what you're after."

"Excuse me?" Toh asked curiously. He was sure nothing was wrong with his information up until that point.

"Fei Long has walked out on me. He wouldn't feel shit, even if I fucked you in his bedroom," Mikhail explained with a rather sarcastic smirk. But there was truth in his blue eyes that dimmed a little as he spoke. "Go to Asami Ryuichi. Fei Long has been obsessed with that man for nearly a decade. If you want to really get to him in that department, it'll be through that man. Now, is there anything else I can do for you, besides transferring the deed?"

This information was certainly new to Toh. He had heard of the Japanese yakuza and understood him to have something to do with Liu senior's death. But he never thought there could be a relationship between Asami and Fei Long so cleverly hidden in that messed-up past.

"Why should I believe you?" After all, this man loved Fei Long enough to give up a fortune-too much of a fortune and all too easily.

"Because I love Fei Long, and that makes Asami a pebble in my shoe," The Russian replied with a cold and calculating smile on his face, one that showed off the darker side of his personality. "I'm not exactly a saint." That, he surely wasn't. For while he would do anything for Fei Long, he would also do anything to get what he wanted. Besides, that bastard deserved some trouble thrown his way just for making everyone's life so damn difficult.

"Check Asami out if you want. After all, he's also the man who killed your father," Mikhail added.

That piece of information made Toh retreat into dead silence for a few minutes. And even though it seemed he wasn't fully convinced, it sure had an effect on the man. Things may have turned out better than Mikhail had expected. And Philip Toh might also prove to be useful just because of his motives.

"Think about my offer and let me know," Mikhail concluded as he headed for the door. His business was done. Now he only had to wait for the answer.

 _Asami Ryuichi?_ Toh thought to himself. _The man who really matters to Fei Long?_

"I wouldn't be so sure." Toh stopped him with a tug on his sleeve, and before Mikhail knew it, the Chinese man had yanked him down by the collar and forced him into a kiss. In a mixture of rage and disgust, Mikhail violently hurled him away against the wall. If only he hadn't had to leave his gun outside, the pompous prick would have been dead.

"Down payment, Arbatov," An ugly grin appeared on Toh's face as he spoke, his eyes directing Mikhail's to the small video camera on the ceiling. "Let's see how Fei Long likes that, shall we?"

 

***

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

By the time Mikhail walked through the front gate, it had already begun to rain. The sky flashed once, followed by thunder as intense as the anger in his heart. It was one of those times when nothing seemed to go the way he wanted, when enemies appeared out of nowhere without warning, forcing him to give up the one last card he had yet to play. It wasn't a problem, except that one last card could mean losing Fei Long forever. And to him, Fei Long was everything.

A sleek, black BMW Z4 pulled up in front of the gate. Mikhail took a glance at the driver and stepped into the roadster quietly. By then, he was soaking wet from head to toe. He didn't really care. It was better than waiting in the house of that pompous prick anyway.

"This is your idea of an ordinary ride?" Mikhail complained in an irritated voice without looking at the man behind the wheel. He was sure he mentioned not wanting his meeting with Toh to be known to the general public, at least not so obviously.

"It's black," Alexei shrugged. "If you're so worried, you can call yourself a cab," he added with a mischievous smirk and a raised eyebrow, an expression that had long enabled him to irritate his older brother to his heart's content ever since they were young.

To Alexei's surprise, Mikhail responded with a deafening silence, a warning sign that told him the man wasn't in the mood to be messed with. Something definitely had gone wrong in that house.

"So what did he say?" Alexei asked, this time in a more serious tone. He couldn't help wondering what Toh could have said or done to put his brother in such a dreadful mood.

"He wants our share of the deed," Mikhail replied. "And something else I can’t give."

It was definitely something he couldn't give. Regardless of what he had said in that room, what Toh asked for was out of the question. He would have done anything to avoid that end. Fei Long had already been hurt and betrayed too many times, and by nearly everyone he had ever been close to. If Fei Long had to go through one more hurt and betrayal, it would not be from him.

"The way I see it, you can't really give him any of those things. Macau is mine; so is the deed," Alexei interrupted.

Mikhail turned around and gave his brother a look that made Alexei wish he had never said those words.

"Macau is yours because I gave it to you. As head of the family, I can take it away just as easily," Mikhail replied with a calm yet intimidating tone. Brotherhood aside, Alexei should know his place in the family.

"Besides, you owe me, Alyosha,"

The playfulness on Alexei's face suddenly vanished the moment Mikhail spoke that name.

_Alyosha._

He knew exactly what it meant. Ever since that incident nearly fifteen years ago, Mikhail had never called him by that name. Hearing it again brought back memories that used to give him nightmares for years, even without the scars to remind him of it, like his brother's. For Mikhail to bring it up meant he must have been desperate enough to press the issue with him. If that were the case, then he could never turn down anything Mikhail asked of him.

"You knew if you brought that up, I'd do anything for you," Alexei said with guilt clearly noticeable in his tone. The memory of that night more than a decade ago was still fresh in his mind, perhaps even more so than in Mikhail's, who had taken it all upon himself in his brother’s place. "I only wish you'd ask me before you decide to take what's mine and give it away, especially when it's a business that brings in the majority of my income."  
At the end of that statement, Mikhail turned around and looked at him with eyes that seemed to condemn him to the deepest layer of hell. It seemed Alexei had forgotten something of great importance – something for which Mikhail had every right to demand something in return for the damage it had caused.

"You didn't ask me before you slept with him," Mikhail said with a low, terrifying voice, making sure every word would pierce through the other's skin and leave a mark. "Fei Long is my life."

It wasn't until then that Alexei understood what he had done. From the outside, his brother had always appeared unbreakable. In truth, he may have been made of broken pieces held together by a very strong will to live. Mikhail had never forgotten what Alexei did, and most likely, he never would.

"I didn't know," Alexei admitted quietly. He had assumed Fei Long was just a fling and that Mikhail would soon forget and move on, the way he had always done in the past when they quarreled over a toy. It had slipped his mind that Fei Long was no toy. Not even to him, and definitely not to Mikhail.

"I know you didn't," Mikhail replied. No matter how much of a brat Alexei was, Mikhail knew he would never intentionally cross the line. Even though what happened fifteen years ago wasn't Alexei’s fault, Mikhail could tell that he had felt responsible for it, which was also why Alexei had always tried to appear uninterested in the family's business – to make sure the power went to his brother unconditionally. It was his way of paying back for the damage. For that reason, Mikhail had always been willing to put up with Alexei's unpleasant behavior.

"Anyway, have you contacted Yuri?" Mikhail asked, trying to shake the irrelevant thoughts out of his head and focus on the issue at hand.

"He should be on his way to Macau."

"You think you can handle him?"

"What do you mean, ‘handle him’? Where are you going?"

"Moscow. There are things I have to deal with. But don't worry. Yuri likes innocent boys. You're now way too old, not to mention totally lacking in innocence," Mikhail teased with a playful grin. In truth, he was sure at that point in his life, Alexei could handle anyone. On the contrary, it was Yuri who should be careful.

"Of course, you, being OLDER and even less innocent, have much less to worry about," the man behind the wheel snapped back.

"Are you going to shut up and drive, or shall I throw your ass onto the street?"

Alexei laughed. He was rather glad to hear Mikhail talk in that manner. Perhaps Mikhail had already gotten over it – either that, or his brother was exceptionally good at hiding his emotions.

"Well, you'd better come back soon before I run out of patience and whack that old fart for good," Alexei warned jokingly. But the truth was he would have done it without a second thought if it were up to him.

"Anyway, you can't go to Moscow yet. Fei Long just got back to Hong Kong. You should go pay him a visit. He got shot, you know?" Alexei said casually. He had been keeping the news to himself for a few days. But it was about time to tell Mikhail.

One thing he knew, no force on earth or in heaven could have stopped the man from going back to Hong Kong immediately, least of all whatever business he had to deal with in Moscow. Mikhail Arbatov's most serious weakness was none other but Liu Fei Long of Baishe. And Alexei was right. At that moment, his brother's face turned nearly white.

"Why didn't you tell me before? Turn the car around right now and take me to the airport."

***

Hong Kong

The chime of the elevator prompted the bodyguards to reach for their guns. The top floor of the building was their master's private space. All who entered had to be screened and given permission by Liu Fei Long himself. That day, no guest had been given such permission.

Mikhail raised a brow in surprise as he stepped out to find every piece of weaponry in the corridor pointing at him. He had been given the privilege to go in and out of Baishe at will for some time. Whether it was a misunderstanding or there was a change of protocol, it definitely pissed him off.

"Get out of my way." Mikhail proceeded down the corridor without paying attention to the guns pointing at him from all directions. He didn't come all the way to Hong Kong on a bloody commercial flight to be stopped by these idiots.

"You no longer have clearance, Mikhail Arbatov," a familiar voice sounded from behind him.  
Mikhail turned around and found Yoh standing in the middle of the hallway with a look on his face that showed he wasn't joking. And then it dawned on him that all the commotion had been no mistake. If Yoh, who reported directly to Fei Long, was in on it, there could be no mistake.

"Says who?" Mikhail asked, looking straight into the other's eyes, waiting for the answer he already knew in his heart to be confirmed.

"Fei Long-sama no longer allows you to visit unofficially. I'm afraid you will have to make appointments," Yoh replied with his usual expressionless face. He didn't quite understand the reasons behind such an order. But ever since Fei Long had come back from Japan, he had made it clear that Mikhail Arbatov was not to be granted entrance to his private quarters. Despite everyone's belief that their relationship must have broken off in a bad way, Yoh had been with Fei Long long enough to know there was more to it underneath that cold expression of his master.

"Well, you're just going to have to shoot me," Mikhail said, irritated, and forced his way down the hall. He knew no one there would dare shoot him. Unless, of course, if Fei Long had wanted him dead. In which case, there would be no point in living anyway.

Whether it was because Fei Long had already had a change of heart, or he had rediscovered the boy he had been in the past whose heart had been stolen by that Japanese man now somewhere in Tokyo – in Mikhail's mind, it hadn't changed anything. For whatever reason, it would be a lie to say he hadn't seen it coming right from the start. Although he had no intention to give up on Fei Long, the most important thing at the moment was to make sure the man he loved was safe and secure. Their relationship would have to wait until all things had been sorted out.

Mikhail pushed the door open and found Fei Long sitting on his favorite chair surrounded by his subordinates waiting to be given orders. In his hands were documents of some kind that showed he had been working. Mikhail sighed in relief. The man, who he had come to see in a hurry, looked well. It was all he needed to know.

***

The sound from the door made Akihito jump from the bed. No matter how many times Fei Long had sent his bodyguard to fetch him, he still couldn't get used to it. Akihito had been called to Fei Long's room at least once a day to satisfy the triad leader's need. Ironically, he had yet to see satisfaction on Fei Long's face. They weren't even having sex. His kidnapper had never engaged himself in the act beyond ordering him around. Sometimes it seemed Fei Long had simply wanted a relief from stress or to keep his mind occupied. Other times, Akihito was sure the man had done it out of spite. Sexual activities with Fei Long weren't disgusting – they were suffocating and depressing, and he dreaded it even more than being raped by Asami for the first time.

Yoh came into the room and unlocked the chains around Akihito’s ankles and wrists. Fei Long's personal bodyguard didn't speak much, nor did his expression ever change. Apart from that little boy, Baishe was full of depressing people with a lot to hide, with everyone secretly counting down to the day it would all explode. Even someone who had been trapped in a room with nothing but empty walls, like him, could feel the pressure in the air.

"Hurry up. The boss is waiting," Yoh said with his usual emotionless tone that matched his facial expression perfectly. In Akihito's opinion, the man was just like his master. Together, they made the world seem like a dreadful place to live in.

Akihito followed quietly without protest. It wasn't as if he had a choice. Escaping the place was near impossible anyway. He paused and took a deep breath as he approached the door to Fei Long's bedroom, preparing for the suffocating atmosphere that always filled the man's surroundings. Liu Fei Long was too intimidating, cold, and reserved for Akihito to ever feel at ease in his presence.

"Does he ever enjoy anything?" Akihito turned around and asked the man who he believed knew the answer. Just the knowledge that there existed some part of Fei Long that was human would have helped.

"It's none of your business. Get in," Yoh quickly brushed him aside. It was better to not let the boy get emotionally involved with Fei Long and cause even more complications than there already were. Not that Yoh was convinced it could be prevented. He just had to look in the mirror to see a good example of such failure. Even the seemingly heartless Asami Ryuichi himself had failed and was paying heavily for the mistake. Like an extremely potent pheromone, something about Fei Long drew in even the most disciplined men on the planet. For all Yoh knew, the whole damn organization was emotionally involved with Fei Long. And sadly, the result was turning out to be more unfortunate than good.

As soon as Akihito walked through the door, the pungent smell of opium reached his nose. Whenever he was called to the boss's room, Fei Long would be waiting for him with a hash pipe in his hand. His deep amethyst eyes would be staring into empty space, while his mind was seemingly occupied with something or someone in the distance. They say opium makes the pain go away and produces relaxation. The way Akihito saw it, the triad leader must have been abusing the substance long enough to have developed a considerable level of tolerance. “Relax” was hardly the appropriate word to describe Fei Long’s state of mind. It seemed all the drug did was allow the man to drown in his thoughts without feeling too much pain.

Fei Long called for him to proceed toward the bed and parted his own robe, a gesture that told Akihito to try and please him with his mouth. The boy had never quite understood the point of making him carry out the act when the man on the receiving end had always appeared indifferent. But that day, the hash pipe landed on Akihito’s head, and Fei Long, for the first time, complained about the boy’s lack of skills. Akihito recalled the commotion outside of his room that morning. Perhaps something or someone had affected Fei Long in a way that made him decide to seek pleasure.

Fei Long put a blindfold on him and told him to try harder. It was the first time the man had told him what to do and engaged himself in it. With the blindfold, the act became more real and sickening. But then he heard Fei Long whimper. The blindfold loosened, and Akihito's heart raced as he saw the man, who was being pleasured, tremble and moan in front of him. Even if those amethyst eyes were closed and Akihito knew the image in Fei Long's mind wasn't him, the boy’s body readily responded to what had to be the most erotic sight he had ever seen. When the cold and cruel mask that Fei Long wore would break apart, he was indescribably beautiful.

Akihito cried out a little as the other man's hand closed tighter on his hair and the body underneath him jerked a little. As Fei Long came in his mouth, Akihito thought he heard a name from the triad leader's lips. Even though he didn't quite catch the name, he was certain it wasn't Asami's. No, there was someone else who had once given Fei Long that pleasure. And perhaps if that man had still been there, things may have turned out a bit differently. But Fei Long quickly composed himself and shook away whatever thought he had in mind. Akihito could almost see the man biting his lips for whatever illusion he just had.

That day, Fei Long had asked him a question about Asami that would later become a wound in Akihito’s heart for years to come. The boy could hardly tell if the question was asked out of jealousy or curiosity, or if it was the question for which Fei Long had been seeking an answer for himself after all this time. It was also one that Akihito himself could not answer.

"Has he said he loves you?"

For once, even though they hadn't spoken it out loud, both of them knew the answer to that question all too well.

***

Arbatov Villa, Macau

Mikhail loosened his tie and placed his suit jacket on the bar before pouring himself a drink. Having no sleep for the past thirty hours had drained him of all energy. And yet there were things to be done, not to mention that he had to leave for Moscow as soon as possible.

"Man, you look like shit," Alexei commented as he stepped into the room and found his usually energetic brother looking like he had just been through a war. Alexei had arrived in Macau in the afternoon and discovered that Mikhail had gone straight to Baishe without stopping by the house first. Which explained why the man had seemed so exhausted.

"I do feel like shit," Mikhail replied with a heavy sigh, raking his hand through his hair that was already somewhat of a mess. "Is he here?"

"I've already told Yuri to come and see me here. I'll handle this. You get some sleep," Alexei explained. He didn't think it was a good idea for the two of them to meet when Mikhail was in this state of exhaustion.

"Just get the plane ready for me after this. I'll sleep later," Mikhail brushed his brother's concern aside. He might as well stay a while longer to make sure everything went smoothly. To him, Yuri wasn't a problem. Not anymore, anyway.

Just moments later, the man they both hadn't seen for fifteen years walked into the room. Mikhail took a glance at him and lit himself a cigarette. It may have been a normal gesture for any other man, but for those who knew him, Mikhail smoking a cigarette meant something was bothering him greatly, regardless of what he was willing to show. That reaction alone made Alexei hold his breath as he silently observed the tension in that room, hoping that the nightmares they had experienced a decade ago would not return.

Yuri hadn't changed much, except for the lines on his face that displayed the evidence of age. His appearance showed he was in the same line of work as before, even now after being banished completely from the family. The old man stood proudly in the middle of the room, looking straight at Mikhail in the eyes, without a trace of shame or regret.

"Good afternoon, uncle," Mikhail greeted the man he once considered family, casual and unaffected. "Of course, you do remember me and Alexei?"

"I almost didn't. You were just boys the last time I saw you," Yuri replied. While Alexei had grown into the adult version of that pretty boy, Mikhail, however, had become a man that Yuri would never have imagined the same boy fifteen years ago could have possibly grown into. Back then, the first born of the Arbatov family was a nuisance – a true troublemaker who was incredibly stubborn and strong-willed to a fault – making him the family's failure in everyone's eyes because of his uncontrollable behavior and his tendencies to break every rule in his path. Mikhail Arbatov as a man in his early thirties, although still playful in appearance, seemed to be a man of great control and power, with a presence that intimidated all in his path. It appeared that the rumors Yuri had heard about his nephew were true after all.

But the first thing Yuri had to make clear was something else.

"How is Vladimir?"

"He doesn't know you're here, if that's what you're asking," Mikhail replied bluntly. The first thing the old man wanted to know was whether or not he was out of danger. It was a perfect chance for Mikhail to make it clear that should his father find out that Yuri had come back anywhere near the family, the man would most likely be made to pay for what he had done.

"So this has been your call?"

"I am now the head of the family. Everything is my call," Mikhail confirmed, making sure the other man understood the meaning behind it clearly. "You will be working directly for me. If you don't have a problem with it."

"It's not a problem," Yuri replied after a moment of silence. Getting back into the family had been his first priority. And since Mikhail seemed to have no problem with him anymore, working under his own nephew wasn't a problem.

"Then it's settled," Mikhail said and poured himself another drink. "I'm in a hurry. So I'll get right to the point."  
"I'm listening."

"I want Baishe's part of the deed to the casino in Macau," Mikhail began. A man in Yuri's line of work needed no introduction to the matter. Yuri's background and experience had made him a useful ally who could get to work quickly. "The true owner of that deed, by law, is Liu Yan Tzui. He is being held captive by Phillip Toh. Find and kill him."

Yuri nodded. It was the usual task he had done countless times – locate and kill.

"Meanwhile, get your men to infiltrate Baishe and steal that deed," Mikhail continued.

"That shouldn't be too hard," Yuri confirmed with a grin. He had heard that the head of Baishe was just a young man with a pretty face. With the right way in, the job should be a walk in the park.

"While I'm away, you will report to Alexei, who has control over all business in Macau. Anything you need to know for the job, ask Nikolai."

"Nikolai?" Yuri repeated to make sure he had heard correctly. Nikolai had always been a lower ranking subordinate working directly under Boris. The only way he could have moved up in the organization was for his boss to resign. Which came down to the question he simply had to ask. "Where is Boris?"

"Boris was a good man. Unfortunately, he worked for my father," Mikhail explained, his blue eyes turning cold enough to send a chill racing down Yuri's spine.

"I understand," Yuri replied, confirming that the message being sent had been received clearly. Mikhail indeed was no longer a boy to be pushed around. "I have to admit, I never thought the little Misha would turn out to be so impressive."

Mikhail calmly put down his drink and looked the older man in the eyes with an expression on his face that made Yuri wish he had never entered the room in the first place.

"Yuri." The new head of the Arbatov family pronounced the name with a voice that struck like lightening. "As long as you remain on my territory, you will address me properly. Am I understood?"

"Of course." Yuri swallowed the bile in his throat with difficulty as he spoke. The situation clearly had changed. And for a moment, he wasn't sure being around the two brothers was as safe as he thought. He might be family, but that tie had been severed a long time ago. If it wasn't for the wishes of the boys’ late mother, he knew he would have already been dead. But he wasn't sorry for what he did. The boys had to be punished for their crime.

"You may leave," Mikhail commanded.

A sigh of relief was heard loud and clear from Alexei after Yuri had exited the room. The old man's presence and how it would affect Mikhail had been one of Alexei's biggest concerns. Surprisingly and fortunately, Mikhail appeared indifferent to it, and everything went smoothly – too smoothly, in Alexei’s opinion. However, one detail about Yuri's instructions puzzled him greatly.

"You do realize stealing the deed from Fei Long will make you his enemy?" Alexei asked to make sure his ears hadn't deceived him.

Mikhail smiled in amusement as he saw the curiosity written on his brother's face. Of course it would. But given the situation, he had no other choice.

"Fei Long isn't a fool, Alexei. Yuri will never get that deed. But it will force Baishe to tighten security and start cleaning up the moles in the organization. In case we don't get our hands on Yan Tsui, Fei Long will be prepared for an attack."

"For this purpose, you are deliberately sending our men to their deaths?"

Mikhail turned around and gave his brother a cunning smile. "You mean Yuri's men?"

The answer made Alexei pause for a full minute as he realized his brother's plan. Mikhail Arbatov was incredibly brilliant.

"That's why you called him."

"I need disposable labor," Mikhail shrugged.

"And he calls me an unimaginable bastard," the younger brother snickered as he recalled Fei Long's words. He,  
at least, wasn't half as scheming as the other despicable bastard standing in front of him.

"That, you are. Fei Long is always right, you know?" Mikhail agreed proudly. His blue eyes previously dimmed by exhaustion immediately lit up at the thought of the one man who truly had Mikhail Arbatov by the balls.

"You are making me nauseous," Alexei complained. It was rather scary what love can do to a man. In Mikhail's case, it had turned a perfectly evil and merciless crime lord into a lovesick puppy. He wished Fei Long had been there to see that ridiculous grin of absolute pride on Mikhail's face. How unfortunate that Mikhail’s wishes regarding his future with Fei Long had such a little chance of ever coming true.

"Just get the plane ready for me while I take a quick shower," Mikhail said, ignoring the remarks his brother seemed to enjoy teasing him with endlessly. It didn't bother him. In his opinion, a real man should be bold enough to admit his affection without shame. And loving Fei Long was the best thing that ever happened to him. Why shouldn't he be proud?

Mikhail quickly left after the conversation and headed for the master bedroom on the second floor. He took off his shirt and threw it on the chaise lounge by the bed before stepping into the largest marble bathroom of the house. On his way in, the full-sized mirror reflected the scars on his back, making him pause for a moment in front of it.

It had been a while since he had completely forgotten those scars. There were times when the pain that remained forever etched in his memory had haunted him even in his sleep. Every time Fei Long woke up screaming in the middle of the night, Mikhail’s own pain would come back, along with the memory he had already put behind him for more than a decade. Fei Long didn't think Mikhail would understand. The truth was, he understood it all too well to just let someone he loved walk down the same path he had. But it wasn't up to him. It was up to Fei Long to come to the realization that he must save himself. But Mikhail would make sure it happened, even at the cost of their relationship for the time being. Unless Fei Long found peace within himself, they would have no future together.

***


	9. Chapter 9

Arbatov Estate, Moscow

The warm and fulfilling aroma of freshly baked bread graced Mikhail’s nose as he reached the kitchen entrance. He stood in silence watching the slender figure he had known since childhood moving gracefully around the room. Baking had been one of Feodora’s favorite hobbies. He could always tell when she was in the house because of the sweet smell coming from the kitchen. There was a time when he had loved this woman enough to think he would be happy to marry her and live a good life together. Then he had met Fei Long and every plan he had ever made for his life had been thrown out the window. It had never been a problem for him to rearrange his life according to constantly changing circumstances. But dragging Feodora along with him had been one of the things that pained him the most in this mess. She had, after all, been the woman who stood by him in everything he had been through. But what had to be done would be done, regardless of the consequences or the morality of its execution. The most important thing was that Fei Long was safe from harm. If the whole world had to suffer for that purpose, then so be it.

“Butter scones,” Mikhail noted.

The baking tray in Feodora’s hand paused in midair for a moment, followed by a quiet sigh that was visible even from behind. She turned around calmly, placed the tray on the kitchen table, and looked at her husband, who had been gone nearly a month without so much as a phone call, with a slightly pitiful smile on her face.

“I would have made something you like if you had told me you were coming.”

“My schedule changes by the minute.”

“That would be your mind, not your schedule,” she corrected knowingly. Mikhail was the kind of man who would change everything in a blink of an eye whenever a better opportunity presented itself. It might have appeared cruel in terms of relationships, but because Mikhail would never force himself to do anything he didn’t want to do, one could always take comfort in knowing that whatever affection he had ever given at any time was never a lie. Mikhail used to love her. She had no doubt of that. But now that he had found Fei Long, her place in Mikhail’s heart had simply been taken away. Until, of course, someone else came along. Unfortunately, nothing better than Fei Long had come along. And considering the circumstances, she doubted anyone could ever replace him.

“You do know me,” Mikhail said with a smile. Yes, she did know him, sometimes better than he did.

“You could have called,” she couldn’t help but complain.

“And say that I miss you? That I'll be home soon? You know that'd be a lie.”

“It would be _responsible_. I am, after all, your wife,” she protested calmly. Feodora had always been elegant in voicing her irritation, which made her a respectable woman above every other one Mikhail knew.

“I would rather be an irresponsible man than to lie to someone I love.”

“And you love me?”

“I do. But I love him more,” Mikhail replied with no hesitation. The best he could do was not lie to this woman who deserved nothing less from him but the truth.

Hearing those words should have made her cry, but the way he said it with unwavering confidence and without shame in his tone made her laugh. It wasn’t a bitter laugh, but one full of esteem for the man who was bold enough to stand in front of his wife and tell her he loves another. There was a child in Mikhail still, in the way that he found no shame in expressing his feelings. One could easily see what, in an odd way, could be called “innocence” in his eyes. It was why she loved him.

“Must you insist on making me fall in love with you every time we meet?” she commented sadly. It was true. Even after all the pain he had inflicted upon her, Mikhail could always, in some way, make her fall for him all over again, intentionally or unintentionally.

“I’ve tried that on him, too, but I don’t think it’s working,” Mikhail said laughingly.

“Then he must be blind,” she said, reaching out her hand and touching him on the cheek. The touch nearly made him jump out of his skin from the pain it caused. Perhaps the woman standing in front of him was the only person who could see what lay beneath his laughter.

“It’s because I’m in love with someone who has never known love or received it,” Mikhail replied with the usual light in his blue eyes a little dimmer. His hand caught Feodora’s tenderly, removing it from his face, and held it softly. He would imagine his mother’s warmth to be like this if she had been alive. It was unfortunate that she had passed away when he was too young to remember much about her.

Feodora’s hand trembled a little when she squeezed his, as if she had long feared the answer to what she was about to ask. “And you'll never give up?”

“Not a chance in hell.” That, too, was an answer Mikhail gave without blinking.

She nodded silently, mostly to herself rather than to show acknowledgement. That moment, all her hopes shattered in the wind. Mikhail was never going to quit, even if the worst came.

“Then why have you come back?”

“Business. I'll leave as soon as it’s done,” Mikhail replied, then paused at the end of the sentence before uttering the words that were difficult for him to say – difficult, because he knew it would hurt her deeply. “Don’t wait for me.”

Those words cut through her heart like a sharp blade. She had known for a long time that this day would eventually come. But she had hoped that it would not be so soon. Mikhail had come to see her for a purpose. He had come to let her go.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want my pain on your conscience.”

“I can’t afford to have anything else on my mind right now.”

She closed her eyes for a few seconds before staring right into Mikhail’s with unshakable determination. There was an issue that had been on her mind for a while, awaiting her decision in order to straighten out her life. At that moment, she had reached a decision, and Mikhail owed it to her to comply.

“Then there will be a price. And you will indulge me.”

***

A sweet, harp-like sound made Akihito pause in the hallway in surprise. He turned around to look at Yoh, who had been leading him to Fei Long’s library per the triad leader’s order, for confirmation that his ears were still working correctly. The Baishe headquarters seemed to him the most inappropriate place for any kind of music, especially what sounded like classical music. Yoh’s expression didn’t change, but he, too, paused for a few seconds on hearing it, his eyes fixed on the room with the door wide open, signifying that the master of the house did not wish to be disturbed by any knocking and whoever wished to enter was to wait silently outside until permission was granted. Yoh placed a finger over his lips to imply that complete silence was in order as he urged Akihito to stand and wait outside the room.

What he saw in that room made Akihito hold his breath as he tried not to gasp per Yoh’s instructions. There – by the open entrance to a large balcony filled with exotic plants and flowers that made up a magnificent, miniature Chinese garden – the head of the biggest crime organization in Hong Kong sat in front of a large musical instrument that looked like a koto to Akihito’s eyes, only a little different. Long, elegant fingers, which almost seemed too delicate to be those of a man’s, plucked and glided across the fine strings with the grace of a ballerina, yet each stroke was powerful and precise enough to penetrate one’s heart like a fine katana. The strings vibrated a painfully sweet melody, mercilessly stretched to their most devastating potential by the slender fingers that slid down the length of the fine instrument.

The music was heartbreakingly beautiful, but what really stunned Akihito was the vision of a man so unrealistically beautiful expressing himself so profoundly through an instrument that made his heart ache like no music had ever done before. It was a shame he didn’t have his camera with him, but then again, he wasn’t sure his skill could have captured what went on in that room and do it justice. It was then that the boy started to doubt his own judgment. No man so cruel and cold as he had perceived Fei Long to be could have played such a heart-wrenching song.

Akihito thought of Tao’s words when the boy had defended his master with tears streaming from his eyes. Those tears were real and so was the unquestionable love for Fei Long in the boy’s eyes. And then there were his subordinates who appeared to worship the ground their master walked on. Monster or not, Fei Long must have done something right to deserve such love and respect. Even Akihito, who had been kidnapped and raped repeatedly, seemed to have been cursed by whatever spell Fei Long had up his sleeve. For as hard as it was for Akihito to escape that place, to hate Fei Long was impossible.

One last pluck at the strings ended the song. Akihito continued to hold his breath until the string Fei Long held down with his other hand stopped vibrating. The triad leader finally lifted his delicate face and gazed through his unbelievably long lashes to acknowledge Akihito, who was standing by the entrance, and the trusted bodyguard, who still found it impossible to take his eyes off his master.

“Come in and make me some tea, Akihito,” Fei Long said as he gracefully rose from his stool and stepped out onto the balcony to the small tea table outside.

Akihito obediently proceeded toward his captor, but couldn't help pausing to look at the beautiful instrument on the way. The dark ebony wood surface was a nice contrast to the inlaid mother-of-pearl floral pattern that graced both ends of the piece, turning it into what appeared to be a priceless, handmade musical instrument. Together with its owner’s priceless cheongsam, it completed a picture that one could only hope to see in movies or a stage performance. Fei Long, however, made it possible in everyday life without ever looking pretentious or out of place.

“Do you like my guzheng, Akihito?” Fei Long asked as he saw the curious look on the boy’s face.

“It’s beautiful,” Akihito answered with his eyes still fixed on the instrument he had just learned the name of. “You play beautifully.”

“You are the third person who has said that to me,” Fei Long commented and smiled sadly as he recalled. “My father once said I could always seduce anyone playing the guzheng or making tea.”

Akihito chuckled at those words. To him, Fei Long could always seduce anyone just standing there doing nothing. Chances were, Asami was probably one of his victims. Only, Asami’s interest for anyone, Akihito assumed, had never lasted for long. That opening, however, gave him the opportunity to ask the question he had been curious about for a few days, a question no other would dare ask someone like Fei Long. But fear simply wasn’t in Akihito’s dictionary, or if it was, it had never stopped him from being true to himself.

“Who’s the second person?”

Fei Long’s reaction to that question showed that Akihito had hit a sore spot. He paused for a full minute as if he didn’t quite know the answer or wasn't prepared to be confronted with such a question. First there was pain in those amethyst eyes, but Fei Long quickly hid it behind his cold expression.

“A friend,” Fei Long answered shortly, signifying that it was to be the end of the conversation.

But what worked with his subordinates had no effect on the boy. Those brown eyes found the courage to stare at him openly and demand an explanation without a hint of fear in them. “Do you always lie to yourself?”

Fei Long raised a brow in surprise. “What makes you think I lied?”

“Because I could see in your eyes that the person is more to you than a friend.”

Fei Long was taken aback by those words. Had he been showing his emotions so obviously or had Akihito been observing him more closely than he thought? Whatever it was, that statement had struck him like a slap in the face. No matter how much he had tried to deny it, Mikhail had become a part of his life – one too significant to brush aside or forget easily, so much so that even his prisoner could see it without having been given a single hint of Mikhail’s existence.

In normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have responded to that statement, but something about Akihito prompted him to. Perhaps it was the honesty in the way the boy had asked him, or maybe it was because no one else had ever dared or cared enough to ask.

“He was. But it doesn’t matter now. I have no place in his life, nor has he in mine,” Fei Long responded calmly and quietly as if to remind himself of those words.

“And you’re not going to do anything about it?” Akihito asked fearlessly. He knew it wasn’t his place to say these things and Fei Long might even kill him for it. But the stubbornness in him made it impossible to keep his mouth shut when something irritated him to that extent. He had never understood why people would give up something important to them so easily, or give up at all, for that matter.

When there was no answer from the triad leader, Akihito continued to speak his mind. “I don’t understand you people, both you and Asami. You never say what you mean, and you can’t seem to ever do what you want. You have so much money and power, what do you have to fear?” At that point, he couldn’t care less what might happen to him. He had to get it off his chest, especially when it was probably the reason why he had been caught in this mess in the first place. If only Fei Long and Asami had been honest with themselves and straightened things out between them face-to-face, all this wouldn’t have happened.

Fei Long was stunned at being criticized by a boy who was his prisoner. And yet he wasn’t angry. Akihito may have just spoken what he had always been too afraid to admit. Perhaps everything had happened because of his fear – the fear of being hurt, of failure, of being rejected by the ones he loved. Perhaps if he had told his father about his feelings from the beginning, he would have received his love much earlier. Perhaps if he had pursued Asami for the truth and accepted his own feelings instead of denying them, things might not have gone this far. And while Mikhail wasn’t afraid of giving it all to make their relationship work, he, on the other hand, had taken a step backwards for fear of failure. It was painful to admit, but the boy was right. He had been a coward.

“And what do you propose that I do?”

Akihito was surprised to see such a reaction from the triad leader. He had expected someone in Fei Long’s position to not take that lightly. But Fei Long had proven to be someone whose reasoning exceeded his ego. Those beautiful amethyst eyes looked at him, not in mockery or anger, but with unmistakable honesty. It was at that moment that the boy began to see more clearly the reason Tao had passionately shed tears for this man. Perhaps deep down inside, this seemingly cold and cruel leader of Baishe was a man full of compassion and kindness. And if that was true, it must have taken an enormous amount of strength for Fei Long to hold this position and carry out his duties while keeping the other side of himself well hidden. That contradiction created a magnificent picture of a man with the kind of beauty that didn’t seem possible in this world. Akihito had seen many people he would call pretty in his career, but the word "beautiful," however, seemed to have been created for this man alone, and sometimes even that word was an understatement.

Akihito smiled and replied, “Find out what you want and go for it. That’s what I’d do.”

Before Fei Long could respond, Yoh interrupted the conversation and whispered something to the boss, which caused Fei Long to raise a brow slightly in surprise.

“Alexei?” Fei Long asked in confirmation. “No, I’m not expecting him.”

“Then I'll tell him to leave.”

“Wait,” the triad leader stopped his bodyguard before Yoh left the room, his eyes fixed on Akihito as the boy’s words echoed in his mind.

“Let him in.”

Yoh paused for a few seconds in surprise. He didn’t expect Alexei Arbatov’s unexpected visit to be welcomed so easily. Something must have changed Fei Long’s mind. But it wasn’t his place to ask questions. He was there to do as instructed. His personal feelings had no place in his line of work.

So he simply nodded. “I'll put the boy back in his room.” He grabbed Akihito and began to lead him away.

“Akihito,” Fei Long called just before they disappeared, causing the boy to pause and turn around. “What if everything goes wrong?”

Akihito smiled.

“Then you try and make it right.”

***

“Good morning, Beautiful,” Alexei greeted Fei Long with a big grin on his face as he entered the room, his eyes traveling up and down the slender figure which stood by the tea table on the balcony, without any effort to hide his interest. Fei Long had always been a sight to behold and, to Alexei, pretty things are there to be looked at and enjoyed, if not made his own. But Fei Long would be a good example of one thing that had become forbidden for him to touch.

“Speak of the devil,” Fei Long sighed and rolled his eyes. Mikhail’s playfulness was adorable; Alexei’s was rather irritating. “Take a seat. Have some tea.”

Alexei sat back in the chair and crossed his legs. “I don’t drink tea,” he bluntly refused.

Fei Long looked at the man across the table and chuckled. “Why? Are you afraid I’m going to drug you and fuck you?”

“If only you would, Fei Long,” Alexei laughed at the taunt and picked up the small teacup to drink. How he loved it when Fei Long was in the mood to tease. “If only you would.”

Fei Long smiled playfully at his reply. That was genuinely Alexei’s style – straightforward and blunt. But once he had gotten used to it, Alexei could be quite entertaining.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Just wanted to check on you a bit. After all, we do have a history together, don’t we?”

“Just one night with me and you’re already clinging to it? You poor thing,” Fei Long teased with a devious smile. While he was always going to feel guilty for what he had done, in regards to his relationship with Alexei, however, the memory held no significance.

“Awww, you’re hurting my feelings,” Alexei protested. “But after seeing what you’ve done to my brother, I have to admit you’re rather bewitching.”

Fei Long averted his eyes from the man and focused on filling his teacup after hearing Alexei’s accusation. His hand lingered over the teacup longer than needed as he retreated into a brief moment of silence that was needed for him to draw the strength to ask what had been occupying his mind.

“How is he?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Don’t tell me what I want or don’t want to know, Alexei. Or you may consider your visit here over.”

“If you’re that enthusiastic about it, why don’t you ask him yourself when he comes back from Moscow?”

“He’s gone back?” Fei Long asked with a little disappointment in his tone. He knew Mikhail’s main business was in Russia, especially now that Alexei had taken over Macau. But still, it was painful when he heard about Mikhail going back home – home, where his wife was waiting for him.

“Hey,” Alexei called, his voice softening when he noticed the change in Fei Long’s expression. “You know he’ll always come back to you.”

“Will he?” Fei Long asked with a sardonic smile. “You know, I haven’t even asked him about his scars.”

Alexei paused for a few seconds in surprise. “I always thought you two had gone way beyond that point. You know, you should. He would have told you everything. Even the things he’s never told anyone else.”

Fei Long took a deep breath and looked at Alexei in the eyes. It was about time he found out about those scars. Even if it wasn’t from Mikhail’s mouth, he still needed to know. “Will you tell me?”

By that time, the playful look on Alexei’s face had vanished without a trace. He paused for a long time in silence. He didn’t like to talk about it, not to anyone. But the way Fei Long looked at him told him it would make a difference if he did. And he did owe it to Mikhail to make a difference.

“Brace yourself, Fei Long. This isn’t pretty and I only know less than half of it,” Alexei warned, lighting himself a cigarette and closing his eyes for a moment as the dreadful memory slowly came back to him.

***

_It had been the coldest winter in Alexei’s thirteen-year-old memory, one filled with blood and the deaths of men in his family. It began with a deadly war breaking out among the Russian mafia groups that ended up in his home, with bullets flying through his bedroom window and his father’s men lying dead on the floor like expendable casualties of war. The next thing he knew, he and Mikhail, who had just turned fifteen, had been sent away to hide in the countryside where no one, not even his father’s men, was supposed to know where they were._

_The old manor house on the top of the hill was a half-hour drive from the nearest village. He remembered standing in front of it with Mikhail and agreeing with his brother that it had to be worse than a boarding school. What they didn’t know was that the worst was yet to come._

_They were first introduced to their uncle, Yuri, at that house. Their father told them that Yuri was their mother’s younger brother who had been working for the family in the background for a long time. In their father’s eyes, Yuri was too insignificant in the family to be tracked down by their enemies, but being a close family member had gained their father’s trust. Their uncle had been positioned there to protect them, together with a handful of Yuri’s men._

_Mikhail detested their uncle from the first time they met. “Stay away from Yuri,” Mikhail said to him. He didn’t understand why, and Mikhail didn’t tell him. All he knew was that their uncle often yelled at them for no apparent reason, especially at him._

_One night, he heard the click of his bedroom door opening. The pungent smell of alcohol filled the room as someone entered. A man crept through the darkness and stood over his bed, staring at him like a beast about to rip apart its prey. For the first time in his life, he understood what it was like to be crippled by fear._

_“Make a sound and I’ll crush your pretty neck,” the man commanded, straddling him and placed a hand firmly over his mouth. He recognized that voice. It was their uncle, Yuri._

_With all his strength, he twisted and turned to free himself, but every time, Yuri held him back down and smacked him in the face until he could taste his own blood on the hand that nearly crushed his jaw. When Yuri started to undo his pants, he realized his deepest fear then wasn’t of pain. He was terrified of surviving that night, and he wished to God that he wouldn’t._

_“Let him go,” a familiar voice sounded. Yuri suddenly froze. Alexei didn’t know when or how his brother had gotten there. But Mikhail was there, and he was holding a gun to the back of Yuri’s head._

_Yuri freed him and slowly stood up. But suddenly the man spun around and kicked the gun out of Mikhail’s hand._

_“Alexei,” Mikhail shouted at him as Yuri’s hand grabbed him by the hair and threw him violently against the wall. “Run!”_

_He hesitated, until Mikhail yelled at him one more time. Run. That word echoed in his head over and over again as he leapt to his feet and ran out of the house. His limbs were almost completely numb from the cold, and his face hurt like hell, but he couldn’t stop. Mikhail was in that house, alone, with Yuri and his men._

_He didn’t know how long it had taken him to reach the village. An hour, maybe two. The police didn’t want to do anything until morning, and in the end, he had to call and wait for his father’s men from the nearby town to arrive. By the time they had gotten back to the house, it was too late._

_They found Mikhail in the attic where Yuri had left the boy before disappearing without a trace. There his brother was, lying still on the cold floor in a dark corner of the room. Perfectly still, as if Mikhail had been dead for hours. They shone a flashlight on the scene, and then he felt someone pulling him away, covering his eyes and telling him not to look. But by then, it was too late._

_He had seen it all – the blood splattering his brother’s bare skin, the fresh, deep wounds on the back, the bruises that covered the body. His brother was lying there, naked from head to toe, as pale as ice._

_He thought for sure Mikhail was dead. And perhaps it would have been better that way._

***

Fei Long’s face was hidden behind the curtain of his silky black hair and the hand that he rested his head on. He had been listening in absolute silence without the slightest movement. The teacups were untouched. Alexei could imagine their contents to be as cold as Fei Long now was after hearing what he wanted to know.

“They said those cuts were most likely made by a whip and there were a lot of broken bones,” Alexei explained as briefly as he could, pausing for a second before he continued. “There were also signs of sexual abuse.”

“I bet you want to kill him now, don’t you?” Alexei asked with a faint smile on his face as he saw Fei Long’s clenched fingers digging deep into the palm of his other hand.

There was no response, just suffocating silence coming from the slender figure from across the table.

“But my father never found Yuri. On top of that, Mikhail also requested that he drop the search and never uttered a word about that incident ever again,” Alexei continued.

“The problem is, it didn’t end there. Mikhail suffered a trauma that lasted for years. He became more reserved, more violent, and then he started shooting heroine. We all struggled for months trying to get him off it. Nothing worked. Until one day, he ODed and woke up to find that my father had suffered a stroke because of it. That was what it took for him to start cleaning up and sorting out his life.”

Alexei paused and filled his lungs with the smoke from his dying cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray in front of him.

“That’s the way he is, you know? Mikhail would do anything for the ones he loves, even if it kills him. And he won’t stop until he gets things his way. That’s the reason why my father doesn’t want him to be with you,” Alexei explained. If Fei Long didn’t know this fact about Mikhail already, then it was about time he figured it out.

“I don’t know what the problem is between you and that Japanese man. And to tell you the truth, I don’t even want to know,” Alexei said as he rose from the chair and picked up the cigarette case he had placed on the table. “Do whatever you have to, Fei Long. But do it quickly before you lose everything you hold dear.”

Even though Fei Long had never made a sound after hearing all that he had to say, he knew a lot of things were going to change after that morning. Hopefully, Fei Long would come to realize what was important to him and move in the right direction. Hopefully that would happen before it was too late.

Alexei turned around before he left the room. “By the way, I suppose you want to know where Yuri is right now?” he added.

Fei Long’s eyes suddenly opened wide at what was being suggested. “I thought you said your family never found him?”

“My father, no – Mikhail, yes. The sickest thing about it is, right now, he’s living right under my fucking roof as my brother’s new right-hand man,” Alexei explained with an ironic smile. “And it’s all for you.”

***

 

And before I go, I'd like to leave you with a picture of Fei's guzheng in my mind. I dream of Fei playing the guzheng *drools*

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/baby_fei/pic/0003k3rc/)


	10. Chapter 10

 

Toh Residence, Shanghai

The red-tailed boa constrictor slowly coiled its red and gold body around a branch of a man-made tree in the corner of its master’s study. In front of it was a tall, slender Chinese man in traditional clothing, standing with one arm behind his back, watching the exquisite reptile’s every movement with eyes that remarkably resembled those of his exotic pet.

“Someone tried to steal the casino deed from Baishe yesterday,” a man in a black suit, who had just been given permission to enter, began his report. “Our sources confirmed the mole worked for the Russians.”

Toh lifted an eyebrow slowly in response. The news was a surprise to him. He knew Mikhail Arbatov would never sit still until the matter had been resolved. But for the man to go so far as to try to steal the deed from Fei Long was something Toh had never anticipated from the Russian. Perhaps what Mikhail had said about his relationship with the Baishe leader being already broken was true after all.

“Does Fei Long know?” Toh asked with his eyes still fixed on the reptile before him. It would be interesting to see what would happen between the two former lovers if Fei Long found out.

“He had the spy’s eyeballs sent to the Arbatov estate this morning,” the man replied without a change in expression. It was standard practice at Baishe - traitors got sent back to their true masters, naturally, in pieces.

“That’s all?” Toh asked in surprise. Considering Fei Long’s reputation from the past, if his ties with the Russian had truly been severed, Mikhail Arbatov should already be in much bigger trouble. Fei Long might look feminine, but the dragon’s wrath was known to be the worst of all the crime lords in China. And betrayal was the one thing Fei Long despised the most.

“It appears so, Laoban.”

“Pity,” Toh noted with a little irritation in his tone as he realized what it meant. There was love for the Russian in his little brother’s heart still.

“And what of that Japanese man?”

“Asami Ryuichi keeps only two men by his side who are both extremely loyal. We haven’t been able to obtain any inside information,” the man replied reluctantly. Unlike Fei Long, Asami was just a powerful man, not the head of an organization. Asai Ryuichi worked independently and privately, making his moves in the background through his connections, rather than keeping a structured organization that would be easier to infiltrate.

“But we found out he’d arrived in Hong Kong just days before Liu senior’s death and left shortly after Fei Long went to jail…” The man paused and swallowed before he reluctantly continued. “It also appears he was working with your father at the time.”

A sarcastic smile spread over Toh’s face as he listened and put the pieces together in his mind. He had discovered his father’s wish to bring Fei Long back into the Toh family shortly before the old man was killed. Considering the timing of Asami’s appearance and the events that followed, it was now quite clear to him that the Japanese man must have had a hand in making the Liu family fall apart seven years ago. If Asami Ryuichi had been working with his father back then, everything might have originated from his father’s plan to bring down his competition - namely the Liu family. And if Mikhail Arbatov was right about Asami being the one who had killed his father instead of Fei Long, then Asami must have been with Fei Long the night his father died. Perhaps Mikhail had told him the truth. Which meant that the relationship between Fei Long and Asami could have been something incredibly deep that went all the way back to that event seven years ago.

“I’m guessing Fei Long’s recent visit to Tokyo had to do with Asami Ryuichi?” Toh asked as he glided a hand along the scaly skin of the boa. But in truth, he could already guessed the answer.

“We know briefly that they ran into some conflict in Japan, and Fei Long has brought a young Japanese man back with him. Asami is now in Hong Kong, possibly to retrieve the hostage.”

This time, Phillip Toh could no longer hold back his amusement over the situation and laughed openly. He could hardly believe his luck. Fei Long must have kidnapped Asami’s lover out of jealousy, which was probably why Mikhail had been cast aside. With Fei Long and Mikhail not cooperating while an enemy like Asami was on the move, it was far too easy for him to execute his plans.

“What is it they say? Love really does make one a fool,” Toh said, amused. “Is Asami working with anyone in Hong Kong?”

“There is a man who has been in contact with him regularly ever since he’s arrived,” the man answered with an obvious grin. He knew his master would particularly enjoy this bit of information.

“Anyone I know?”

The subordinate smiled with an expression that closely resembled his master’s.

“Fei Long’s personal and most trusted bodyguard.”

 

***

 

The cell phone rang twice. Mikhail put down the glass in his hand and reached into his pocket. After hesitating for a brief moment at seeing the unknown number displayed, he decided to pick up the call.

“Arbatov,” a familiar voice he didn’t like to hear sounded from the other end of the line, prompting him to look up at Alexei who was sitting across the breakfast table, before he put the phone down and turned on the speaker.

“Well, if it isn’t Asami Ryuichi himself,” Mikhail said in his usual playful tone. It sure was a surprise to be getting a call from a man he’d take pleasure in killing. But until the opportunity presented itself, it’d be wise to appear neutral. “How are you enjoying Hong Kong?”

Clearly understanding the meaning behind that last sentence, Asami fell silent for a few seconds. Mikhail Arbatov was certainly not just a kid with power. The Russian must have been having him followed for quite a while. “I have a proposition for you,” Asami finally spoke.

“A proposition?” Mikhail repeated in a mocking tone, adding a little bit of a Russian accent to the word. He could speak perfect English if he wanted to, but sometimes he’d purposely put on a thick Russian accent when he wanted to show he couldn’t care less about a subject, just to irritate people. Although he had to admit, given the situation, he certainly didn’t expect Asami Ryuichi to be willing to do business with him - not unless the man was desperate or somewhat out of his mind.

“I want information on secret bank safes in Macau,” Asami stated directly. He didn’t have time to waste.

Mikhail leisurely tapped his fingertips on the table as he retreated into a brief silence, trying to figure out Asami’s game in his head. There was only one thing that information could lead to.

“Don’t waste my time. You want Fei Long’s deed to the Macau casino,” Mikhail replied bluntly. Under the circumstances, he could immediately tell that Asami was after the deed. But for what? To get back at Fei Long? It wasn’t like Asami Ryuichi to get his hands dirty over something like emotions. Considering how the deed itself held no value other than as leverage, Asami must want something else from Fei Long. But what?

“You know we’re after it. Why would I want to give you that information?” Mikhail stalled.

“Because you need your own firepower to go to war with Toh and your father, which I have. And I need the deed which you can always try to steal later,” Asami replied calmly. Mikhail should know he wasn’t the only one with inside information.

“You have a point,” Mikhail admitted. The answer caused Alexei to raise a brow in surprise. He never would have thought Mikhail would agree to something so risky over money or firepower.

“Do we have a deal?” Asami demanded.

“That depends on your offer. I want cash and firearms. Pay me in euros; the dollar is depreciating,” Mikhail added with a playful grin on his face as he leaned back and took a sip of his morning espresso. “Make me an offer I can’t refuse.”

As soon as his brother had hung up the phone, Alexei asked, “You’re really going to sell him that information?”

“It’s not like he’d be able to get it with just that information. I might as well rip off the old bastard just for the sake of it.” Mikhail shrugged carelessly.

“What makes you so confident?” Alexei asked curiously. It wasn’t like his brother to underestimate his opponent. Mikhail might appear carefree and playful, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t focused and calculating. To risk something like this meant he had some crucial information to back up his confidence.

“One still needs a key to open a safe,” Mikhail replied. “As far as I know, the keeper of that key - who would never betray Fei Long - remains a top secret.”

“A secret that you’ve discovered?”

“Only because Fei Long let me.” The Russian mafia boss smiled to himself as he recalled Fei Long’s rather indecent way of testing him. “It was supposed to be a test - to see if I’d dare try to steal it from him.” Even though they’d been intimate for quite a while, Fei Long still didn’t fully trust him. Every once in a while, the cunning dragon would let something slip on purpose, just to test Mikhail’s reaction. It certainly wasn’t easy to get close to the man - Fei Long had made sure of that. But Mikhail wasn’t the kind of man who would quit before he had gotten what he wanted.

“And you didn’t.”

“Even _I_ wouldn’t steal from a kid.”

“Clever bastard,” Alexei exclaimed as he realized to whom his brother was referring. No one would have thought Fei Long would give something so important to a child like Tao. “Although he must have placed it somewhere else by now, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps. But my instinct tells me it’s still with Tao,” Mikhail replied with a wink. “For now, the key should be safe - unless, of course, if this information ever gets out - then Tao would be in grave danger. Keep an eye on the Japanese anyway. Take them all down if they try to get close to the boy. And have someone find out what Asami wants from Fei Long.”

 

***

 

The wind blew softly through the open balcony door, scattering the neatly piled papers on the antique Chinese desk. A tall, slender body stood motionless above it with his arms crossed behind his back, ignoring the mess he usually found irritating and the cup of tea nearby that had already gone cold.

The news of his father's deed being stolen by Asami had left Fei Long feeling much more than just anger - it had struck him with a sense of failure he hadn't experienced since his father died. How could he have been so blind to let a mole, a traitor, get so close to him? He was more than certain Tao would never betray him, and the only man who knew he had given Tao the key to the safe was Mikhail. But if Mikhail truly wanted to steal the deed, why would he steal the false deed first and create such a facade when he’d already known how to get the real one? Besides, it was unlikely that Mikhail would ever sell the deed to Asami, considering the circumstances.

No. It couldn't be Mikhail. But, still, he had to be sure.

The desk phone rang once before the head of Baishe snatched up the receiver. He had been anxiously awaiting a call from Wong, who he had instructed to check on Tao as soon as he had heard the deed had been stolen. If Tao had been hurt in any way in the process, it would have been Fei Long’s fault alone for leaving the key in the boy's protection, and that was something he couldn't live with.

"Wong?"

"Tao is fine, Laoban." Sensing his master's concern for the boy, the man on the phone answered without waiting to be questioned.

There was only silence from his master, followed by a quiet sigh of relief that could hardly be heard. It was enough to tell a high-ranking subordinate like Wong, who had been working for the family for decades, that whatever was happening had affected his master greatly. But it wasn't his place to ask, and the only thing he could do was carry out his duty faultlessly.

"I have the hospital visitors log that you asked for, Laoban."

"Read the names to me, beginning from the last two days."

"They're all our men and the staff close to Tao, Laoban. There’s Amanda Lee, your housekeeper; Peter Chang, your head chef; Yoh; and the head butler, Lou."

Fei Long closed his eyes for a few seconds as a name was singled out in his mind. Among those names there was only one person who could have known the location of the key and acquired it from Tao without the need to harm the boy - a name he would have otherwise quickly crossed off the list of suspected moles and traitors, had the man not visited Tao recently.

"....Laoban?"

Fei Long didn't answer. In the back of his mind, a recent conversation with Akihito repeated itself over and over, as if to confirm the suspicion he was trying to deny.

_"...kidnapping me like this isn't going to get you any answers from Asami..."_

_"Where did you hear this from?"_

_"From your subordinate. I asked him, so he told me."_

There was only one man in charge of Akihito, only one man close enough to Tao to gain the boy's trust. Having met Yoh in jail, there was no way Yoh could have known the details of Fei Long’s relationship with Asami. Unless...

"That's all I need. Thank you, Wong," Fei Long ended the conversation abruptly before slowly placing the phone down. His eyes glowed a haunting shade of violet as he stared into the empty space before him.

"You ignorant fool," the head of Baishe scowled at himself, gritting his teeth tightly until he could feel the pain that closely resembled what was in his heart.

_“I swear with my life - I will never leave you.”_

How stupid could he be for ever believing those words and what he saw in those eyes, when everything was a lie - a perfect lie he had been believing for seven years, created by his biggest enemy and carried out by the one subordinate he had trusted the most. Now that his eyes had been opened, it was unmistakably Asami's style - strategically positioning a man to meet him in jail and gain his trust when he was in his most vulnerable state to ensure that he would later have Yoh by his side relaying every bit of information within Baishe back to his true master. It was a plan of a genius. And a pathetic fool like him fell for it...for seven years.

"Father," Fei Long said quietly as he lowered his gaze to the floor, remembering how and why his father had to die. Baishe, his father’s legacy, was going to perish under the command of someone like him. "I am unfit to be your son."

A few knocks on the door startled him from his thoughts. Fei Long adjusted himself and granted permission to enter. No matter what happened, he still had an organization to run, and he would at least try to run it the way his father would have if he had been alive.

Yuan, Fei Long's other personal bodyguard, promptly entered his master's study with a quick but formal bow. Fei Long took a glance at the two brown envelopes in the man's hand and realized Yuan had automatically carried out the duty of delivering documents in Yoh's place, meaning that Yoh was absent, just as Fei Long thought he would be.

"Fei Long-sama, this just came for you via express mail. Because there was no sender's name, we had to check it before handing it to you, as you've instructed," Yuan explained as he handed the boss one opened envelope, deliberately keeping the other one behind his back.

Fei Long slowly reached out his hand for the document while his eyes carefully noted the strange expression on his subordinate's face. Whatever it was in that envelope, it had clearly upset his bodyguard enough for him to let it show. The answer presented itself clearly when he pulled out a set of photographs - photographs of what seemed to be a meeting between his most trusted bodyguard and Asami Ryuichi, taken from somewhere in the nearby building,

"You've seen this?" Fei Long asked without a change in expression as he flipped through the photographs and carelessly tossed them on his desk. How pathetic that he had only found out the truth minutes ago, when the secret enemy who had sent him the photographs - if not everyone in Hong Kong - had probably learned of this treacherous plan long ago enough to have Yoh followed, just so they could send over the evidence of Liu Fei Long's stupidity in a way where everyone at Baishe would learn about it. But at a time like this, when there were enemies around him in every direction and not a friend in sight, it would be a mistake if anyone thought he would just pack up and run - a deadly mistake.

”Yes, laoban,” Yuan replied with hesitation.

"Then what are you still doing here?" the dragon of Baishe questioned with a cold, condemning tone that struck like lightening.

"Waiting for your permission to act, Laoban."

Fei Long paused and looked at his loyal subordinate with eyes that had turned as cold as ice, signifying that the given answer was gravely disturbing. It may have been only a few seconds of being condemned by suffocating silence from his master, but to Yuan, those seconds seemed like hours.

"Have I ever tolerated a traitor, Yuan?"

"Never," Yuan straightened himself and answered promptly. He had almost forgotten what Liu Fei Long resented the most. Betrayal had always been the crime most heavily punished at Baishe.

"Take as many men as you need. By tomorrow, I want him dragged back here at my feet, alive," Fei Long commanded, making sure his every word was clearly heard and understood. "And find out who sent these."

The last sentence caused Yuan to shift his weight in discomfort, which didn't escape his master's hawk-like eyes.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

Yuan swallowed.

"There were two sets of photographs," Yuan explained as he reluctantly handed over the other brown envelope. "I think these will answer your last question, Laoban."

Fei Long took the second envelope and pulled out two photographs that looked like still images from a video recording. The images were blurry, but it would be denial to say he couldn't recognize the men in those photographs.

Fei Long’s hands holding the envelope and photographs tightened and trembled so hard that it was visible to his subordinate’s eyes. The news about Yoh’s betrayal had undoubtedly struck hard at his master’s pride. Those two photographs, however, struck Fei Long right at his very heart.

"Get a helicopter ready for me in five minutes," Fei Long commanded, the usually silky smooth voice broken and dry as he spoke. "I'm going to Macau."

 

***

 

The helicopter landed behind the Arbatov estate where a number of security guards stood waiting. The visit was unexpected, but the snake symbol on the side of the helicopter made it clear whom they were about to receive. Just as their boss could always stop by at Baishe without prior notice, Liu Fei Long, even though his unexpected visits were rare due to impeccable manners, was also given the privilege to enter and exit these premises as he pleased. And since his welcome had always been made clearer than anything else written in the rule book by Mikhail Arbatov himself, no one dared carry a weapon to greet the head of Baishe, even when the look on his face showed nothing but hostility.

Fei Long stepped out of the helicopter and headed toward the house at a quick pace, ignoring the guards that promptly acknowledged his presence and the maid who received him at the door as he entered.

"Liu Laoban, if you don't mind, I will notify Mr. Arbatov of your visit immediately," the butler replied worriedly with a quick bow, after intercepting the furious triad leader at the staircase leading to the second floor. Seeing the mood the Baishe leader was in, he had decided it wasn’t a good idea to let him surprise the boss in such a manner.

"Get out of my way or I’ll shoot you in the head. Where the fuck is he?" He knew the butler had done nothing wrong, but by then it was impossible for Fei Long to hold back the hostility in his words and tone, or care about his manners.

Despite the intimidating fury of the guest, the head butler, who had been with the family for decades, didn't move an inch. He had served Mikhail Arbatov since the man had been twelve years old. His concerns for the well-being of the Arbatov family came before the consequences of disobeying his master's orders.

"Sergei," a low, husky voice sounded from the second floor. Looking down at the commotion from the master bedroom at the top of the stairs, Mikhail Arbatov appeared in his dark blue terrycloth robe with one arm holding the door open while the other pushed back the damp and unruly golden hair from his face. “Let him through,” the master of the house commanded.

Fei Long looked up and glared at the man above whose appearance showed he had just come out of the shower. He could see no surprise on Mikhail’s face, but the playful smile that had always been his trademark was nowhere to be seen. It was this evidence that made Fei Long realize Mikhail had already known something about the reason behind his visit that day and was somewhat expecting his call.

Without another word spoken, the head butler automatically understood what was being asked of him and moved aside to allow the head of Baishe through. It wasn’t every day that Mikhail would seem so agitated, not to mention that he had been in his usual mood just after he came up from the pool where some news was given to him. To Sergei, it had to be something about Liu Fei Long’s presence that day that had put Mikhail in such a mood.

Fei Long proceeded quickly to the door that was held open for him by the man he had come to see, without saying another word, although his glowing amethyst eyes, which remained locked with those of the Russian, were more than enough to show his anger.

Mikhail closed the door and turned around, still without a trace of a smile on his face. He could immediately guess why Fei Long was there to see him, and it was exactly why he felt such anger in his heart the moment he had learned about Fei Long’s visit.

“Since you came here looking like you want to kill me, why don’t you begin by giving me an explanation?” Mikhail asked in a tone he had never used towards the Baishe leader.

That alone made whatever control Fei Long still had snap. Before he could stop himself, the envelope he held smacked sharply against Mikhail’s right cheek.

“Explain? Why don’t you explain this?” For the first time in his life, Fei Long nearly screamed at someone in rage. Perhaps it was the result of several events in the past few days that had accumulated to make him feel such intense anger in his heart. Or perhaps it was just the picture of Mikhail kissing or touching someone else that had infuriated him enough to make him lose all control. Whatever it was, the pain that felt like a hundred daggers piercing through his chest was too much for him to remain in control.

Mikhail stood as still as a rock without uttering a word. His blue eyes that had turned ice-cold took a glance at the pictures scattered on the floor for a second, before he slowly bent down to pick them up, seemingly unaffected by the whole situation.

“Explain what?” Mikhail asked calmly as he carelessly tossed the photographs back on the floor by Fei Long’s feet after looking at them briefly. He had known something like this would happen. But what he had hoped for from Fei Long was a far different reaction. “You want to know if I fucked him? Why don’t you just come out and say it?”

“Well, did you?” Fei Long asked in almost a whisper through tightly clenched teeth, lifting his chin slightly as he confronted the bigger man for the truth. If Mikhail thought reverse psychology was going to work on him, the man had better think again.

“What if I did?” Mikhail asked with a scornful sneer. “As if it makes a difference to you who I fuck,” he added sarcastically. In his heart, Fei Long had already carved a permanent wound with just one question. To think that after all this time and all he had done, Fei Long had never trusted him. That, coupled with the news he had just been told regarding Fei Long stealing and keeping Asami’s boy-toy, had infuriated him enough to make him say the words he would never have said otherwise, not to someone who mattered to him as much as Fei Long.

“Bastard!” In an uncontrollable rage, Fei Long threw his fist at the Russian who caught his arm just before it landed and drove the smaller man up against the wall, nailing him with his superior strength. It was the first time Mikhail had ever been so violent, the first time he had shown such rage towards the head of Baishe.

“Get your filthy hands off me,” Fei Long hissed as he fought back with every limb to break free, only to be thrown back against the wall by the bigger man each time he tried. The insult must have made Mikhail snap, for just as the words left Fei Long’s lips, a strong, forceful hand snatched a fistful of his long, ebony hair and twisted it violently, pulling him forward close enough to Mikhail’s face that he could feel the strong, uneven breaths on his cheek.

“You fucked my brother, keeping yourself a Japanese man-whore - and you call _me_ filthy,” Mikhail retaliated. He’d had to watch Fei Long with other men for far too long to keep his cool while being accused of disloyalty, most of all by Fei Long himself. “Or perhaps you’re here because your sex toy couldn’t do his job right,” Mikhail said with an obvious sneer on his face. At that moment, all he wanted to do was hurt someone.

“Don’t kid yourself. You’re not half the man he is, you dirty bastard!” Fei Long snarled back at the Russian’s face.

Hearing those words, Mikhail’s eyes lit up like a pair of burning blue flames before his hand violently yanked the smaller man up by the hair into a kiss, one that possessed no trace of affection but was filled with rage and the raw desire of a malicious animal about to torture its prey. There was a limit to what a man could take, and that limit had already been reached seconds ago.

Fei Long closed his eyes as he struggled to pry the bigger man away from him. Every kiss and every embrace from the man whose intention was only to inflict pain and humiliation made him sick to his stomach. It was nauseating enough to know those lips had been on someone else’s, but the way Mikhail treated him had disgusted and infuriated him beyond words.

“Get the fuck off me!” Fei Long yelled as he brought his knee up to the other man’s gut with all his strength. If Mikhail thought he was just going to stand there and become a victim of some sick, sexual abuse, he had another thing coming.

The impact made Mikhail growl in pain and fall backwards, freeing his captive in the process. Before another word was spoken, Fei Long pulled out a gun from under his jacket and pressed it against Mikhail’s forehead, ready to pull the trigger.

“You’re going to shoot me now?” A sarcastic laugh escaped Mikhail’s lips. Why was he surprised? After all this time, he had been, and still was, someone disposable to the leader of Baishe.

“I’ll fucking shoot you, Asami, and every last one of you lying, deceitful bastards!” Fei Long yelled, his whole body shaking from the anger and pain in his heart. There was no one in the world he could trust. No one.

It was then that Mikhail realized how stupid he was. Watching Fei Long as he said those words made him forget his own pain and filled him with more regret than he had ever felt in his life for what he’d just inflicted. The man standing in front of him wasn’t someone drowning in rage from jealousy, it was a man who had been severely wounded and damaged to the point of breaking apart. Those deep amethyst eyes he cherished had lost their strength and passion, and by then they were brimming with tears that Fei Long struggled with whatever strength he had left to hold back. It would have been better if those tears were out of sadness or regret, but knowing Fei Long, the only thing that filled his heart at that particular moment was hatred - hatred towards everyone around him, but most of all, towards himself.

“Fei…” Mikhail called, his voice softening into almost a whisper. How could he be so blind and not see it? Something, someone other than him, had driven Fei Long up against a wall, even before the photos of him and Toh had shown up. To his knowledge, there was only one event that could have upset Fei Long this much.

“Who stole the deed from you?” Mikhail asked as he stepped closer, ignoring the gun that was still pointing at him, and slowly reached out his hand.

“It’s none of your business,” Fei Long replied scornfully, turning away from the baby-blue eyes that could fool him with loyalty and affection over and over again. He’d had enough of believing everyone’s lies. He’d had enough of being deceived by the warmth of those hands that he’d always thought was real. “Get away from me.”

Mikhail realized he already knew the answer to his question. There was only one man left at Baishe whose betrayal could have upset Fei Long to that extent. Fei Long had trusted Yoh with his life, so much that Mikhail hadn’t been allowed to lay a finger on that man, no matter how much Yoh’s presence had irritated him in the past. It was unforgivable, but most of all, to Fei Long, it must have hurt like hell.

“You can shoot me if it makes you feel better,” Mikhail said as he took another step forward, pressing his forehead firmly against the gun in Fei Long’s hand. “I’ve never touched Toh, Fei.”

“I don’t believe you,” Fei Long said, still holding his gun firmly in place. He had made the stupid mistake of trusting someone twice - that had cost him more than he could afford. There wouldn’t be a third time.

Everyone would lie and betray him one day. Everyone.

Mikhail paused and looked directly into Fei Long’s eyes as he reached out and cradled the beautiful face between the palms of his hands.

“Look into my eyes,” Mikhail whispered. “Do you see anyone else?”

Perhaps he was too foolish to ever learn his lesson, or perhaps Mikhail had a way of persuading people, but when Fei Long looked into those eyes, he wanted to believe those words. There was unmistakable sincerity and affection in those eyes as there had always been. And once more, he found himself defeated by the one thing that had drawn him back to this man over and over again in the past. While in Asami’s eyes he often saw pity, and in Yoh’s there was sometimes sympathy, in these blue eyes he saw pride and unfailing appreciation as they looked upon him, no matter what he did or how pitiful he might have appeared. He used to love who he was in those eyes. And at that moment, those eyes were still the same.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” Fei Long said as he slowly lowered his gun and closed his eyes. No matter how senseless it was, in his heart, he still wanted to believe in someone, and somehow Mikhail understood.

“There are still plenty of men at Baishe who would die for you…and Tao will never betray you,” Mikhail said as he gently pushed away the silky strands of ebony hair from the beautiful face. “Believe in me,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss away the tiny drops of tears that began to roll down Fei Long’s cheeks. “I will never leave you.”

Fei Long hesitated for a second as Mikhail’s lips pressed against his, before closing his eyes and allowing the warmth of Mikhail’s mouth to enter. To him, it felt like more than a just kiss. It was a promise of love and affection - one that was tender enough to mend whatever damage there was in his heart.

Fei Long soon found himself pressing harder into Mikhail’s embrace to satisfy his hunger for the warmth he was being given, and Mikhail responded with an appetite that matched his own.

“You do know if we keep going like this, I won’t be able to stop,” Mikhail whispered as he tried to control his own desire that, to him, was already an impossible task. But considering the circumstances, he wasn’t sure it was what Fei Long wanted, and the last thing he wanted to do was to put more pressure on him in any way.

“You dare stop and I’ll kill you,” Fei Long commanded before yanking the bigger man back down into a kiss. He wanted it, needed it then more than anything. After all, Mikhail was the only thing left that was still his and his alone.

Mikhail smiled before complying with Fei Long’s request with a deep and passionate kiss that matched his lover’s - at least that was what he wanted to call Fei Long, no matter how twisted their relationship might be and whether or not Fei Long would ever call him the same. If there was the tiniest part of Fei Long’s heart that needed him, then he would proudly accept it. He was going to be a part of Fei Long’s life at any cost, or else life was not worth living.

“I’m so goddamn obsessed with you, I’m going to die from it one day,” Mikhail murmured as he trailed his kisses down the side of Fei Long’s neck and devoured the taste of the smooth, delicate skin that smelled like heaven.

“You’re such a fool,” Fei Long responded with a gentle smile as he raked his fingers through Mikhail’s golden hair, pressing the man’s face closer against his skin.

“It’s everyone else who’s an idiot,” Mikhail countered between hot, heaving breaths. Being that close to Fei Long had always driven him mad with desire, even after just a few seconds. And considering that it had been weeks since the last time they were together, his sensitivity to Fei Long had tripled in strength.

Mikhail took a mouthful of Fei Long’s flesh and sucked hard on the elegant neck as if trying to draw blood. A soft moan of satisfaction escaped Fei Long’s lips, triggering Mikhail to respond with another carnivorous bite on his neck as his strong hands forced the slender body harder against the wall.

Fei Long reached down and tugged hard on the tie of Mikhail’s robe to feel the hot, firm skin underneath. The pain on his neck and Mikhail’s desperate attempt to tear him apart with his insatiable hunger had made Fei Long impatient. The last time he had run his hands down the tight muscles that made up Mikhail’s body felt like years ago, and by then it had become something he craved.

Mikhail held his breath in anticipation as Fei Long’s soft, wet lips viciously attacked his skin and soon found their way to his nipple, causing him to groan and tighten his hand around the long, silky black hair as Fei Long bit down on it greedily. The pain and the sensation that it delivered, coupled with the fact that it was Fei Long who was craving him, nearly took away his control completely. One thing that was severely addictive about the Baishe leader, apart from his physical perfection, was the fact that Fei Long, once completely stripped down of all emotional restraints, was nothing short of a wild and dangerous leopard sexually driven to drive any man insane.

Having already lost his control together with the ability to remain gentle, Mikhail yanked the smaller man up by the hair and threw him against the wall, nailing him with the weight of his body as he tore at the silk shirt that got in the way. Fei Long let out a short, heavy moan as each of his buttons was impatiently ripped opened, exposing the sensitive skin underneath that was waiting to be touched. Rough, forceful hands dragged across the alabaster skin in an attempt to seize and possess every inch of his body, leaving obvious red marks from his chest down to the sides of his torso and across his back, to which Fei Long cried out a mixture of pained and satisfied moans, digging his own fingernails into Mikhail’s back from the sudden rush of pleasure.

Ignoring the pain and sweat that began to drip down their skin from the exertion, they attacked each other with endless, untamable desire to fulfill their hunger. With every passing minute, their actions fed more fuel to each other’s fire; with every second, they were driven closer to madness. At that moment when nothing else seemed to matter, each heaving breath was a waste of time and stopping was unquestionably fatal.

Without warning, Mikhail spun the slender body around in his arms and held him firmly against the wall. With his body pressing against Fei Long’s back and his teeth sinking deep into the long, elegant neck, he plunged himself all the way into his lover. Fei Long cried out loudly in a mixture of pain and intense pleasure, clawing his fingernails at the wall in an attempt to hold on to his sanity. Mikhail thrust harder into him with one hand around Fei Long’s waist and the other wrapped firmly around his lover’s erection, aiming to wring him dry with his every stroke. It was then that Fei Long realized, perhaps through everything that had happened coupled with the fact that it had been a while since the last time they had been with each other, he had somehow released a beast from its cage. For at that moment, he feared the man would soon rip him apart with his seemingly uncontrollable desire.

But Liu Fei Long was far from easy prey. His own craving was burning him alive, so he, too, felt the need to feed on what Mikhail had to offer. With every thrust, Fei Long pushed back against Mikhail’s hips, taking the other man’s erection deeper and harder inside, earning him a series of heavy moans and groans from the Russian that alternated with his own. He could feel Mikhail’s arms tighten around his waist, crushing him breathless as the moisture on their skin made it difficult to hold him steady.

Waves of hot, heaving breaths blew on his skin as Mikhail thrust harder and faster into him. At the same time, the roughness of Mikhail’s hand that slid up and down the overly sensitive skin of his cock was brutally pumping him dry. Desperate to hang on for dear life, Fei Long reached out and grabbed the nearby curtain, tugging it hard with his hand as Mikhail buried himself deeper and deeper until he could no longer breathe. With one last thrust and a heavy bite on his shoulder from behind, Fei Long cried out loud, ripping the curtain off the hook as they came.

They lingered there for as long as they could, just being there, taking in the presence of one another until every second was permanently carved in their memories. It wasn’t the first time they had been together, but somehow and without any sensible explanation, it felt like the last time.


	11. Chapter 11

Arbatov estate, Macau

The warm, golden light of the morning sun shone through the window and illuminated the beautiful face of the man who was still asleep on the bed. Soft, long lashes fluttered a few times to allow the amethyst eyes to adjust to the light. Still feeling tired and sleepy, Fei Long decided to linger for a few minutes under the comfort of the down duvet. It had always been difficult for him to go back to sleep once he’d awoken, especially when the bed wasn’t his. Mikhail’s bed had always been too soft and comfortable for him - so comfortable that on it he could forget everything and lose his focus. The longer he stayed, the more he feared that one day he’d no longer have the strength to leave. As the head of Baishe, that was something he could not afford.

Fei Long quietly rolled onto his side and laid his eyes on the mass of soft, golden curls on the pillow next to him, looking like a downy halo on the back of the head that was turned away. Mikhail was the only Caucasian man he’d ever been close to, and he remembered his surprise the first time he had wrapped his fingers around the soft, delicate curls of Mikhail’s hair that was a completely different texture than his and more like a newborn baby’s. Taking care not to wake the man from his sleep, Fei Long reached out to touch it and smiled thinking how much Mikhail looked like an adorable baby at that moment.

That was one of the extraordinary things about Mikhail Arbatov. In the brutal world in which they both lived, where there were more enemies than friends, Mikhail lived his life as if he was a child, eager to take on the world without fear or regret. And at the end of the day, whether he had been victorious or defeated in his dealings, he would come home and sleep peacefully like a baby.

Letting his eyes wander along the line of Mikhail’s shoulder that faced him, Fei Long paused at the sight of numerous scars that ran from the back of the shoulder to the middle of the back, reaching out to feel them with his fingers. He had seen those scars countless times before without knowing the story behind them. But now that he did, the sight of them made his own flesh ache at the thought of what could have happened to Mikhail more than a decade ago. Despite such abuse suffered by someone so young at the time, Mikhail had dealt with it more than well and without shame, or if there was any, he had hidden it perfectly.

“Do you find them disgusting?” a low, husky voice sounded from the masculine body that remained still beside him. Mikhail had been awake for quite a while, but with Fei Long’s delicate fingers tracing his skin, he didn’t want the pleasure to be interrupted by his movements. But when those fingers touched his scars, he couldn’t help but wonder.

“I don’t find anything about you disgusting,” Fei Long replied before leaning over to kiss the marks on Mikhail’s back. He had been intrigued ever since the first time he had laid eyes on them. Somewhere along the way, he had come to enjoy feeling them with his fingers, knowing that in some way, even before he had been told the story behind them, they had to be a part of what made Mikhail who he was.

“Perhaps you’d be disgusted if you knew where they came from,” Mikhail worried, still refusing to turn around and show his face. He had gotten over everything a long time ago, but when it came to how Fei Long would feel about the scars, him was still anxious.

Fei Long paused for a few seconds to make up his mind as to how he should tell Mikhail about his conversation with Alexei. Considering Mikhail’s reaction the last time they had talked about the scars, what he was about to say was going to reopen Mikhail’s old wound, which hadn’t yet healed completely.

“I already know,” Fei Long replied. There was no use trying to find a better way to put it when the result would hurt just the same.

“How?”

“From Alexei.”

Fei Long held his breath at the long pause from Mikhail, who neither moved nor turned around to face him. The only sound in the room was of Mikhail’s slow, controlled breathing. Fei Long could tell that Mikhail had been under a lot of stress by the lack of playful gestures and the number of cigarettes crushed in the ashtray on the bedside table. Those two signs had made him feel uneasy ever since he’d entered the room.

“You could have asked _me_ ,” Mikhail commented in a tone that was neither bitter nor aggressive. It sounded more like a suggestion from a man who was weary and tired. It appeared that Mikhail had come to accept the situation and was prepared to carry that weight alone.

Fei Long closed his eyes for an instant as he felt a sudden blaze of pain in his heart. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to know or didn’t care, it was because he wasn’t ready to hear it directly from Mikhail. How could he ask that question when he wasn’t in a position to give Mikhail any comfort? To ask was to prove how useless he was to the man who had loved him more than anyone.

“Alexei told me that you’re letting Yuri live here,” Fei Long continued, brushing aside the previous remark and hoping that Mikhail would let it go, at least for now.

“He has his uses,” Mikhail answered shortly without any intention to give further explanations.

“I would have killed him,” Fei Long countered. In truth, he wanted to do just that after he heard about what had happened. What Mikhail was doing didn’t just seem crazy - it was unthinkable.

“I don’t waste bullets over something that won’t make anything better.”

Mikhail had made that decision a long time ago. Killing Yuri was a waste of time and bullets, not to mention that it would have been too easy a way out for that man.

“It wouldn’t make you feel better?”

“I’d rather have him live and suffer the consequences for at least another three decades,” Mikhail answered casually. Without seeing his expression, it was difficult to tell if that statement was made with humor or true resentment. But when Mikhail made a point of keeping his back to Fei Long, it was precisely his expression that he intended to hide.

Fei Long paused for a moment to reflect on what Mikhail had told him. Perhaps Mikhail was right in some ways. And perhaps that was why he didn’t want to punish Yan for the crimes he had committed. But since Mikhail understood this so clearly, then it was time they came clean to each other about one thing.

“Then why are you after Yan?” Fei Long asked directly. Regardless of how hard Mikhail had tried to keep him out of the loop, to think Liu Fei Long was ignorant enough to not know about it was a big mistake.

The question made Mikhail turn around and look at him in surprise. Fei Long had caught him off guard with that revelation.

“Who says I’m after Yan Tsui?” Mikhail asked with a hint of irritation in his voice. He was sure he had strictly forbidden Alexei from uttering a word of it to anyone, most of all to Fei Long.

“You don’t seriously believe that you, Asami, and Toh are the only ones able to send moles into other people’s organizations, do you?” Fei Long questioned with a slightly annoyed expression. “Or do you think I’m stupid?”

Mikhail closed his eyes for a second and let out a heavy sigh. Even though it wasn’t his intention to do things behind Fei Long’s back, he would rather take care of the mess caused by his father’s attempt to get Fei Long out of his life, by himself and hopefully without Fei Long being involved.

Mikhail sat up to reach into the almost-empty aluminum case of Treasurer Black cigarettes* on the bedside table, and then leaned back on the pillow beside Fei Long. His blue eyes gazed off into the distance as he lit the cigarette with a silver lighter.

“With Yan Tsui, it’s another story,” he explained, filling his lungs with the strong yet refined smoke. “He’s a threat to you.”

Fei Long reached out for the cigarette in Mikhail’s mouth and took a hit before returning it to the other’s lips. “And you think I’m incapable of dealing with a threat,” the Baishe leader said as a statement of fact, rather than a question. The fact that Mikhail had already made a move was proof enough of his thoughts.

“Fei Long,” Mikhail responded, returning Fei Long’s gaze with the same intensity, “regardless of whether or not you’re capable of dealing with a threat - which I know you are - I do have every right to protect someone I love.”

“You mean, regardless of how I feel, you’ll do what you want to do?” Fei Long scornfully interpreted Mikhail’s words. In reality, he should have felt flattered, but at that moment, his ego made him feel quite the opposite.

At the reproach, Mikhail’s blue eyes suddenly turned hostile.

“If it were up to me and not how you feel, your Asami Ryuichi would be dead already, not just your brother,” Mikhail said in a harsh, intimidating tone. The truth was that it had taken him all his control and cost him all his pride not to kill that Japanese man simply because Fei Long wanted the bastard alive and Mikhail had wanted to respect that wish.

Fei Long turned away and hid his expression behind a curtain of black hair that slipped down over his shoulders. What Mikhail had said was true, and he regretted having allowed his ego to overwhelm him in their conversation. Considering the situation and their past relationship, the one whose pride had been damaged the most was Mikhail.

Removing the black and gold cigarette from his lips and resting it on a nearby ashtray, Mikhail reached for Fei Long’s hand. Seeing that reaction from Fei Long made him realize that he had just placed another burden on his lover’s already troubled mind, which hadn’t been his intention at all.

“I know you want to resolve your issues with Asami, and then there’s Baishe you have to protect. Those are the two most important things in your life right now,” Mikhail said as he gently squeezed the hand in his. “But you can’t do both, Fei.”

No matter how painful it was for him to confirm that he wasn’t, and perhaps might never be, a priority in Fei Long’s life, at that moment, Fei Long needed to know that he understood, and that Fei Long would always have his support.

“Perhaps you’re right. But you’re wrong about one thing.” Fei Long rose from the bed and covered himself with a robe that had been left draped over a nearby couch, before turning around and pausing in front of Mikhail. Long, elegant fingers slid amongst the curls of the glittering golden hair, which was somewhat of a mess, and stroked it lovingly.

“While those two things are my priority, the reason I’m confronting him right now is because of you.” Fei Long admitted. Even though he could tell from the look on Mikhail’s face that his words weren’t enough to convince him of the fact that Mikhail was important to him, those baby blue eyes did light up a little, and a gentle smile slowly reappeared on the handsome face.

“Liar,” Mikhail playfully taunted as he wrapped his arms around Fei Long’s waist and pulled him closer. He knew too well the true extent of his importance to Fei Long, but just for that moment, he wanted to believe whatever lie Fei Long chose to tell him.

“Hey, at least I didn’t say I love you,” Fei Long argued, the sadness in his eyes showing it wasn’t as funny as he had meant it to be. He had never known love enough to rightfully say he loved someone, even when the one man who deserved to hear it was right in front of him.

“Now that would be a flat-out lie,” Mikhail said with a chuckle as he caught Fei Long’s hand and kissed the palm that seemed too delicate to be that of an assassin’s. “But every once in a while, I wish you’d lie to me,” Mikhail pleaded with a faint smile on his face. Even if it weren’t true, he would still love to hear it.

The same long, elegant fingers pushed back the soft curls from the baby blue eyes that looked at Fei Long more lovingly than anyone ever had. Sometimes Fei Long wondered what he had done to deserve such affection. Mikhail could have had any man or woman at his feet with a snap of his fingers, and yet he had chosen to pursue someone who could give him nothing but pain and trouble.

“Perhaps when all this is over, I’ll try lying for a change,” Fei Long replied and smiled gently as he planted a soft kiss on Mikhail’s forehead, lingering there for a few seconds to inhale the faint scent of musk and bergamot in Mikhail’s hair.

“Anyway, I have to go,” Fei Long noted after taking a brief look at his watch.

“So soon?” Mikhail protested.

“I have some very important things to do,” Fei Long replied, extricating himself from the warm embrace. Heading towards the bathroom for a shower, Fei Long paused along the way to pick up his clothes scattered on the floor from the previous night, as Mikhail put on his own robe and then sat on the bed watching quietly. For some reason, Mikhail didn’t like the sound of that excuse, especially since it reminded him of something.

“Fei,” he called after him. “When’s the exchange?”

Fei Long immediately paused and glanced over his shoulder. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned. He had been with Mikhail long enough to know what the man must be thinking by asking that question.

“What? You seriously think I’d let you go meet him alone?” Mikhail protested as he rose from the bed and followed Fei Long into the walk-in closet connected to the bathroom.

“That’s exactly what you WILL do,” Fei Long ordered as he picked up his silk shirt and started to examine its condition in an attempt to ignore Mikhail’s complaints on the topic.

“What’s this? I can’t wear this,” Fei Long exclaimed as he pointed out the missing buttons on his shirt before tossing the damaged silk garment at the man who had been following him around the room. “Fix it for me.”

“What do you mean, ‘fix it’? Like right now?” Mikhail asked, astonished by the sudden strange request.

“Like while I take a shower.”

“And how would I do that, exactly?”

“Sew,” Fei Long replied innocently.

The Russian mafia leader blinked a few times at the unfamiliar word he hadn’t had to deal with for more than two decades. “What makes you think I can sew?”

“Well, you can cook, can’t you?” Fei Long explained as if it was the most natural thing to assume. To him it was, anyway.

“What the hell does that mean?” Mikhail asked, dumbfounded by what had to be the weirdest assumption he’d ever heard. “And don’t change the subje…”

Before he could say anything else, Fei Long grabbed the collar of Mikhail’s robe and yanked him down into a kiss.

“Sew,” Fei Long repeated with a sweet smile and a few pats on Mikhail’s cheek before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving the other man standing speechless while holding a shirt in one hand. If there was one thing Liu Fei Long knew how to do brilliantly, it was to get Mikhail Arbatov to do precisely what he wanted. And even though the main point was to distract Mikhail from the subject of the exchange, Fei Long couldn’t help but wonder if Mikhail would be as adorable working with a needle and thread as when he worked in the kitchen.

When he’d finished his shower, Fei Long slipped into the robe again before stepping into the sitting area of Mikhail’s bedroom, only to find himself smiling at the rare and endearing sight before him. Despite all his protests earlier, Mikhail was sitting on a couch concentrating on sewing the shirt buttons back on, with his brows slightly squeezed together as he tackled the delicate task unsuited to his big, strong hands.

Fei Long stepped quietly behind the Mafioso-turned-seamstress and peeked over Mikhail’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and planting a soft kiss on Mikhail’s left cheek affectionately. “You’re sewing.”

“Well, you just told me to, Your Highness,” Mikhail shot back sarcastically as he tried to suppress the smile on his face. The truth was that he’d sew every damn day if it would earn him that kind of affection from Fei Long.

“You’d do everything I say?” Fei Long teased as he seated himself on the facing couch to better enjoy the view.

“Whatever you want, Your Majesty,” Mikhail obediently replied without looking up from the task at hand, waiting for Fei Long to come up with something outrageous for him to do. He didn’t mind being teased and played with so much, mainly because if Fei Long wanted to play, it also meant that his lover enjoyed his presence.

“Don’t go to the exchange,” Fei Long commanded after a moment’s pause.

Mikhail looked up to see a brilliant pair of amethyst eyes staring at him assertively as a suffocating silence occupied the room. The gentle smile had disappeared from that beautiful face.

“Maybe I won’t,” Mikhail responded carelessly and went back to sewing. There was no use arguing over the issue with Fei Long, who was going to find a way to stop him in the end anyway. He might as well try to be agreeable without promising anything.

“And don’t kill my brother,” Fei Long continued with the same assertive expression and tone.

“Are you talking about Yan Tsui or Toh?”

“Yan,” Fei Long replied without a second thought. “The other one - please, by all means, kill him for me.” He’d never once considered that pompous prick to be his brother. And what had happened in the photographs convinced him that he’d prefer Phillip Toh die a violent death for laying a hand on his property.

“You know I can’t promise that if he threatens your life.”

“If it ever comes to that, I’ll do it myself,” Fei Long declared. Whatever Yan may have done, and regardless of whether they shared the same blood, Yan was still the only brother he had ever known. But that didn’t mean he didn’t know the kind of man his brother was, or that he would let Yan threaten his life without doing something about it.

Mikhail looked up once more and held Fei Long’s gaze in what turned into a battle of wills between the two men. But Mikhail soon realized from the fire in those eyes that Fei Long had meant what he said. If the situation called for it, he had no doubt that the head of Baishe would be more than capable of accomplishing the task. After all, Fei Long wasn’t just some weakling who had no courage to do what needed to be done.

“If you say so, Your Highness,” Mikhail replied with a shrug before he rose from the couch and dropped the shirt into Fei Long’s lap. “There. That should do for now.”

Fei Long gave Mikhail a suspicious look before deciding to drop the issue, and then picked up the mended shirt from his lap to dress himself. Knowing Mikhail, he wasn’t at all convinced by what the cunning Russian had promised - if those responses could be counted as a promise at all. But since Mikhail had made a point of avoiding an argument, he didn’t want to ruin the peace they had just made.

When he’d finished dressing, Fei Long praised his new tailor, who was seated again on the couch smoking another cigarette while watching him with more than professional interest. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” He leaned over to kiss the other man on the cheek before taking away the cigarette from Mikhail’s lips and placing it between his own, flippantly remarking before he headed for the door. “Don’t smoke too much - it’s not good for you.”

Mikhail stood with both hands in his pockets and smiled. He wished Fei Long would stay longer, but the expression on that beautiful face told him that Fei Long had made up his mind to leave, and nothing he said could ever change it.

“Hey, if you want one, light your own,” Mikhail jokingly protested. Fei Long didn’t usually smoke, but for some strange reason, he liked to steal a cigarette from him every time Mikhail did.

Fei Long paused to glance roguishly over his shoulder with the stolen cigarette dangling between his lips. “They taste better after being in your mouth,” Fei Long replied with a wink before leaving the room.

As the door closed, the smile on Mikhail’s face slowly faded. He grabbed the cigarette case and placed yet another cigarette between his lips, lighting it with the sterling silver lighter as he thought of what Fei Long had previously asked of him about the exchange. There were a lot of things he would have done for Fei Long under normal circumstances. But what was asked of him that day wasn’t exactly doable.

_Don’t go to the exchange._

A mischievous smile slowly reappeared on the handsome face as he puffed on his third cigarette of the morning.

“The hell I won’t.”

 

***

 

It was only 6:30 in the morning when Fei Long came down the stairs of the Arbatov mansion and found Alexei in the drawing room. The man was still in his pajamas and robe, holding a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Доброе утро,”** the other master of the house greeted him in Russian with his usual playful tone that resembled his brother’s, but with a more mischievous ring to it. “You’re looking well.”

“Good morning,” Fei Long replied in a little surprise. He had to admit, he’d never thought Alexei would be a morning person. But that day, the man didn’t look like he had woken up by his own free will. “You look awful,” Fei Long returned the compliment with a devilish smile.

“You two were so damn loud I couldn’t sleep last night. I think the whole house heard you,” Alexei teased.

“You’re just jealous,” Fei Long playfully accused with no trace of embarrassment over the remark. By then, he had already learned not to take Alexei too seriously. On top of which, there wasn’t anything shameful about having sex with Mikhail, at least in his opinion.

“Not at all. I’ve made you scream louder before, remember?” Alexei mischievously insinuated as he stepped closer to the man whose presence had never ceased to arouse him. Fei Long had practically ruined his experience with any other men from the moment he had gotten a taste of the dragon.

“Hmmm… a single tab of ecstacy works wonders, doesn’t it?” Fei Long reminded him, making a subtle yet enticing purr in his throat as he continued in a seductive whisper, “You should hear me scream without one.”

“How about we try it next time?” Alexei smiled and slipped his arm around the slender body, thinking how the sight of Fei Long could make him salivate every time, even without that purr making it much more difficult for him not to taste the forbidden fruit.

“How about I tell your brother?” Fei Long replied with an innocent smile, completely unaffected by the inappropriate invasion of personal space. He had to admit he found teasing Alexei quite enjoyable lately.

“You’re such a vindictive bitch, you know that?” Alexei frowned humorously.

“I’m _his_ bitch, not yours.” Fei Long grinned and patted the devil’s cheek a few times as he spoke. “Now, will you make yourself useful and get me a cup of coffee, baby brother?”

Alexei laughed in amusement at the words “baby brother,” before removing his arm from the slender body and taking a step back. He was rather glad to see Fei Long with the same spirit he used to have, rather than the depressing state of mind he was in just a few days ago. It was important that Fei Long gain his strength back. No matter how tough Mikhail might appear, Alexei knew his brother needed Fei Long’s strength just as much in order to stay focused.

“I have to go anyway,” Fei Long ended the conversation and excused himself. As extraordinary as it might seem, ever since Mikhail had returned from Russia after the wedding, Alexei had been treating Fei Long rather differently. While he still enjoyed occasional teasing to test his limits, Alexei’s advances had been restricted to a certain point beyond which he had shown no intention to cross. It was with this understanding that Fei Long had allowed Alexei to become somewhat of a friend.

“Fei Long.” Alexei stopped him before he left the room. “Mikhail needs you, you know? Don’t leave him again.”

“I know,” Fei Long turned around and replied with a reassuring smile. “You watch his back for me.” Having known Mikhail too well, he couldn’t help but throw out such a request. Mikhail had it in him to do indescribably crazy things that people in their right minds would never dream of. It made Mikhail unpredictable, but it also placed him in the line of fire.

There was a brief moment of silence from Alexei after Fei Long spoke, followed by the kind of serious smile Fei Long had never before seen on Alexei’s face.

“You go and finish what you’ve started,” Alexei advised, his green eyes looking straight into those of his brother’s lover to emphasize every word. “And when you’re done, you come home. He’ll be here.”

Fei Long felt his heart stand still for a moment at the word “home” from Alexei’s lips. “Home” - a place he’d always associated with emptiness, regrets, and memories he didn’t want to keep; a place that had held a father whose love he struggled to earn, a brother who despised him, and a childhood when his existence was unacknowledged. That was the only home he had ever known – the one he had grown up in. But hearing the word from Alexei now had given him a glimpse of what it really meant. Perhaps its true meaning lay in the warmth that made him come back time and time again to Mikhail’s embrace, in the feeling that there was a place where someone awaited him with open arms whether he’d failed or succeeded. In that sense, Alexei was right. In Mikhail’s arms was a place called home, to where he could always return.

“Thank you, Alexei,” Fei Long said sincerely. “For everything.”

 

***

 

‘Interrogation Room B, 30th floor’, Yoh thought quietly to himself as he opened his eyes. It had taken him one glance at his surroundings to figure out where he was. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he knew the place like the back of his hand, having executed many men there over the past seven years.

Feeling drops of ice-cold water trickling down the side of his forehead and into his eye, Yoh blinked a few times to clear his vision. The fact that he was still alive had come as a surprise to him. Though it was almost impossible to find a part of his body that hadn’t been generously beaten by the men he used to work with (more because they wanted to, rather than because they were ordered to), he could still see no reason why he had been left alive. Fei Long, being far from stupid, should have already figured out everything by now. Even the men who were in charge of interrogating him didn’t understand why he had been spared. Not that he thought Fei Long would tell his thoughts to a bunch of low-level subordinates anyway.

A soft click of the door signified the start of another round of beating. Yoh found himself smiling at the thought of the pain that would soon follow. Anything was better than just sitting there thinking about what his betrayal must have done to Fei Long or the knowledge that his days beside that person had just come to an end. At that moment, anything that could overshadow the pain in his heart was welcome.

A familiar scent of exotic flowers reached his nose and stirred him from his thoughts. He had learned that scent by heart years ago for him to immediately know who had just entered the room without having to lift his face and see for himself. That, and the quiet footsteps accompanied by the rustling sound of a silk cheongsam, had always given the man away.

“Leave us,” a silky smooth voice sounded, followed by the clicking of the door being closed behind the departing men.

Fei Long took a step forward and looked at the man who had been handcuffed to a pipe, soaking wet from a mixture of blood, water, and gasoline. The prisoner kept his gaze on the floor without making a move or sound to acknowledge the man who could at any minute condemn him to death. That attitude was generally interpreted as disrespect. But it was that pride and stubbornness in Yoh that had earned him a place near Fei Long’s heart, if not in it.

“My most loyal bodyguard of seven years beaten to a pulp…” Fei Long mused to himself as he gazed at the bruised and battered body on the floor. By the looks of it, there wasn’t a man left in Baishe who hadn’t had a turn in beating up the spy. By then the whole organization had probably learned of his betrayal. And being a man who’d had the privilege to be in the master’s inner circle for seven years, it was only natural that no one would take the insult lightly.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the prisoner spoke with whatever strength he had left to get out those words. It didn’t look good for Fei Long to visit him in private after what had happened. There had been enough unrest among the subordinates as it was with regards to Fei Long’s actions.

“You are no longer in a position to advise me,” Fei Long replied in a cold, commanding tone. “Regardless of how much of an idiot you think I am, I own this place, and I will do as I please.”

A pair of sharp, brown eyes lifted and stared at the man he used to call master. Even after being beaten to that extent, there was stubbornness in those eyes yet. It reminded Fei Long how the man used to show his anger through those eyes instead of using words. He had come to respect Yoh’s point of view and approval in many things while they worked together, just by looking into those eyes, never thinking for once that they had been controlled by someone else.

“Then do as you please,” Yoh replied. “I’m a traitor - what more do you want from me?”

Fei Long lowered his gaze to the man on the floor. It amazed him how much Yoh’s tone had changed after he revealed his true identity. The pride in that tone had confirmed his presumption. This man who Fei Long had always believed was a loyal subordinate had never placed himself under him. Not once.

“What do you think?” Fei Long asked as he stepped closer and confronted the man whose gaze had no intention of backing down. “Now that I’ve found out who you are, you can’t read my mind anymore?”

Averting his gaze back down to the floor, Yoh refused to respond to the question that he knew in his heart Fei Long had asked just to inflict pain on him as a form of punishment. They had been in each other’s lives long enough for Fei Long to know his words were more than enough to leave a scar.

“Tell me why,” Fei Long asked, his hawk-like eyes glowing as they tried to peer into the other man’s soul. Even though he’d already known the answer in his own heart, he wanted to hear it from those lips that had been lying to him for the past seven years.

“I work for Asami-sama. I always have,” Yoh replied without a trace of shame in his voice. It was his job, his duty, to carry out what he had promised to do, regardless of how he felt and how much it had pained him to do it. And at that moment, for once in his life, he wanted to tell Fei Long the truth.

 _Asami-sama._ Fei Long repeated the words in his mind. He wondered if there had ever been a time when Yoh had called him with the same respect in his voice.

“So he told you to steal the deed?” In Fei Long’s mind, he wasn’t convinced. The Asami he knew wasn’t the kind of man who’d use such a method to get something he wanted. What Fei Long wanted to know was whether Yoh had knowingly picked the strategy that would strike Fei Long at his heart and then deliver it to Asami.

“Stealing the deed was my idea. He would have raided Baishe otherwise,” Yoh confessed. To him, the latter option was something he could not let happen.

“And you did it to protect him.”

The sharp brown eyes held Fei Long’s gaze as he relayed the truth from his heart. “I did it to protect you.”

Fei Long stared blankly at his ex-subordinate as he realized what it meant. Just when he thought his conclusion was the worst it could have ever been, Yoh had outdone himself once again. He’d never realized, in this man’s eyes, Liu Fei Long of Baishe had lost the battle even before Asami decided to wage war against him.

“How noble of you, my valiant knight,” Fei Long said with sarcasm etched in his every word. All this time, he must have been some kind of pathetic loser whom Asami found insignificant, a fool on whom Yoh took pity.

“But I suppose I have to thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson,” Fei Long continued with an expression that was more sorrowful than cynical. Regardless of what Yoh truly thought of him, and even if everything had been a lie, he was about to lose someone with whom he had shared a part of his life for more than seven years. It was his life’s story repeating over and over again. At the end of the day, everyone found a reason to leave him.

Some things just didn’t change no matter how hard one tried. Twenty-eight years later and he was still the same unwanted child, undeserving of love, loyalty, or respect.

“Here.” He tossed a small key on the floor in front of his prisoner. “I trust someone like you shouldn’t have a problem finding your way out of here alive.”

Yoh stared at the key and then looked at Fei Long in disbelief. “You’re letting me go?”

A smile of contentment graced the beautiful face as he realized the answer to the question. It was in that moment that Fei Long finally understood the meaning behind Mikhail’s words about why Yuri had been left alive.

“Someone once told me to never waste a bullet on something that won’t make anything better,” Fei Long replied calmly as he stepped closer and lifted the blood-stained face with the fingertips of one hand to meet those proud, brown eyes. In them, he used to find safety and reliability. He had imagined his life ten, twenty years from then, with Yoh right by his side. It was easy to find a friend or ally, but a partner who understood him without having to utter a word was something he might not find ever again. But in the end, and once more, his feelings had turned out to be one-sided.

“Your loyalty is unquestionable, and your sense of duty makes you a very honorable man,” Fei Long complimented him with sincerity and admiration in his tone. “But if after seven years of being by my side, you still can’t find it in you to dedicate yourself to me, for whatever reasons,“ Fei Long paused and withdrew his hand from Yoh’s chin before the silky-smooth voice delivered the brutal truth as sharply as a fine katana, “then you have no value to me, either dead or alive.”

Having Yoh as a loyal subordinate had always been one of the few things he believed he had done right. Unfortunately, everything had always been an illusion.

“I don’t need an honorable man, Yoh,” Fei Long added with sadness and regret in his tone. “I need someone who will stand by me.”

Yoh smiled to himself grimly as he listened in silence. Fei Long couldn’t have chosen better words to condemn a traitor for the crime he had committed. He could only blame himself for his own weakness that had made him fall for Fei Long, knowing that one day he would have to betray that trust he had earned. It was a choice he had made based on who he was as a man, even if it would split his heart in two, and he had made it with no regrets. This was who he was, a man who would choose his pledge over his heart. Even if he could start it all over again without Asami in the picture, his relationship with Fei Long would still have ended the same way. For what Fei Long needed the most, he didn’t have it in him to give.

“Tell Asami he’s won this round. And tell him he’s fortunate to have a subordinate like you,” Fei Long said as he wiped the traitor’s blood off his fingertips. “But most importantly, tell him Liu Fei Long isn’t the kind of man who’d just curl up and admit defeat, not before I drag him and everyone who’s ever stood against Baishe down to hell with me.”

Be it his fate or his curse that made things the way they were, he was never going to go down without a fight.

 

 

***

*Treasurer Black (produced by British-based company Chancellor)  
[[http://www.chancellor-tobacco.com/Cigarettes.html]](http://www.chancellor-tobacco.com/Cigarettes.html%5D)

** “Good Morning” in Russian. (correct me if the Internet is wrong XD).


	12. Chapter 12

A black limousine closely led and followed by two black BMWs came to a stop at the gate to an unreasonably large estate befitting of a residence in Victoria peak, Hong Kong's most expensive address. The first car’s driver rolled down the solidly tinted window and announced his master's visit to one of the guards that were as heavily armed as the excessive number of security cameras that occupied the area like a fortress. A few minutes of waiting for the permission from the inside, the cars were allowed to pass.

Fei Long stepped out of the limousine in a clean, white shirt and a sleek, black jacket. His long black hair was tied back neatly, showing off his uniquely beautiful face and well-defined cheekbone. Five bodyguards surrounded him as he ascended the steps toward the front door where a butler had been waiting to receive the unexpected guest. Fei Long frowned at the old man as he was greeted. For a man of his status, it was considered rude for the master of the house to not come out and greet him in person. But considering their relationship at that moment, Fei Long had already predicted the said public display of disrespect for Baishe and him in particular. Fortunately for his host, that day it only contributed to heighten his satisfaction when he thought about what he was about to do during his surprise visit.

As they came to another door, his bodyguards were stopped and asked to remain outside while their master was thoroughly frisked for concealed weapon. Fei Long signaled his men to comply with a slight nod. Having no weapon or bodyguard had never been a problem for him. He didn't like getting his hands dirty, but when the situation calls for it, they could easily finish the job just as effectively as a knife or a gun, if not better in the sense that they leave no evidence, and the job is usually much easier to clean up afterwards.

Inside, a Chinese man clad in light blue cheongsam sat behind a large, teak desk with excessive carvings on its legs and sides- one Fei Long would have ordered to be burned down at the first sight of it had it been in his study. And for a second he thought of how foolish he was for believing the lie he had been fed with less than twenty-four hours ago. How could he not see it that the truth had been right in front of him all along. It simply wasn't possible that this man could have attracted Mikhail in any way.

"I never thought in a million years that you would pay me a surprise visit, Fei Long," greeted the man behind the desk with no intention to hide his sneer. Toh's brown eyes traveled up and down the unexpected guest whose presence seemed to overshadow his every time they'd met, even when the man was wearing a remarkably simple attire. Fei Long could always irritate him just for being in the same room.

"Don't be alarmed. I'm only here to give you back what belongs to you," Fei Long replied as he seated himself on the chair across the desk, bringing his long leg over to rest comfortably on the other and ignoring the lack of hospitality from the man he knew despised him more than anyone.

"And what might that be?" Phillip Toh asked with a fake smile. For a man as proud as Fei Long, he could imagine what had happened last night, right after the arrival of a certain evidence, which should explain why the man had come to see him. To keep his dignity as the head of Baishe, Fei Long had to show just how insignificant his Russian love interest was to him rather than admitting defeat.

"A man with very intriguing eyes," Fei Long replied as he leaned back on the chair in a more comfortable position.

"They're not blue, are they?" Toh asked with a somewhat triumphant look on his face. He had been waiting for this moment ever since his men had informed him of Fei Long's sudden and hostile visit to the Arbatov villa the night before.

"Unfortunately, they're brown," the silky-smooth voice suddenly showed a hint of playfulness as the Baishe leader reached into his pocket and placed a small box in front of him - an action that had instantly brought about a change of expression on Toh's face. Fei Long suppressed a smile as he watched his rival reached for it in curiosity before he slowly opened the lid to see the content inside.

There was a long pause from Toh, followed by a hint of irritation in his eyes that seemed to have slipped from the man's attempt to control his anger and remain calm. The young leader of the Toh family looked at the dark brown human eyeball in the box for a few seconds before closing the lid and placing it back on the desk.

"Pity," Toh said as he carelessly pushed the box away with the tip of his fingers. He knew exactly whose eyeball it had been even without checking. The mole he had sent into Baishe had not yet reported back since the day before.

"Indeed," Fei Long added. Toh should never have expected him to sit still and allow himself to become a victim of some sick and tasteless drama the man was trying to create. He was, after all, Liu Fei Long of Baishe. Anyone who took his patience for granted had to be taught a lesson. "The rest of your men will be delivered in the same manner, unless, of course, you'd prefer to receive other parts instead. I'll be happy to arrange it for you."

For a while, Phillip Toh sat across the table in absolute silence, his hawk-like eyes held Fei Long's unyielding gaze without any intention to back down from the challange. The fact that Fei Long had come to his home and confronted him in such a manner had filled him with rage he hadn't felt ever since he'd found his mother's dead body hanging from the ceiling - the consequence of his father's obsession with none other but the woman who gave birth to the man now sitting in front of him. This man, or to label him correctly, his father's bastard son, had been a pebble in his shoe for longer than two decades that to kill him just wouldn't be satisfying enough.

"You're here to declare war with me then, Fei Long?"

"As far as I'm concerned, you've already declared one with me the moment you've decided to interfere with my personal life." Fei Long countered with a glare. An attack through business dealings was something Fei Long had to deal with on a daily basis and could still find patience for, but an assault aimed at his personal life or family was something he did not forgive. Phillip Toh had crossed the line the moment he had brought Mikhail Arbatov into their quarrel.

"I take it you like my little present then?" Toh asked with a sneer. How he wished he could have seen Fei Long's face when the pictures arrived.

"I admit it made a rather big impact," Fei Long replied as he tilted his head to one side, revealing the nape of his bare neck rising from the collar of his shirt whose first few buttons had been left undone on purpose. "But then again, I have to thank you for such an exhilarating night I haven't had for quite a while." As always, Mikhail had left his marks bold and clear. It was one of Mikhail's bad habits - intentionally bruising him in places that were the hardest to hide. But that day it had proven to be rather useful, for at the sight of them, even though the man had tried to conceal it, Fei Long could see clearly the jealousy in Toh's eyes.

"How strange," Toh commented in a calm manner despite the anger that was continuing to rise in his chest. "He seemed quite agreeable about coming to me when I made him an offer."

"I wouldn't believe everything Mikhail says," Fei Long countered with a devilish smile. "On top of that he usually changes his mind every five minutes or so," Anyone who knew anything about Mikhail wouldn't doubt Fei Long’s words. And if that was Toh's second attempt to break him then it had failed miserably. The Mikhail he knew had no conscience. Had he desired Toh he wouldn't have thought it was necessary to go through the trouble of lying about it or concealing it in anyway. After all, this was a man who openly told his wife without shame that he was going to cheat on her with no trouble whatsoever. As cruel as it may seem, to Fei Long it was an act of a true gentleman.

Before Toh had responded, Fei Long abruptly straightened himself in his chair as he suddenly sensed someone else's presence inside the room.

"How many times exactly have you allowed that filthy foreigner to take you?" a familiar voice sounded from behind.

Fei Long recognized that voice without having to turn around to see the intruder. There was only one man who'd ever spoken to him with that tone - one that was filled with familiarity and yet at the same time noticeably dominating in the most degrading way. Only Yan Tsui could make him feel so insignificant and worthless with just a few words. Only the man he'd considered his only brother, still, and after all that had happened, could make him despise himself that much.

"Too many times than you can imagine, brother," Fei Long replied sarcastically as he turned around to face the brother he hadn't seen for over seven years.

Behind him, Liu Yan Tsui was standing proud in his cheongsam with the usual air of arrogance surrounding his presence. He had gotten much thinner, and in his brown eyes showed a man with troubled and dreadful past. There were obvious signs of aging on his face that made him resemble their father much more then than he used to. That fact alone made Fei Long feel sick to his stomach, feeling as if the old man had been there to reprimand him in person in the form of his son. But the one thing Fei Long could see with utmost clarity was that this man he'd still found it in him to call a brother still despised him to the core.

"I see now you're doing it openly. You intend to shame father and the Liu family as much as you can now, don't you?" Yan Tsui commented scornfully as he always had, never forgetting to bring up their father to strike him where it would hurt the most.

"No more than you've intended to shame both by siding with our enemy." Fei Long stood his ground. Yan's unaccompanied appearance in that room had proven he had not been captured, but rather invited to stay with the Toh. By then Fei Long understood it clearly, his brother and Toh had been conspiring against him to give Yan Tsui back the power, which was probably why Mikhail had felt the need to interfere.

"There's no shame in trying to get back what has been taken from me by an _illegitimate_ son," Yan reminded his brother.

Fei Long clenched his fists as he faced the same insult he'd had to swallow quietly everyday ever since he was a child. He had thought all the time he'd had to endure these insults and degrading remarks had been over, and even if it hadn't, then he would have grown strong enough to no longer be affected by them. But despite all his efforts to appear impervious to Yan's words, deep down he was still the same child he was decades ago. It had never occurred to him until then, that the only thing that had changed was his ability to hide it.

"This _illegitimate_ son is the one in power whether you like it or not," Fei Long shot back with a glare. He wasn't going to show his weakness in that room, not with Toh sitting there, obviously enjoying the scene. "If you want to get back in, you'll have to come and work for me."

"I see you've gotten more ambitious," Yan Tsui responded sneeringly as he stepped closer and reached out his hand to touch his brother's flawless face. Fei Long had always been beautiful, but maturity certainly had turned him even more striking and magnificent in appearance. So much that Yan Tsui found himself holding his breath at the first sight of his brother after nearly a decade of being apart. And at that moment, the need to possess the little brother he'd both loved and despised at the same time had overcome him once more. "That's an improvement, among other things."

Fei Long felt his stomach turn from the inappropriate and unnecessary contact that brought back memories he thought he'd already left behind. He backed away slowly, trying to remain calm and compose when in truth he wanted to leave that very second.

"Ambitious? Not at all. But I'm not going to sit still and watch anything or anyone be taken away from me ever again. You'd do well to remember it, brother."

At the end of the sentence, Fei Long spun around and left the room without taking another glance back at either of the men he'd then declared his enemies. How pathetic it was that his half brother and his stepbrother, both of them being the only family members he had known that was still alive in this world had turned out to be his worst enemies. By then he hated his fate to the core, but most of all, he hated himself for still allowing Yan Tsui to have so much power over his emotion.

Fei Long rushed out of the house, leaving his bodyguards running to catch up with their master. Stepping into the car without waiting for the door to be opened for him, the Baishe leader sank himself into the leather seat and opened wide the window. He could still feel that touch from Yan's hand that made his stomach turn. Waves of memories came crashing into his head like lightings, making him want to vomit at every strike. The frustration of not being able to escape the dreadful past that had finally caught up with him made him wish he could leave his body that seemed more and more like a cage in which he had been confined for decades.

"Where to, sir?" the driver asked cautiously, sensing immediately that something had gone wrong in that house.

"Take me back to HQ," Fei Long responded with his eyes closed and his head tilted back on the headrest, wishing that there were something he could take or do to stop the sickening feeling that seemed to have spread underneath every inch of his skin.

Without thinking, he reached for his mobile phone and dialed a number. It rang twice before Fei Long realized what he was doing and decided to hang up abruptly.

'He truly was out of his mind,' Fei Long thought to himself.

More than half an hour of being stuck in Hong Kong's traffic before the limousine had reached Baishe headquarter had left Fei Long both tired and restless. He stepped out of the car as fast as he could and headed straight to the building's entrance. From the corner of his eyes, just before he'd entered, something caught his attention.

A bright yellow Lamborghini.

Fei Long paused and turned around to the obscenely conspicuous car only one man he knew of had been bold enough to ride and park in the no-parking zone in front of his building. And just as he thought, Mikhail was standing by the car, most likely waiting for him.

With a simple gesture from Fei Long, the bodyguards complied and obediently provided their master the privacy he commanded. Fei Long walked across the street and paused just an arm's length before the man in a leather jacket as eye-catching as his ride.

"What are you doing here?" Fei Long asked. Having just left the Arbatov estate the day before, he certainly hadn't expected to see Mikhail again so soon.

Mikhail smiled. "You called me."

"I dialed the wrong number," Fei Long turned away from those blue eyes in an attempt to hide his expression. He knew he was blushing not to mention it had to be the lamest excuse he'd ever come up with.

"The Fei Long I know never dials a wrong number. And if he does, then there's even more reason for me to be here," Mikhail argued. The fact that Fei Long had called him and hung up was clear enough for him to know something had gone wrong. "Especially right after you've been to see Phillip Toh."

Fei Long frowned at the leaked information no one was suppose to know. "How many moles do you still have in Baishe?"

"Only the ones you've decided to turn a blind eye to," Mikhail replied casually as if he'd never had an intention to keep it a secret. Fei Long may have a heart of gold when it comes to those he loves, but he was far from being naive and innocent. For Mikhail to try to hide it would have been considered and insult. They were both criminals and equally crooked in their ways of dealing with life and business, and neither of them had ever intended to hide or pretend it was otherwise. It was in that sense, that their relationship was both honest and mature.

Fei Long smiled at the rather casual confession. For Mikhail to have sent several moles into his organization was undoubtedly deceitful which was among the man's bad habits that still infuriated Fei Long every time it had entered his mind. But somehow Mikhail could always find a way to get himself out of trouble and made him forget the issue in the most flattering way. He had always known about Mikhail's moles just as Mikhail had been gaining satisfaction in the knowledge that he knew and had decided to leave them there. It was one of the games they played hat kept their relationship interesting.

With both hands still in his pockets, Fei Long leaned forward and rested his forehead on Mikhail's masculine shoulder. He didn't want to appear weak or that he was in need of support and had kept his contact minimal for that purpose. But at that moment he knew he was in no condition to go through with the exchange that was happening that night and Mikhail had been the only one in his life who could always give in the strength he needed.

"I saw him," Fei Long confessed.

"Who?" Mikhail asked, trying the best he could to suppress the urge to wrap his arms around the slender body in front of him. Something about Fei Long that day told him it wasn’t what he needed.

"Yan," Fei Long replied quietly as he closed his eyes and buried himself in the soft lambskin jacket that covered Mikhail's solid shoulder.

"Did you beat the crap out of him?"

Fei Long chuckled quietly in his throat as he heard the unexpected response. "I'm not so sure what he said was entirely wrong."

Mikhail just shrugged. "I'd still beat the crap out of him if it makes you feel better."

This time Fei Long's laugh could be heard more clearly. He'd almost forgotten how Mikhail always had a way of justifying an immoral act and made them seem appropriate. The Russian's strange personality could always make the weight in his chest miraculously disappear with just a few simple words. But that day it wasn't just his twisted logic that made Fei Long breathe better, it was the implication in those words, that no matter how the world saw him, what he had done in the past, whether he was an orphan, an unwanted child, or a someone who had been severely tainted and damaged, none of it made a single difference to Mikhail. In this man’s eyes, he would always be someone worth protecting at all costs whether or not he needed the protection.

"You must think I'm stupid," Fei Long couldn't help but asked. He too was beginning to think it was a bad idea to confront his enemies that way.

"Well, it was rather stupid. But if you'd been any less passionate and more boringly logical I would have left your ass the first time I had it," Mikhail replied laughingly. Without his passion and fire, Fei Long would have been just another pretty face he'd sleep with once or twice and leave. Whether or not he had Baishe under his control, Fei Long remained a fascination he would never grow tired of. The very fact that Fei Long had always acted from his heart's desire had set him apart from an otherwise uninteresting human being he had no interest in. The only problem, and how unfortunate it was, that Fei Long's past and upbringing had convinced him of quite the opposite, never allowing him to see his true value.

"Even though it might be the death of me?" Fei Long asked unsurely. Most people would say he had done a stupid thing to initiate a war at the time when he could not afford one, especially when he had done it just to fulfill his own ego.

"As oppose to living a boringly long life where you never get to do what you want? Hell, yes," Mikhail pointed out with a devilish smile. “I’m not going to judge you for being who you are.”

Fei Long looked up and saw no mockery in those blue eyes that sparkled like a pair of sapphires. Mikhail had always looked at him exactly the same way as Tao – with nothing but pride and admiration for the man standing in front of him. It was in those eyes that he could see a reflection of himself that differed from what he had been brought up to believe. Whatever Yan had said and whether or not his father had found him worthy, there was someone who appreciated him just as he was – with all his flaws.

"What a great life's philosophy from a spoiled brat," Fei Long commented as he straightened himself.

“Oh but you love me this way,” Mikhail countered with his trademark wink.

“Very funny,” Fei Long sneered at the man’s marketing attempt even though it wasn’t so far from the truth.

"How did you get here so fast anyway? You should've been in Macau."

"It's only a 15-minute helicopter ride," Mikhail explained briefly, clearly trying to avoid giving details.

"So what did you do? Haul your Murcielago in from the air?" Fei Long gave him a suspicious glare. He may not have been in his best state, but his logic still worked fine. There was no way Mikhail could have taken a helicopter from Macau, picked up his yellow Lamborghini from his penthouse and drove to Baishi in less than half an hour in Hong Kong's traffic.

Like a child who had just been caught doing something naughty, Mikhail turned away and pretended to look at something across the street that didn’t exist. "I lied. I was in the area."

"That area had better not be Victoria harbor," Fei Long said suspiciously. He'd rather have Mikhail stay as far away from his casino ship as possible, especially when the exchange was going to take place there that night.

"Oh come on," Mikhail protested. "Your brand new casino ship is sailing for the first time tonight and you're not inviting me. That hurts my feeling, you know?"

"I _will_ hurt more than your feeling if you turn up on my ship tonight," Fei Long warned. There was no telling what would happen if Mikhail were there. Depending on his mood, the man could always come up with some irrational ideas to mess things up to his liking. It was either that, or else life would seem too plain for Mikhail Arbatov.

"Fei Long," Mikhail caught his arm before he could walk away. Suddenly those playful blue eyes had turned serious and deeply concerned. He paused for a while thinking about what to say that would have made a difference. And of all the things he'd wanted to warn Fei Long against or asked of him, knowing he was about to get on that ship and confront the one and only man who had the power to take Fei Long away from him, it all came down to one simple request, "don't go."

Fei Long's amethyst eyes softened as he heard those words and clearly understood what it meant. He could feel Mikhail’s pain and worries through the strong, rough hand that held his arm so tight as if to let go would mean losing him forever.

"I'm just going to get back the deed and return the boy. It _is_ what you want, isn't it?" Fei Long responded with a reassuring smile. "Besides," he added, his fingers moved slowly toward his shirt collar as they parted the fine silk fabric to reveal a sparkling cylindrical jewelry hanging from a fine chain around his neck. "I _am_ wearing this for a reason."

A faint smile full of affection appeared on the Russian's face even though those words that were meant to comfort him had failed miserably. His hand lingered for a moment, caressing the back of Fei Long's gently with his thumb as if to remember the touch by heart before letting go. In his heart he knew that night would be the turning point in their relationship. Fei Long's refusal to acknowledge his feelings toward Asami so far had given him the chance to get closer to the dragon. But that night Fei Long was finally giving himself a chance to face both his feelings and the man who had haunted him for nearly a decade. He wasn’t worried about Asami who’d made his disinterest in Fei Long quite clear, but what Fei Long might come to realize about the hidden truth in his heart that could very well mean the end of their relationship as they knew it. Fei Long was, after all, someone who would give his all for the person lucky enough to earn a place in his heart.

 

***

_Casino ship, Victoria harbor._

The penthouse suite on the upper deck was decorated in classic Chinese style with warm, luxurious fabric and teak furniture. Mikhail paced around the living room full of his men with irritation clearly etched on his face. His idea of a perfect cruise was far from a large suite full of thugs and guns, and the large balcony with two empty sun lounger had made his mood even worse. He knew he wasn't on vacation, but a setting as such had reminded him he should have been on one, especially with Fei Long on the very same cruise ship but somewhere else and with someone else.

"Do you have the feed?" Mikhail asked as he bent down to look at the screen of a laptop computer on the bar table.

"Of course," replied Dmitry as he brought up several security camera views on the screen, "you hired me for a reason."

"I've also hired you for a lot of money which I know you overcharged," Mikhail reminded, rolling his eyes at his old friend from college.

"Hey, with the fact that I'm the only one who can hack into Baishe's security system on the biggest casino ship ever built in Asia aside, if it wasn't for me you'd have flunked your calculus and got your Lamborghini confiscated by daddy back then. This is what I call a reasonable price, my friend," Dmitry argued with a thick, Russian accent as his fingers continued to work on the computer.

"You're back charging me half a million for hacking into a lame college sever over exam papers and you call that a reasonable price?" Mikhail protested.

"Well, if you'd spent some time studying with that amazing brain of yours instead of spending time fucking every hot chick available in the entire dorm you wouldn't have needed me to do that, would you?" Dmitry recalled. Mikhail could always get his straight A's if he wanted to, the problem being there was always something more interesting to do than getting them, which meant that he had to get them through some other way when it was required of him - including convincing his female professors in bed that he deserved one, and of course, getting friends like him to do the dirty work in exchange for something he had stolen from daddy's shipment whenever all his credit cards had been completely maxed-out. That day, however, Dmitry had a hunch hacking into Baishe's security cameras wasn't really for 'work,' not to mention Mikhail smuggling a bunch of his men onto the ship they couldn’t easily escape owned by one of the most powerful crime lord in Hong Kong had been the most dangerous idea he'd ever had to endure among all of Mikhail's suicidal ideas in the past.

"Study calculus?” Mikhail asked as if he couldn't believe his ears. “I’ll tell you what. When a once in a lifetime situation occurs that requires me to find a goddamn X or Y, I can afford to pay about a hundred people to find it for me, that is if I haven't shot the bastard who try to make me find those damn values in the first place. Now shut up and work," Mikhail shot back with a bored expression before changing the subject. "Where's the high roller room?"

Dmitry rolled his eyes before moving on to identifying the images on the screen. Those who had been close enough to Mikhail Arbatov would know better than to argue with him and expected to come out with victory.

 

"This is your high roller room. That's the main hall, the banquet room, and the owner suite..." Dmitry's finger paused over the screen as he looked at the last image he was identifying that revealed two good-looking men sitting on a couch, one with extraordinary long hair and wearing a cheongsam. "Tell me this isn't about you getting your hands on that exotic beauty that screams your type, is it? We can get killed for this, do you realize?"

"We won't if you do your job. And don't talk about him that way," Mikhail warned before picking up his cell phone that had begun to ring a few seconds before. "Yes?"

"The Japanese are about to board from a smaller boat. They are preparing for the exchange right now," the man on the other end of the line reported.

"Is Fei Long planning to go in person?" Mikhail’s voice became noticeably tense the moment he’d been updated.

"No, sir, it looks like he's not going to be involved..." the man's voice trailed off at the end of the sentence as he remembered something important. "Although he has stationed an unreasonably large number of armed guards to secure the area, many of which carefully hidden. There're too many of them, I might say, for a straightforward exchange."

Mikhail paused for a while before sighing heavily as he finally understood what it meant.

 _'I'm just going to get back the deed and return the boy,'_ Fei Long said to him, or rather, lied to him. Having so many guards hidden in the area and making the exchange happen on a ship where he supposedly had complete control of anyone coming or leaving can only mean one thing - Fei Long was planning to get them all - the deed, the boy, and Asami.

Mikhail sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds. He’d almost forgotten who Fei Long was and what he was capable of. At times, the man’s stubbornness was an exact match of his own if not worse.

 _‘What a fine pair we make,’_ Mikhail thought to himself as he opened his eyes, only this time those bright, playful blue eyes had turned as malicious as his smile.

If it was going to be that way, then he had no other choice but to do what he had to. Considering how everything was already one big mess, he might as well jump in on all the fun.

"Bring that Japanese boy to me."

 

***

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

The sound of gunshots from the elevator echoed in the ballroom, resulting in a commotion among the guests and Asami’s men as they tried to figure out what happened. In the Imperial suite on the Dynasty deck, Mikhail quietly stood in front of the monitors with his blue eyes intently tracking the images of each room on the casino ship, making sure nothing escaped his attention. With two powerful mafia figures going at each other’s throat, one wrong move could lead to disaster. He’d hacked into the ship’s security system for this purpose - to gain control of situation while his plans were in motion.

“I want to see every room on level three where Fei Long is,” Mikhail commanded, the agitation in his voice put the whole room on edge that even Dmitri knew better than to fool around. Be it in the middle of a heated deal or in the line of fire, Mikhail Arbatov always retained his playful and carefree attitude. With his poker face, no one could ever tell whether he had something planned or that he was simply playing along with the situation. So on the rare occasions when Mikhail’s voice showed no trace of playfulness, everyone knew the gun in his jacket could go off any minute; when that happens, it doesn’t always point towards the enemy.

“Where is Asami Ryuichi?”

The question silenced the entire room. Somewhere in all the chaos, they lost track of the Japanese man.

“I think we’ve lost him on level two, let me check somewhere else,” Dmitri said nervously as he quickly switched the camera views on the computer.

“Now, Dmitri!” Mikhail demanded.

To Dmitri’s relief, the target saved his life, or some of his limbs, by appearing on camera. “There! He just went through high roller room B.”

“Where is high roller room B?”

“Level three…,” Dmitri’s voice trailed off as he soon realized what it meant. “Shit.”

“Yuri,” Mikhail called without removing his eyes from the screen. “Get some men over there and have them standby for my order.” Fei Long already had many bodyguards around him, but after the incident with Yoh, he was no longer confident that all of them still worked for Baishe.

“We should be sending them to get the deed, not to Fei Long,” Yuri hesitated as he lit himself a cigarette. Their goal was to get the deed, and Mikhail should deal with business before personal matters. “Remember…”

In a split second, the cigarette in Yuri’s hand exploded just before it reached his mouth.

“Question me again and you won’t have the privilege of dying from a bullet,” Mikhail said with a tone that sounded more deadly than the gun that just went off in his hand.

Having no other choice, Yuri nodded quietly and left the room, though not without deliberately giving his nephew a disapproving look for such treatment. Mikhail was about to bring the whole family to ruin because of one man. After all this time, that boy was still a weakling.

“Man, you could have missed,” Dmitri couldn’t help but sighed in relief to see the old man walk away without confronting his nephew any further. Anyone who’d ever gotten close to Mikhail Arbatov knew his reasoning didn’t function when he was in one of those moods.

“I did miss,” Mikhail replied dispassionately as he returned his gaze to the screens. Yuri was a pawn, and one that had been rather useful. But the man’s reasons to die were beginning to exceed his uses.

Dmitri felt his hair rise at the response. While those words sounded like a joke, the expression on Mikhail’s face and the tone he used suggested otherwise. He had no doubt it was easy for this man to kill, but surely not one of his family members. “I thought he’s your uncle.”

Mikhail turned around, raising his brow slightly in question. “And your point is?”

The entire room went quiet as the subordinates looked at each other nervously. Mikhail Arbatov had always been known to take his family very seriously; for him to show such an attitude towards his uncle didn’t just mean something had gone very wrong between them, but it also meant the eldest son of the Arbatov family was prepared to put his authority to the test.

“Oh shit!” Dmitri suddenly exclaimed, causing Mikhail to shift his gaze and froze for a full minute at the image on one of the monitors. Somehow in that chaos, Asami managed to reach Fei Long unaware. With a gun pointing at the triad leader’s head from behind, the Japanese man forced him to enter a room and pinned the slender body down on a table. Cursing furiously to himself, Mikhail quickly reached for the phone.

“What are you going to do?” Dmitri asked with concern. He could tell how much the exotic beauty meant to his friend. Fei Long was no ordinary crush or love interest; he was someone who had the powerful Russian mafia in the palm of his hand.

To Dmitri’s surprise, Mikhail didn’t make the call. He hesitated for a few seconds, as though something just entered his mind before putting the phone down quietly.

“You’re not going to help him?”

“No.” Mikhail smiled. He’d almost forgotten something very important. “That, Dmitri,” Mikhail made a gesture at the long haired triad leader on the screen, “is a man who can kill me with his bare hands. What makes you think he needs my help?”

Fei Long was once a professional assassin, not to mention the best in Hong Kong, if not China. Anyone who attacked him and lived only survived because he decided not to kill. The only problem with the ex-assassin of Baishe was that he often allowed his feelings to interfere. But with emotional interference, Fei Long could still be deadly.

Even then, Mikhail still found it nearly impossible to restrain himself from lending the dragon a hand; a task he only succeeded because of the knowledge that Asami, too, would not kill Fei Long. Not while the boy was still missing. And if he could, he would have done it when he had a chance in the past. No matter how much Mikhail hated it, there was a bond between the two crime lords that they both tried to hide while appearing to be sworn enemies. But in the case that he was wrong, it would only take one phone call to remind the Japanese man that his precious boy toy’s life depended entirely on Fei Long’s safety.

“Is there a microphone somewhere in that room?” Mikhail asked. It was the first time he’d seen them together, and he had to know the details of their conversation.

“In the cameras, yes. Baishe had the best system installed.”

“Turn it on and clear out.”

Dmitri nodded and did what he was instructed to do before leaving the room with the rest of the men. Whatever was going on between the two crime lords was private, and to him it was already a bad idea that Mikhail wanted to stick his nose into their business. Something bad was bound to happen and he was beginning to regret taking the job.

Standing outside by the door, Dmitri could hear the gunshots that followed shortly from the speakers. But the fact that Mikhail didn’t rush out of the room to where Fei Long was meant that the Chinese triad leader had things under control, just as Mikhail had predicted.

Some time later, everything went quiet. Imagining the confrontation was over, they waited to be allowed back inside and return to their positions. But such an order never came and there was only silence from the other side of the door.

“What are you all doing here?” Yuri, who had just returned with news of the boy, questioned irritatingly. They should be working, not standing around outside. “Where is Mikhail?”

“He’s been in there for nearly half and hour,” one of the men answered with concern. Even though they all sensed trouble, none of them would dare enter that room without permission. No matter how casual Mikhail may seem to his men, a gesture of disrespect could lead to deadly consequences.

Yuri growled as he went straight for the door and flung it open without hesitation. “The boy’s here,” Yuri announced.

There was no response from his nephew, not even a nod to acknowledge the information. It was as though he wasn’t at all aware of the other man’s presence, much less heard those words addressed to him rather clearly.

Dmitri stepped inside and saw something he wished the others didn’t. Inside, Mikhail was standing motionless in front of the monitors. But those blue eyes weren’t staring at the screens, they were staring at an absent image that refused to be swept away. He didn’t know what Mikhail saw on that screen, but the look on his face revealed a crushing emotion somewhere between hurt and despair. He just stood there like a ghost, as though life was snatched out of him.

“Mikhail,” Yuri called with a firmer tone, making sure he was heard loud and clear.

Mikhail closed his eyes for a few seconds, forcing himself to make a decision. His tightly clenched fists trembled in an effort to control the emotion that was suffocating him as Fei Long’s words echoed endlessly in his mind.

_I just wanted to make you mine._

He’d known all this, he’d seen it coming, and yet those words had still managed to pierce right through his heart like a dagger. It wasn’t the kiss Fei Long forced on the Japanese man, but the meaning behind those words so clearly spoken that he had long feared would one day come true. Fei Long came to realize something he’d been hiding deep inside his heart; something Mikhail also knew but refused to acknowledge. There was no hesitation on that beautiful face as he said those words. And in those amethyst eyes there were no trace of him, only Asami Ryuichi. Fei Long made a decision. It was time for him to make his.

He took a deep breath to adjust himself and opened his eyes again, only this time those same blue eyes turned ice-cold and void of all emotions.

“Bring him here,” Mikhail commanded. He’d placed himself on the ship for a reason, and no matter what happens, he would see it through.

 

***

Akihito growled as he attempted to rise from the bed. Those filthy Russians kicked him so hard in his stomach, it was painful for him to even breathe properly. His wrists were bound so tight behind his back that he could tell they were starting to bleed. Just when he thought he would finally get to go home, he had gotten into more trouble than he already had or could possibly handle. With Fei Long, his living conditions as a hostage was considerably painless, but for these seemingly barbaric Russians, there was no telling how his life would be if he couldn’t escape, especially when that sick, old bastard was around. Being abused by Fei Long as a means of revenge was one thing, but thinking about being used to satisfy a perverted old man’s desire made him feel sick to his stomach. He’d always prided himself on his spirit, but it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t close to falling apart. And it’s all because of this man who was still standing by the door, looking down at him with those ice-cold, discriminating blue eyes.

Akihito tried his best to gather his strength and returned the gaze in anger. This blond haired, blue-eyed Russian seemed to be the one in power, even though he couldn’t be much older than Fei Long. But despite the man’s angelic features and striking appearance, something about the Russian frightened him in the way the other two crime lords had never accomplished. There was always a hint of compassion and warmth in both Asami’s and Fei Long’s eyes. However, in those blue eyes, he could feel it under his skin; to this man, he was nothing more than a mere pest, one that would be discarded the moment his uses run out.

“Who are you?” Akihito asked, trying his best to remain calm and confident even though he’d always been nervous about speaking English.

Mikhail lifted a brow in surprise, remembering how the boy failed to answer when asked whether he understood English when recently questioned. It surprised him how a simple and ordinary Japanese boy, with limited skills and seemingly no knowledge of their world, could become Asami Ryuichi’s love interest. Not to mention one important enough for the man to come all the way to Hong Kong to fetch him back.

“So you do speak English.”

“Not a lot,” Akihito replied. With his limited knowledge of the language, it was simply impossible for him to communicate anything when he was being attacked by a bunch of angry Russians.

“Good, then you’re not completely useless, after all,” Mikhail replied as he lit himself a cigarette and moved closer to the bed, reaching out his hand to offer the boy a smoke.

Instinctively, Akihito jolted back in alarm at the sudden movement of Mikhail’s hand. He had been through too much to remain calm, especially when he’d just been molested by an old Russian pervert.

Seeing the frightened reaction from the boy, Mikhail laughed amusingly. “Takaba-kun, is it?” he asked and seated himself on the bed next to the terrified hostage. Yuri sure done quite a job on the boy, which wasn’t much of a surprise to him. The moment he saw the Japanese boy in person, he knew Yuri wouldn’t be able to stop himself and he couldn’t help but use the boy to prove his point as well. It was rather amusing to see how the man’s taste never changed after all this time.

“Don’t be afraid,” Mikhail reassured. The boy was cute, but compared to Fei Long, it would be a miracle if he could even get it up. “I drive Lamborghinis, never a Japanese sedan.”

“Who the hell are you?” Akihito ground his teeth in anger as he repeated the question. Even though he should have felt relieved, he hated the way that Russian looked at him, so much that his pride took over his fear. Judging from the way the man humiliated him in front of that perverted old man, the Russian seemed to have no respect for other human beings. And that was the kind of people Akihito hated the most.

“You have some spirit, I’ll give you that,” Mikhail said, amused with the boy’s sudden change of attitude. “My name is Mikhail Arbatov. And that old man back there is my uncle Yuri. He, however, can’t resist a cute boy like you. So the next time you use that tone with me, I’ll be too happy to send you to him with a collar around your neck and a tag that says ‘Yuri’s pet.’ Do you understand?”

Akihito swallowed hard at those last words. He’d heard that kind of threat before from Fei Long, but the way this man said it told him it could happen anytime, even without having to use that tone with him.

But Mikhail…that name rang a bell.

“You’re Mikhail,” Akihito repeated as he began to remember where he’d heard it from.

“Why? Have we met?” Mikhail said jokingly.

Akihito shook his head and tried his best to explain in English. “Fei Long speak your name…sometimes.”

Seeing those blue eyes suddenly lit up and the smug on that face disappeared, Akihito immediately knew he’d gotten the Russian’s full attention at the mention of Fei Long’s name.

“Fei Long talks to you about me?”

“No,” Akihito replied slowly, trying to recall when and where it happened, “in his sleep…” He’d heard it once on the rare occasion when he shared Fei Long’s bed at night, but he came to remember that name from another time. When?

Akihito stared straight into the Russian’s eyes as he remembered. “During sex,” he continued apprehensively. He knew he was prying into a very personal matter, but he’d chosen to take that risk to find out something that may save his life. Every time Fei Long took him, his mind was always somewhere else. The dragon always insisted on being pleased in a very specific way. And often, the look of disappointment that followed told him it wasn’t just a fantasy. Fei Long knew exactly how he wanted to be pleased because someone had pleased him before. But he wasn’t sure of it until a name once escaped Fei Long’s lips when he was near orgasm. This had to be the same man Fei Long was talking about that day when he played the guzheng.

“Fei Long…loves you.” He was quite sure of it.

At that moment Akihito knew he’d hit the jackpot; Mikhail’s blue eyes that were cold and lacking in emotions, briefly showed a hint of longing and sadness. Even though he allowed his feelings to show for only a split second, Akihito could tell the influence Fei Long had over this man. This cold-blooded Russian mafia did have a heart, after all, and that heart had been given entirely to the dragon of Baishe.

“Does he now?” Mikhail smiled and said sarcastically, even though he knew too well his tone wasn’t at all convincing. He should have been delighted to know Fei Long thought of him, even when having sex with someone else. But at that moment, he would rather not have such information.

“…And you love him,” Akihito took the risk and continued. Even though he’d never seen them together, and he’d never been told anything about their relationship, he knew there had to be a strong bond between them. For just the mere mention of Fei Long’s name, somewhere deep down inside, and every time, Mikhail Arbatov bled for it.

“Oh, do I?” Mikhail forced a smile.

“Why…you do this?” Akihito asked. It made him mad to see the three of them going against one another like this when it was clear that they weren’t truly enemies. And as a result, he had been caught in the middle against his will. Normal people with the same problems would have talked about it, but it seemed for crime lords like these three, the only way they knew how to talk to each other was with their guns.

“Maybe I just want the deed,” Mikhail replied casually.

“That deed is important to Fei Long,” Akihito warned. He didn’t understand how hurting Fei Long more would do Mikhail any good, unless he didn’t know the truth.

“Exactly.”

Hearing the confirmation and seeing the cunning grin on that too-handsome-to-be-trusted face, Akihito suddenly felt concerned. Deep down in his heart, he knew when everything blows over and if he’d finally return home with Asami, Fei Long would be left with nothing but defeat. Having spent a lot of time with the dragon, Akihito came to care for the man more than he thought he would. Fei Long may have hurt a lot of people, but he would also do things to hurt himself twice as much. If there was one man who could love and comfort him, then perhaps Fei Long would stop hurting himself and all this trouble would be over. And from what he had seen, Mikhail Arbatov had come closest to being that man.

“Don’t hurt him,” Akihito said worriedly. Whatever happened seven years ago had damaged Fei Long enough that even he could see it, and on one occasion, wept for him.

“Fei Long needs you.”

Mikhail only laughed at those words - a laugh that sounded more pitiful than sarcastic. He rose from the bed and headed for the door without responding to Akihito’s words. As much as he wanted to believe what the boy told him, deep down he knew it would be an act of fooling himself all over again. What Fei Long needs is Asami Ryuichi, the way it’d always been, the way it still was.

 

***

“I want every room on this ship searched and monitored! Find out where Akihito is and get him back here before the Japanese. And seal this floor. Shoot anyone who tries to enter,” Fei Long commanded sharply, making sure everyone knew there would be consequences if anything went overlooked. “And, Wong, find out who has the deed, kill him and bring it back to me.” At that point, it would be foolish to hope for a straightforward exchange. He had to do what was needed to gain the upper hand in that situation.

“Lao ban, you’re bleeding,” Wong said worriedly as he saw blood dripping from his master’s hand. “Let me get someone to dress your wound.”

“I don’t have time.” Fei Long quickly brushed aside the advice and headed to his owner’s suite without another word, slamming the door closed behind him as he entered.

Ignoring the minor injuries on his hand caused by the fight with Asami just before, Fei Long went straight to the bar and poured himself a glass of bourbon. He needed something strong, something to quiet down the turmoil in his chest that was driving him out of control during the time when he needed it the most. Why was it that every time he’d confronted Asami, he would have this inadequate feeling about himself? In those golden eyes, he’d always seemed so pitiful and pathetic. It was as though the man’s words were all that mattered to him.

“Did you want me to acknowledge you that badly?” Asami said. And as much as it’d pained him to admit, it wasn’t so far from the truth. He wanted Asami to acknowledge him, to care for him, to love him in place of his father. And the feeling of inadequacy that haunted him all his life would never go away until Asami accepted him. Somewhere in that house seven years ago, he had fallen in love with this man; as pathetic as it may seem, he’d never been able to pull himself out of it, even now.

Fei Long ran the tip of his fingers along his lips where the taste of Asami still lingered. He could still remember it well, the smell of cigarette and the tangy after taste of those lips. His heart still raced relentlessly now, much like it did seven years ago. Despite all the reasons in the world that should stop him from descending deeper into this man’s depth, it was impossible to deny himself. He wanted Asami. And he wouldn’t be able to rest until that man belonged to him.

Attempting to clear his mind, Fei Long finished his bourbon and walked towards the wooden cabinet by the bed. He reached for the gun that was strapped to his thigh and quickly reloaded it with the bullets from the top drawer without allowing his mind to wander off any more than it already had. There were things to be done and he didn’t have time to waste.

I just wanted to make you mine. Fei Long recalled his own words before he left the room and reached for the jewelry around his neck that suddenly seemed as heavy as his heart; an object he must but could hardly bear to let go.

If that were true, then there would be no place in his life for Mikhail.

 

***

 

The Russians secretly occupied two imperial suites on the same floor that weren’t far apart, one of which Mikhail reserved for his own private use. The Chinese decoration inside the suite was simple yet genuine and highly detailed, reflecting the exceptional taste and the sophistication of its owner, from the color of wooden floor down to the imitation Ming vase by the bed. One look at it and Mikhail could tell Fei Long had handpicked every piece of decoration by himself. That was the dedication the much-esteemed leader of Baishe had for his work and everything he does. Once Fei Long made up his mind to do something, or to love someone, he would devote his all to that task and live for it.

Mikhail removed his leather jacket and flung it over a stool by the bar in the large living room before pouring himself a drink. Soon, he’d be exchanging the boy for the casino deed with Asami, and hopefully things would go as he’d planned. But before the event, he had to focus – something that seemed impossible at that particular moment, after what he’d just seen. Everything he’d done up to that point seemed useless now. And he kept asking himself why he was still there, fighting over something that didn’t exist, fooling himself that what he’d desired was nearly his when it was all an illusion. But even then he’d decided to stay, as though there was still hope when he knew there wasn’t. And the conversation with the boy had made it more difficult to accept the truth.

Just then he heard a click from the door, prompting him to quickly reach for the gun from his jacket. He gave no permission for anyone to enter his suite. Whoever was behind that door was an intruder.

The door opened and revealed a slender figure in dark silver cheongsam. Long, jet-black hair fell over the front of the man’s broad shoulders, and deep, amethyst eyes looked straight at the other man as he stood proud, unaffected by the gun that was pointing at him.

“For god’s sake, Fei,” Mikhail sighed heavily as he lowered his gun. “I could have killed you.”

Fei Long closed the door behind him as he entered and walked quietly to the bar, pouring himself a drink before taking a seat next to the Russian. “I thought I’d join you for a drink.”

Mikhail ran his hand through his golden curls and sighed again, only this time it was a sigh of aggravation, not relief. The last person he’d wanted to see, and the one he least expected to walk in on him at that moment, was Fei Long. “How did you find me?”

“I traced your phone,” Fei Long answered, sipping his drink casually as though it was something he did on a regular basis.

“My phone is untraceable.”

“Not since I put something in it.”

“In my Vertu?” Mikhail asked, surprised. It had never occurred to him that Fei Long would ever feel the need to bug his phone while he was sleeping.

“And your iPhone,” Fei Long added. It appeared Mikhail didn’t know who he was sleeping with. He trusted the man for a lot of things, but this exchange was one of those events where he knew Mikhail just had to find a way to interfere, despite all his warnings and threats. He should have just cuffed the man to the bed, hands and feet.

“Bastard,” Mikhail said, shaking his head slightly. Under normal circumstances, he would have been seriously turned on by the idea that Fei Long had woken up in the middle of the night to touch his things while he was asleep. However, at that moment, he was better off without such feelings toward this man. “You didn’t trust me for a second, did you?”

“No, that would be insulting your intelligence,” Fei Long replied, hoping the man wouldn’t check his cigarette case and lighter. “Where is Akihito?”

“You have some nerve coming here to ask about another man.” Mikhail said bitterly without looking up from his glass. With Fei Long, his visits were always about something else, someone else, never about him. And it seemed the man couldn’t resist reminding him of it, even now.

“I know you have him.”

“And you’re here because you think you can charm your way into getting him back?”

Fei Long paused at the sarcasm in Mikhail’s tone. He wasn’t expecting such an attitude from the man, judging from the way they parted. “I was hoping we could do this without a fight.”

A scornful smile appeared on the Russian’s face as he reached for his cigarette and lit himself one. Fei Long took a glance at the black aluminum case of Treasurer Black and saw two rolls left in the pack that was full just the day before. It was unusual for Mikhail to smoke that much.

“Why should I tell you when you’re probably having the whole ship searched even before you decided to come here?” Mikhail said knowingly. He knew he was right even without having some concrete evidence, and the look on Fei Long’s face didn’t prove him wrong. “So much for hoping to do this without a fight.”

“I see you don’t trust me either,” Fei Long said with a sarcastic smile. Mikhail did know him well.

“Sweetheart,” Mikhail said with a smirk, pausing for a moment to exhale the smoke from his lungs. “There’s a reason I choose to fuck you instead of a pathetic failure of a boy toy like the one you two are foolish enough to be fighting over.” If only he would be more foolish and chose someone less challenging; someone he could easily own and dominate, then he wouldn’t have to suffer so much. But then again, if he could go back in time to change things, he would still do it all over again. No matter how he looked at it, Fei Long was the perfect lover and a worthy adversary equaled to him in every aspect - a perfect match, only the feeling had always been one-sided.

“Akihito isn’t a failure,” Fei Long argued. Even though he knew it wasn’t appropriate to defend the boy in Mikhail’s presence, he couldn’t help but feel a little offended by the crude statement. Takaba Akihito may not seem like much, but his spirit was extraordinary and it had touched him in many ways.

“He fails to impress me. And his other uses depend on whether he can get me what I want.”

“You never care about anyone but yourself, do you?” Fei Long asked rhetorically. He knew that was the kind of man Mikhail was, at least towards the general public. But to those closest to his heart, it was an entirely different story.

“Myself, you, and my family. Everyone else can go fuck themselves for all I care! You should know! We’re exactly the same breed!” Mikhail snapped back. He couldn’t help but feel slightly irritated at how Fei Long could always find something good in people, but rarely in him.

“The last time I checked, my morality is still far more superior than yours,” Fei Long retorted playfully. He was just making conversation and didn’t mean much by it, but it seemed to agitate Mikhail enough to put a frown on that angelic face; something that rarely happened when they were together.

Mikhail took another puff from the jet black cigarette before tapping away the ash on the silver ashtray, smiling sarcastically to himself before he responded. “And that would explain why you’ve put your whole organization at risk by kidnapping this poor boy over personal reasons? Or that you’ve picked this ship full of innocent people as a place of exchange for your own advantage regardless of their safety? I’m not going to condemn you for it because I would have done the same. But make no mistake, Fei, you’re just as selfish and despicable as I am. The only difference between us is that I’m willing to admit it and you don’t,” Mikhail explained with a tone he’d never before used to address the dragon. He knew he was being bitter, but by then, he could hardly contain himself. And judging from the long pause from the other man, it surely didn’t go unnoticed.

“You’re angry,” Fei Long said, more concerned with the sudden change of attitude than the implication of those words. Mikhail’s tone was both distant and cold. And from the very first time they’d met, Mikhail had never been cold, not to him.

“I’m not angry,” Mikhail replied with a cold and even tone, catching Fei Long’s eyes with the burning blue flames in his. “I’m furious.”

Fei Long’s heart skipped a beat at the end of the sentence. He thought he’d seen all the faces of Mikhail Arbatov, but the man sitting next to him that day was a stranger – one that seemed to despise him with a passion.

“Mikhail,” Fei Long called as he reached out his hand to touch the Russian’s face, only to see Mikhail swiftly backed away from the contact. “What happened?”

What happened? Mikhail repeated the word in his mind. Somehow, the question caused his self-control to snap. And before he could help himself, he was squeezing Fei Long’s throat with his hands, his whole body trembling in an effort not to break the elegant neck.

“…I can’t…breathe…,” Fei Long said, his silky smooth voice became broken and coarse from suffocation.

Pressing his lips next to Fei Long’s ear, Mikhail spelled out the words in almost a whisper, though with a tone that suggested an inexcusable crime had been committed. “I saw you.”

Long, elegant fingers attempted to free himself from Mikhail’s immovable clutch as he struggled to breathe. “You saw…what?” Fei Long asked, confused with the sudden display of hostility. Mikhail’s blue eyes were burning with fury, and he didn’t understand why.

The grip tightened as Mikhail jerked the slender body closer, pressing his lips harder against the other man’s right cheek to make sure his words left a mark, the way that image had left him one that would never heal. “You’re not the only one watching the screens, Fei Long.”

In that moment, he understood it all; the change of attitude in Mikhail towards him, the use of that tone and the sarcasm thrown at him endlessly. Mikhail had seen everything, and most likely had heard the entire conversation.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came to mind. What would he say? There was no excuse for what happened in that room. Everything he did was intentional. Mikhail must have known. He saw it in those eyes; there were no room for reconciliation.

“Why have you come here?” Mikhail asked, clenching his teeth as he spoke, as though he was the one suffocating from his own grip. There was never a sense of certainty in their relationship, and he lived each day without knowing when it would end. But it seemed, to Fei Long, what they had was insignificant and expendable – something he could discard the moment he’d found the need to. And as though that wasn’t enough, Fei Long had to remind him of it by showing up for a little conversation, seemingly unaffected by what he’d just done. “Do you enjoy seeing me like this? Or do you want me to fuck you because he didn’t?”

Fei Long’s face flushed red as those words pierced his heart like a thousand needles. Without hesitation, he struck hard on Mikhail’s stomach with his knee, setting himself free before he charged forward, grabbing the other man’s collar and pinned him violently to the wall. “How dare you?!” he growled furiously. Mikhail had every right to be angry, but he would not stand for such an insult.

“Why?” Mikhail snickered at the reaction as he adjusted himself from the blow. “Isn’t that what you’ve been using me for? As a substitute for that man who would rather fuck some boy instead of you?! And yet, you insist on being his whore!”

Fei Long could feel his whole body tremble with rage at the remark. Perhaps partly because those words had some truth in them – a truth that he denied for seven long years, and the pain from hearing it spoken out loud was unbearable. “I’m nobody’s whore!”

“Then what are you?” Mikhail said with a sneer. “He came all the way here to get the boy back when all he did was left you to rot in jail seven years ago. Don’t kid yourself, Fei Long! What you did down there made a whore out of yourself and me!”

Infuriated to the point that he could no longer control himself, Fei Long shoved the other man hard against the wall and returned the blade Mikhail just stabbed him in the heart. “You’re just jealous because you’d never be able to fill his shoes!”

“Oh, wouldn’t I?” Mikhail said as he snatched a handful of Fei Long’s hair and yanked him forward, earning a short cry of pain from the triad leader. “Why don’t I show you what I can do?”

One look at that face and Fei Long suddenly understood what he had done. At that moment, Mikhail looked at him with eyes that showed nothing but resentment and the will to tear him apart. He’d crossed the line and Mikhail reached his limits.

“Stop it!” Fei Long warned as Mikhail forced his lips upon his, crushing his skull between the palms of his hands to hold him steady. It wasn’t even a kiss. It was an assault, cruel and violent; a punishment aiming solely to conquer and deliver pain with each strike. This was not the Mikhail he knew. It was a monster - one he’d created with his own hands.

Grabbing a handful of the delicate cheongsam, Mikhail half dragged, half carried him to the bedroom, kicking the door opened as he entered.

Before they’d reached the bed, Fei Long caught and twisted hard the Russian’s wrist, until he’d managed to break free. He rushed for the door but Mikhail’s hand seized his neck from behind and threw him on the bed, pinning him down into the mattress with his weight.

“Get off me!” Fei Long warned with a glare as Mikhail yanked free the gun strap on his thigh and threw it over the bed near the pillows. With his face down and Mikhail’s hand pinning him by the neck, he could hardly move, much less try to escape.

“Tell me,” Mikhail leaned closer and whispered as he undid the buttons on his jeans with the other hand. His teeth clenched as an image entered his mind; one that relentlessly haunted him for too long. He would have killed the man responsible ten times over, but Fei Long stopped him every time. “Did you enjoy it when he raped you?”

“You bet I did!” Fei Long snapped back angrily without thinking. If Mikhail thought by holding him down like this would make him submit and begged for mercy, he’d have to think again.

At the end of the sentence, Mikhail pulled his pants down to his knees and entered him hard and cold. Fei Long closed his eyes and bit down on his lip as the sharp pain threatened to make him cry out loud. With every thrust, Mikhail’s strong hands clawed at his skin to tear him to pieces, if they could.

Each time Mikhail thrust into him, an image he placed at the back of his mind from long ago became clearer and clearer, until he could see that smirk and those demeaning golden eyes looking down at him with satisfaction, as though it’d happened just hours before.

Flooded with fury and humiliation, Fei Long reached forward for the gun on the bed. Taking advantage of Mikhail’s grip that loosened as he moved, he turned around to face the man above him, slamming the barrel of his gun hard against the other man’s chest.

“Get the fuck off me!” Fei Long demanded, trembling under uneven breath. At that moment, he couldn’t stand it any longer; the pain, the disgrace and the wretched past that was catching up with him.

But the man before him wasn’t Asami, and those blue eyes didn’t have a hint of satisfaction in them. There was only pain and agony in his expression, as though his action tortured him just as much, if not more.

“Don’t make me do this,” Fei Long said, his tone softened as he suddenly realized what he was doing.

For a moment, Mikhail just froze and looked at him as though he already fired and the bullet had gone through his flesh. His blue eyes showed nothing but pain and disappointment as he wrapped his hand around the barrel of the gun, moving it slightly to the left and pressed it closer to his heart. “Right here, Fei Long. Do it and end my misery.”

Fei Long trembled, and the gun in his hand shook with him. For the first time in his life, the weapon he’d carried almost everyday seemed too heavy for him to bear and hold steady. Deep down, he knew, even before he’d reached for the gun, that he would never be able to pull the trigger, even if his life depended on it. But the truth was he didn’t need to. Just the implication alone was enough to shatter whatever faith Mikhail had left in him. One look at that face and he knew a bullet went through, and the damage had been done.

Defeated by his own heart, Fei Long fell back on the mattress, covering his eyes with the back of his hand that still wrapped around the deadly weapon he couldn’t bring himself to utilize. “Do what you want. You know I can’t pull the trigger.”

For a while, the room went completely silent. He didn’t open his eyes to look. He couldn’t bear seeing the pain in those blue eyes; they seemed to hold evidence of the crime he’d intentionally committed. After a few minutes, Mikhail moved but didn’t touch him or make a sound. And then something was dropped onto his torso – a familiar fabric he had always worn. When he’d opened his eyes again, Mikhail was already dressed and stood with his back towards him.

“Put your clothes on and go,” Mikhail said quietly and walked out the door without allowing his expression to show.

Fei Long sat up on the bed, holding the silk garment in his hand and stared at the doorway that was left opened, knowing in his heart that if he’d walked out that door, it would mark the end of their relationship. He told himself it was better that way, and that he had no right to hold on to something he could not care for. Mikhail suffered enough because of him. However, every step that led him away from this man was excruciatingly painful to take.

He rose from the bed and dressed himself, strapping the gun back on his thigh and stepped out into the living room. Mikhail was standing outside on the balcony with a drink in his hand and a roll of Treasurer Black between his lips. Fei Long walked quietly towards the balcony door and paused just an arm’s length away behind Mikhail’s back, looking at the outline of the strong shoulders he’d remembered by heart. Reaching out his hand to feel the warmth he’d long immersed himself in one last time, he was interrupted just before his fingertips made contact.

“I’m going to exchange the boy for the deed with Asami at VIP room six,” Mikhail said coldly without turning around. “If you want to straighten this out, be there.”

 

***

 


	14. Chapter 14

The door flung open, revealing the well-decorated public restroom that was virtually empty. Mikhail stepped in and headed straight for the sink, flipping the faucet handle all the way up with just the tip of his finger. He didn't like to touch something so publicly used and the idea of having to share something personal had always made him uncomfortable. Fortunately, his position had made it possible for him to avoid these circumstances...until now.

Deep, blue eyes stared blankly at the running faucet before he reached out to feel the cold water that he wished was cold enough to numb his fingers. That way, even for a moment, he could forget the touch of Fei Long's skin that still lingered. He rubbed his hands together and watched as the stream washed away the sweet and intoxicating scent that possessed him like an unbreakable spell. Fei Long was a drug, a deadly one that he didn't know how to bring himself to quit, even when he wanted to. But sooner or later, and somehow, he would have to teach himself to live without the constant need to taste the poison that was consuming him both physically and mentally. But for now, there was something he must do before placing himself out of the picture.

"You can come out. I’m not going to kill you,” Mikhail said without turning around as he turned off the faucet.

"You knew I was here," a broken voice sounded from the corner after a brief moment of silence. His quiet, yet firm, footsteps approached the man by the sink slowly.

Mikhail glanced in the mirror at the reflection of a man he almost didn't recognize, and casually shifted his glance to the fresh towel tray that was neatly laid out for the guests by the sink, taking no interest in the gun that was pointing directly at him. "Of course," Mikhail replied as he picked up a towel and dried his hands. "There’re security cameras all over the place. Who do you think paved the way so you could be here unnoticed?"

Tossing the towel in the nearby basket, the Russian turned around to face the man who was once Fei Long's most trusted bodyguard and raised a brow as he saw the heavily bruised and battered body. "I must say, that's quite a job they did on you. I'm surprised you can still walk," Mikhail said, smiling to himself at the fire in those eyes that previously seemed so dull and emotionally lacking. Only Fei Long could change a man this much. "You can put the gun away. I'm not here to kill you."

Yoh paused for a moment to assess the situation before he lowered his gun and rested on the floor, leaning against the wall for support. The Russian seemed unarmed and had the man wanted him dead, Yoh was sure he wouldn't bother doing the job himself. "What do you want?"

Mikhail smiled. "The question is, what do _you_ want?"

"I don't have time to play your games." He was no longer Fei Long's subordinate and there was no longer a need for him to be polite to a spoiled, Russian brat.

"Unfortunately, everything is a game," Mikhail snickered. "And as long as I control this game, you will play or you can get off the ship. My men will accommodate you, dead or alive is your choice." He must admit it was rather refreshing to see some attitude from the boring bodyguard that had been such a big contrast to Fei Long. "You are here because you're too useful as a pawn to be wasted. At least, Fei Long seems to think so." From the information he gathered through his spies and from what he'd seen, Baishe's security system, especially the prisoners' holding cells, was too well organized to escape from without help. And considering the obsession Fei Long's men had towards their master, there was only one man in Baishe who would help a traitor.

"And what makes you think you can utilize my usefulness?" Yoh asked in a mocking tone. If the Russian brat though he would let himself be used, the man had to be out of his mind. "I'll never work for you."

"You seem quite sure for a man who doesn't know who he works for," Mikhail sneered at the remark.

"I work for Asami Ryuichi," Yoh replied without hesitation, his eyes flashed a glare at the accusing Russian.

"You're not quite done convincing yourself of that fact, are you?"

"I'm here to fulfill my job, not for Fei Long or to play your stupid games." He knew exactly what he was doing and what he must accomplish. But even so, for some reasons, Arbatov's words stabbed him like a knife in the heart.

"So you _have_ been deceiving Fei Long for nearly a decade."

"I've been doing my job." Deceiving Fei Long was his job description. It was a task he agreed to do, even before he'd met the Baishe leader⎯ he held no shame in doing so.

"Tell me," Mikhail said smilingly, amused at how far the man would go to keep his honor, even to the point of disregarding himself completely. "How does it feel to betray someone you would willingly die for?"

"I would die for Asami-sama just the same."

"Oh, but you wouldn't," Mikhail countered with absolute confidence. "I've seen the way you look at him. You can deny it to your grave but I know my rival when I see one."

Who the Russian was referring to needed no explanation, and Yoh tried to defend himself from such an accusation. However, his parted lips couldn’t speak the words; the explanation housed in his throat seemed like a lie. Deep down, he knew as much as the Russian did⎯ those words were utterly true.

"Let me make it easy for you," Mikhail said, reaching into his pocket for the black aluminum cigarette case that was recently opened and picked up a roll. "When all this is over, and your so-called boss gets his toy back, I'll pay you to do the job you would have done without getting paid. Say, in exchange for me letting you come on board this ship alive and letting you stay alive."

Deep, brown eyes looked straight at the other man, openly questioning the motive behind the proposal. While it was true that he would be willing to do anything for Fei Long without being paid or assigned to, not to mention that his true boss already gave him the choice, how doing so would benefit Mikhail Arbatov was beyond his comprehension. "I was under the impression that you’d want me to be as far away from Fei Long as possible."

"Correction. I would rather kill you than to see you within a ten-mile radius near Fei Long," Mikhail quickly chimed in. For the first time in his life, he was forced to do something that deeply irritated him. "But things have changed. And should you take this offer. I'll have you know that unlike your previous bosses, you either do this wholeheartedly, or I _will_ kill you."

"You want me to protect him." Yoh confirmed. "Why me?"

"Ironically, you're the only one I can trust." No matter how much he despised that this man may have known Fei Long more than he did, and at the same time shared the same interest in the dragon, it was precisely for these reasons that there was no one else more capable or suitable for the job.

At that moment, something suddenly flashed in Yoh's mind. There was only one reason why Mikhail Arbatov would want someone else to protect the dragon of Baishe. "You're leaving him."

"I only sweat for something profitable," said the Russian, shifting his gaze to the floor in front of him. "Unfortunately, someone has reaped all the profit before I could get my hands on it." What he wanted from Fei Long has been taken. Time after time the man had tried to tell him of this fact, but his persistent nature had always prevented him from taking it to heart until now.

"So you're just going to leave it all behind and forget everything?" What Mikhail said, even he could not imagine. He knew what this man had been through. He was there with Fei Long to witness it from the beginning. It was his job to know.

 _Forget._ Mikhail smiled to himself at the remark and held up the jet black cigarette he had yet to light for the other man to see. "Do you know what this is?" he asked and continued without waiting for an answer. "It's the finest and most expensive cigarette in the world." Mikhail took a short moment of silence, lighting the joint as he placed it between his lips and inhaled the intense yet delicate smoke with a long, deep breath. "The truth is, once you've tasted the best the world has to offer, you don't forget. And because it's irreplaceable; nothing else will quench your thirst ever again. In a way, it never leaves you."

He turned around and removed the cigarette from his lips to place it carefully near the sink, drawing the other man's gaze to the barely smoked roll of Treasurer Black. "Here's your chance to decide. You can live your whole life without ever having a taste of the one thing you want the most in exchange for what you believe in, or you can die reaching out for what you desire, even though you know it will ruin you for life. What will it be?"

Yoh listened in silence, thinking about how ironic it was⎯ the man he could never identify with may have turned out to be the only person who understood all too clearly the feeling he tried so hard to hide. As it turned out, the Russian knew exactly where and how to strike.

"I have a meeting with your two bosses in a few minutes. If everything goes as planned, the boy will return home unharmed and your job will have been accomplished. As for my offer, you think about it and let me know," Mikhail said before he left the room.

 _Ruin you for life._ Yoh smiled to himself at those words. The truth being, he wasn't sure his life hadn't already been ruined by the dragon.

 

\----------

An hour had passed and everything was still quiet. Yoh sat with his back against the bathroom’s door, making sure he would hear the sounds of Fei Long’s and Asami’s men passing through the hallway at the time of the exchange. The meeting was taking longer than he’d anticipated. But then again, no one knew what Mikhail Arbatov’s demands were, or whether Asami would be willing or able to comply. To the outsiders’ eyes, the Russian could benefit a lot from having the casino deed, which in turn would give them the power over Baishe. But knowing Mikhail Arbatov, and Yoh was sure his judgment was sane, everything the man had done had been personal, not business. And because it was personal, there was no telling what would go down on that ship.

Feeling exhausted to the point of collapsing, Yoh closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to gain the strength he needed. For almost three days he’d been on the run without getting any sleep, while his whole body ached like it was going to fall apart any minute. He was sure a few of his ribs were broken. Fei Long’s men had gone further than the usual interrogation procedures, where every strike was an act of pure resentment and rage. It was understandable when everyone at Baishe would have killed to be in his position, not just for the pay or the honor, but for the reason that Fei Long’s men worshipped their master like a god. Any insult to Fei Long was taken by heart, and the consequences carried out with the greatest devotion. But it was precisely for this fact that some of these men had crossed the line in doing something for Fei Long, including going to Mikhail Arbatov for help and interfering with the exchange⎯ an action that brought about the chaos on that ship. But how could he blame any of them when he, too, had done precisely the same. He could have snuck the boy out to Asami-sama anytime, but he’d allowed his emotion to interfere and hesitated. For the moment he rescued the boy would mean the end of his days as Fei Long’s right hand man⎯ a consequence he wasn’t prepared to suffer. His hesitation had led to Asami-sama’s decision to attack Baishe, leaving him no choice but to steal the deed and initiated the exchange. Yes, he was no doubt one of them⎯ a foolish man possessed by something he knew was too far beyond his reach.

The sound of gunshots startled him from his rest. Someone, no, two footsteps were running his way. Yoh pushed the door opened just enough for him to see the commotion outside and immediately picked up his gun as he saw Takaba Akihito running down the hallway, chased and being shot at by Yuri. Either Mikhail had lied to him or something had gone seriously wrong.

Getting up as fast as his heavily injured body permitted him to, Yoh stepped outside and ran after the Russian as the chase continued up the stairs to the deck. He took a shot at the man and cursed his weakened state as the bullet barely hit the Russian on the shoulder, allowing him to continue with the chase.

“Stop!” he yelled, raising his gun at Yuri, hoping that it would give the boy enough time to escape. But suddenly he felt dizzy and lost his balance. Despite all his efforts to get back up on his feet, everything went dark for moment, making it impossible for him to be sure whether the commotion up on the deck, followed by a few more gun shots, and the sound of his boss calling the boy’s name, had been real or just his imagination.

The next thing he knew, he was on the stairs, dragging himself up onto the deck when everything had gone quiet. Yoh paused for a moment at the sight of long, black hair dancing in the wind against the backdrop of a pitch black sea and a dark sky without a single star in sight. In the dragon’s arms was a familiar black folder, one he knew better than anyone what it contained. Fei Long has gotten the deed back, and it seemed the boy had been taken home.

A heavy sigh escaped Yoh’s lips as he felt a heavy weight lifted from his chest. He wasn’t sure what it was for, whether it was the fact that his job was finished, or that Fei Long was standing there with the deed, safe and unharmed. Up to that point, nothing seemed to matter. Here, on this deck was where everything was going to end. For nearly a decade he had stood by this man as he’d been instructed to do, and to Fei Long he had been the most trusted bodyguard. But what he’d carried out to perfection wasn’t the job designated to him by his true boss, nor was it the trust he’d gained from Fei Long while he was a spy. It was the cage in which he’d confined himself that still remained unbroken and unscratched⎯ a cage that was filled with every smile he wished he could show in Fei Long’s presence, every word that was left unsaid and unanswered, and every pain in his heart Fei Long had inflicted every time those amethyst eyes looked past his existence. For seven years, he’d lived with feelings that didn’t have a place in his life but never faded, things he didn’t have the right to say that never seem to be forgotten, and a man he knew existed but wasn’t allowed to be. What he’d hoped for wasn’t to have his feelings returned or to be acknowledged, but for once, and only once, he wanted Fei Long to see him, not as a trusted bodyguard, not as a spy, but as a man who had always been there but never present, every step of the way. And he was ready to die for it, if that was the cost.

He took a step forward and stood quietly behind the tall, elegant figure he knew by heart, inhaling the sweet scent he’d been intoxicated with everyday for the past seven years. This could be the last time he would ever drown himself in this drug, the last time he would see the flawless skin he was forbidden to touch, and the last time he would see those eyes that never looked upon him.

_Turn around, Fei Long. Turn around and see me._

“…Yoh…Why are you here? How did you…?” Fei Long asked. He didn’t expect the man to be on the ship but most of all, that Yoh would show himself in his presence after all that had happened.

“I had some unfinished business.”

 _Unfinished business,_ Fei Long thought to himself. It seemed that everyone did. And to him, he wondered if his unfinished business would ever come to an end. Now that Asami has sailed off with Akihito, in his heart there were still too many questions left unanswered.

“I’m surprised you’re still alive. Why didn’t you escape?” Fei Long asked. He’d thought the man would have left with Asami, if not disappeared completely. There was no longer a place for him at Baishe, and the moment he’d learned of the betrayal, he’d said his goodbye to this man who had been both a trusted subordinate… and a friend. “Did you think I would forgive you?”

“I didn’t come here to ask for forgiveness. I just can’t die without fulfilling that promise.” He had no more reasons to lie. He was there for the boy, to finish his job, not for forgiveness, not for Fei Long.

 _A promise made to Asami,_ Fei Long thought as a bitter smile appeared on his face. Everything in his life seemed to have revolved around that man. Everything Yoh had ever done had been because of Asami. Everything he’d ever believed to be true had turned out to be a lie. One day, even Tao will grow up and no longer find him necessary. And now that he’d just given up the one man who’d ever loved him for the past he could not let go, he knew from this day forward that his life would be lived just as it had always been, just as he was born to be⎯ alone.

 _When you’re done, you can come home…,_ Alexei once said. Home⎯ a word that had always sounded distant and unfamiliar. Perhaps he would never learn what it meant in this lifetime.

“Then what do you intend to do?” Fei Long asked. At this point, the truth was he’d lost the ability to care.

But to his surprise, Yoh turned over the gun in his hand and offered it to him.

“If I am to die, I’d rather die by your hand,” he said, looking straight into Fei Long’s eyes with nothing but clear determination. He had no place in Fei Long’s life. And if killing him would be able to undo some of the pain in Fei Long’s heart, some of which he’d caused, then his life would have been worth living.

“Honestly, you and everyone else,” Fei Long said, snatching away the gun and pointing the barrel at the man he once trusted with his life, who now stood in front of him unwavering by the possibility of death. “Is this your way of putting an end to things?”

“…This is the only way for one whose heart was stolen by you,” Yoh said, looking straight into Fei Long’s eyes that seemed to have lost the ability to trust. _Stolen._ There was no other word more appropriate. Fei Long was never a possibility for him to give his heart to, nor would he ever allow himself to fall for a man he was forbidden to get involved with emotionally. Indeed, his heart had been stolen, somehow, somewhere along the way when he pretended to stand by this man’s side.

“Am I supposed to say that’s very noble of you?” Fei Long asked. Just looking at the man made him sick to his stomach. Was this how Asami felt when he confessed his feelings? Indifference? Possibly a little pity? Perhaps this was what he was to Asami, someone he didn’t want to see dead, but not the person he’d ever considered as a lover. Perhaps his heart also had been stolen by Asami, and the only way to end it was just as Yoh suggested, death.

But if there was one thing Akihito had taught him, it was that everything needn’t end the only way he’d been brought up to believe it should, with violence⎯ that there was always another way out. He still had a chance of resolving the problem that had been eating away his heart with Asami. And with Yoh, nothing would change, whether or not he pulled the trigger.

“Right now even that gets on my nerves,” Fei Long said, lowering the gun in his hand as he looked away. “A person’s heart is so difficult to understand. What changes just because you confess your feelings to someone, if in the end, they won’t become yours?” A confession seemed nothing more than an act of selfishness, and love seemed insignificant and useless without being returned. Everything that Mikhail had done for him couldn’t erase Asami from his heart. Just as those golden eyes would never look at him the way they looked at Takaba Akihito.

“Does it matter?”

Fei Long paused at the question he wasn’t expecting to hear. He had been taught to succeed in everything he initiated and never pursue anything without being certain of the outcome. To him, it mattered.

“Someone once told me, that you can live your whole life without ever having a taste of the one thing you want the most in exchange for what you believe in, or you can die reaching out for what you desire, even though you know it will ruin you for life,” Yoh said, smiling to himself at those words. “I figured it was worth dying for.”

Fei Long paused for a moment, knowing in his heart who Yoh was referring to. There was only one man he knew who lived his life strictly by that rule. “I didn’t know you talk to each other.”

Yoh smiled. “Extraordinary things happen everyday.”

 

***

The dark sky flashed in the distance, lighting up the rainclouds that gathered in the horizon. Leaning against the railing on the sky deck by the swimming pool, Mikhail closed his eyes and listened to the howling wind that sounded like a call from an angel of death, the rumbling of the sky matched all too well with the feeling in his heart.

He opened his eyes again at the sound of someone approaching him from behind. He knew exactly who it was. Familiar footsteps, coupled with the scent he had come to know by heart, allowed him to identify the man without having to turn around.

Fei Long paused for a few seconds behind the tall, masculine body he could almost draw without looking. Only most of the time he would see it from the front, together with a playful smile and a pair of blue eyes that lit up whenever they looked at him. But that night all he saw was Mikhail’s back, and even though he knew the man could sense his presence, Mikhail didn’t turn around to greet him.

“Can I have one?” Fei Long asked as he took a step forward and stood by the other man’s side, gesturing at the black and gold cigarette Mikhail had between his lips.

Just two days ago, the same gesture would have prompted Mikhail to offer him his own cigarette. But now, without a word spoken, a large, strong hand reached for the black aluminum case in the leather jacket and handed it to him instead. Fei Long paused at the unexpected reaction before taking the cold case. He picked out a roll and placed it between his lips.

“May I?” Fei Long asked, leaning forward in a gesture for his cigarette to be lit.

Mikhail raised his hand up to block out the wind and bent over to light the cigarette in Fei Long’s mouth with his own before turning away again. Still, he didn’t utter a word.

“They told me you want to use the helipad at nine. I assume you’re flying out tonight?” Fei Long asked after taking a few long puffs on the cigarette. He didn’t think Mikhail would be leaving so soon, and not without saying a word to him about it directly.

“So?” Mikhail said with irritation in his tone, indicating that he wasn’t in the mood to answer questions.

“It’s not safe to fly in this weather,” Fei Long said, holding his breath in between each word at the answer that was both cold and distant. “Can’t you wait until morning?”

A scornful smile suddenly appeared on the Russian’s face, one that was a mixture of disdain and bitterness, perhaps even a little self-pity. It was the first time ever since they’d been together that Mikhail had given him a look of pure resentment, as if what he said had been words of insult.

“It’s about time you stop pretending you give a damn,” he said with a sneer. “You and I both know that the only reason you want me to stay is because you’ve just been dumped, and you want someone to be here for you.” He knew he was being cruel and unfair, but without constantly telling himself this, he would find it impossible to leave.

Taken aback by the words that stabbed him right in the chest, Fei Long found himself unable to respond with the usual ferocity he would have lashed back at anyone who dared speak to him in such a way. After all, Mikhail’s words were true. He knew they were, deep down in his heart. It had always been his selfishness along with Mikhail’s persistent nature that led them to that point where they could no longer look at each other’s face without feeling some kind of pain and regret. He couldn’t help asking himself how long it had been since the last time they were simply happy in each other’s presence, without worrying about tomorrow, and without secretly counting down to the day a moment like this would finally come. And yet now that Mikhail has positioned himself out of his reach, even though the man was still standing just an arm’s length away, he still found himself surprised and unprepared.

“Even if that were also true, is it so hard to believe that, after all this time, I actually do care for you?” Fei Long asked, tracing his eyes on the outline of Mikhail’s face, at those lips that now refused to speak to him with kind words, and those eyes that would see anything but him.

“The truth is, Fei Long, I don’t want to know,” Mikhail replied before drawing another long, deep breath through the cigarette while his eyes continued to stare into the darkness in front of him.

Fei Long closed his eyes for a few seconds to allow the reality to sink in. Everything he’d ever said up to that point must have seemed like a lie. But the worst thing about it was that he’d allowed Mikhail to take these lies and turn them into promises he could not fulfill. Their relationship had been based on something that wasn’t really there, something he’d created unknowingly to keep this man in his life.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Fei Long said sincerely. All his life he’d done many unimaginable things, some of which he’d regretted, and some he felt had been deserving. But to this man who had risked everything for this relationship while he himself risked nothing, he owed an apology, and a heart he didn’t have to give.

“Then do me a favor,” Mikhail said, raising his gaze up to the dark clouds ahead as he tapped the ash away from the cigarette. “I’m going back to Moscow after this. My father will stop bothering you and cease all supports to Toh. But keep an eye out for him and your brother, who will strike at you any chance they get. If you need anything, call Alexei. He’ll be glad to help you in any way he can.”

“…And you?” Fei Long found himself suffocating at his own question, knowing too well that the answer would rip through him like an electric current.

Mikhail paused for a few seconds to smoke his cigarette, and finally turned to look him in the eyes, as if to make sure the message would be clearly understood and taken to heart.

“Starting from the moment I leave this ship, I don’t want to see you or hear from you again.”

The sky flashed once, followed by a deafening thunder that somehow felt like a whip being casted upon him in punishment. Mikhail could have taken a knife and carve those words on his flesh and it would hurt less. A favor, he said, more like a gift at the cost of a deep and ever painful scar. Just as Asami had given him one, now Mikhail wanted to leave his mark.

Fei Long turned his gaze away slowly to the pitched black water crashing onto the side of the ship and smiled to himself underneath a curtain of long black hair that covered most of his face, making it hard to see his expression.

“I had hoped that we could remain friends,” Fei Long said, his voice trembled but not as much as the cigarette he held in his hand.

It was what Mikhail needed to get out of this relationship. He knew this, and still his selfishness had wished it would turn out differently. It would have been easy to have things go the way he wanted them to. He only had to reach out and hold Mikhail in his embrace and kiss him the way they’d always kissed for Mikhail to change his mind and go through every pain all over again. But this time, he knew he had no right to ask this man to stay. Indeed he owed Mikhail this favor, just as Mikhail deserved the right to mark him with a scar.

“I don’t want to be your friend,” Mikhail said in an expressionless tone that couldn’t be any clearer and, without waiting for a response, turned around to walk away.

“Wait,” Fei Long called softly as he reached for Mikhail’s jacket, turning him around with a gentle tug on the sleeve.

“You forgot this.”

Fei Long’s hand slipped past Mikhail’s chest to the inside pocket of his leather jacket, lingering there for a moment too long before dropping in the black aluminum cigarette case he had been holding. He wanted to remember all this, the loud and heavy sound of Mikhail’s heart beating against the strong, masculine chest, the smell of aftershave that used to turn him on every time Mikhail drew near, and the warmth of this body that felt so much like his father’s.

Everything.

Taking a step back, Fei Long straightened himself before giving the man in front of him a quick bow. It had been a privilege, knowing someone like him, and it was an honor to say the one word that no one else deserved.

“Xie xie*,” Fei Long said. “Mikhail Arbatov.”

 

 

**********************

 

_*means “Thank you” in Chinese._


End file.
